talk about my life as a young mother hoping to do the best for her children in spite of the life difficulies.As a Dentist I want to share you my occupational ticklers...

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Location: mosul, Iraq

I am a 37 years old mom ,I am a mother of 3 children. I am a Dentist. I try to make every thing perfect. The life I have, the difficulties I face make me anxious.. I like to have a social life; I cannot resist my feeling of being lonely, but I don’t have good social life, & I am lonely.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

The truth....

Dear friends
When America decided to liberate Iraq from the x- regime , I believed that a life full of pleasure is coming. I thought every one will have a job , we will have rights & respect in our country , we will be able to live free & to put forward a normal , happy life, with good future to our children, with no fear &no pain .I thought the Iraqis will promptly start rebuilding their country & will try so hard to contest to convoy the world development .I thought we will built beautiful country , & could be a model for the others ( like the Japanese when they stood up again after the war ).I thought we will live in a rich , well developed country .I thought we will develop the health& education institutions .I thought we will live in good environment free of pollution .I dreamed we can travel & see the world which we are part of it , I thought we will list fun among our priorities. I thought no more tension & no more tears will roll down my eyes , unless tears of happiness. I believed I will be optimism & cheerful again as I used to be …….
I was either tricked ,or may be I was dreaming ………
Then I woke up to see a life full of tears, pain ,fear ,tension ,more pollution ,more backwardness, bad expectations with no hope………

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Birthdays parties

Today is my mother birthday , I couldn’t sent her her birthday present because we don’t have post services, I couldn't find any travelers to Baghdad, I can't get Baghdad on phone to send her my best regards &to send her my wishes & love ….
She will celebrate her birthday this year with my Dad, without me , without her grandchildren even without Rose & her husband &daughter ( my sister moved to Dubai you know)……..
I know that she feel lonely this birthday ,we all used to gather & celebrate the birthdays together …………
In the last three years ,I couldn’t make any birthday parties for my children ,as we use to invite their friends & make very nice parties , but now no one would come because we live near a police station & many attacks & fights occur nearby ,as well as the bridges could be blocked at any time, and there is a big problem it's the gasoline shortage ,& the very high price of the gasoline in the black market………

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

good news

Yesterday my sister Rose received the inhalers Luke sent, Sunshine &I are so pleased & thankful to you Luke you are a real& dear friend . I know you will say that's what Bloggers for…..

Monday, September 19, 2005

The psychological war

Hello dear friends
Every day we are under the pressure of rumors ,the previous regime members ( they are so many ), work hard to destroy us through rumors which are dangerous & effective weapons ( just like what they did in Al-aema bridge ) they killed thousand of people by one rumor, when someone said a man will explode himself , people were panicked & began to run ,they thronged over each other , many of them threw them selves to the river, I know that happened three weeks ago but I wanted to mention it as an example for the rumors danger.
Every day I go to work I face many rumors , although I try to calm my self & to be careful not to be deceived ,but I work outside the town &I am worried about my family safety , so I can't stop worry among these rumors. I hear about people were kidnapped & killed , kids were killed by gun shots while they were leaving their school , I hear about explosions happened in Mosul or Baghdad & hundreds of people were killed ,& so many scary stories .Some of them are true many of them are not.
We can't be aware ,because we don’t have good & innocent local news sources, & not all what happen is mentioned in the other news channels .I feel miserable I should not believe their swearing, or their assertion ,it's too hard I need to be reassured not be more frightened …


Thursday, September 15, 2005

Paradise in Hell

I have beautiful apartment ,very well designed, very well decorated, full of handmade decorations ,I made them by my self . In this summer my husband painted the apartment while we were in Baghdad visiting my parents, we put new curtains ,we modernized the sitting room furniture .Last summer we bought new Turkish furniture to Sunshine's bedroom , my kids have very nice rooms apt to the child's world . We also have large garden( we built our apartment over the house of my parents in law) ,my mother in law take care of it all the time ( she is a expert), you can see many kinds of flowers ,nice trees , even some of them are scarce , like a tree gives very tiny oranges, it put its bounty twice a year ,it's a Japanese tree. Another tree gives very large lemon ,its size equals a melon size, with very nice smell.
But when you open the outside door you see dirty street , with many craters, then when you turn to the main street you will find more & larger craters &holes, at the sides of the streets there are partly destroyed buildings. You can also see policemen in the checkpoint wearing black face cover (very scary & forbidding)…..
Everyone who comes to our apartment feels like he is in a different world ,unlike the outside world, when the American soldiers entered our house for inspection , every one said' WAW' , one of them kept saying very nice . One of them throw him self on our couch , saying that is just like home , & many other flattering sentences .
I can't imagine our life without our paradise , you know we spend most of the time in it , we only leave it to go to our jobs , & the kids go to their schools , I mean we go out very rarely for other reasons……..
Thanks to Allah that gave us our own Paradise ….

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Tell me how..?

Dear friends
As my daughters will start new scholastic year , I started to have sleep problems .
Last year Mariam suffered a lot in her way to & from school ,many times she & her grandma had to run & hide in strangers houses .How do you expect she feels about this year?
Although she is happy to be in the second class with new friends ,&that she loves her new uniform ,new bag& new stationeries.
But she started to see scary dreams, &yesterday She woke up screaming because of a bad nightmare, with so much tears wetting her face.
Tell me how can I am assure &calm her down. How can I be convincible , while I feel so bad &un secured ?!
I know that this year our neighborhood is much better, but I will be at work because I finished the mothercraft rest , unlike last year I was at home, & this year She will have to go by her self ,not with her grandma , because Yosif (my little boy) will stay with the grandma .So we hired a car with private driver to take her to &from the school.
All the moms I know feel the same way . We feel scared when our children are a way from us ….

Friday, September 09, 2005

What a coincidence !!!

When I was in Sunshine's age , I used to spend hours playing Music on my keyboard , that was my own world, when I had been so harmonious I used to get upset when I had to go out with the family , or when someone visit us.
Now Sunshine's world is the computer & internet , she hide from the real tough world to spend hours with her dear invisible friends .I think the imaginary world is much fun & more intimate than the real world . I guess I started to be depressed & upset since my keyboard was broken ten years ago & I wasn’t able to fix it or buy a new one ( I miss you my keyboard )&since then I had to be in the real world with no chance to run from it at all .
What a coincidence !! I used to enjoy my musical keyboard & now Sunshine & I are enjoying the computer keyboard …
But I assure you that we are enjoying the Music & computer , & not the keyboard it self ….
Mama ….

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Work troubles...

Dear friends
You all know that I am a dentist ,but what you don’t know is that I wish I can work in an
other field ,but I can't because it is difficult to find jobs now days , in fact its impossible .
I don’t like my job for many reasons as the risk of contagion, Many of the patients I deal with are sick with (viral hepatitis-B) one of the most dangerous& infectious liver diseases . I am not even inoculated against the infectious diseases. Many other diseases are found in the poor provincials ,like typhoid fever( you can find it in all the provincials) ,Malta fever ,cholera is now a big problem , tetanus & many other diseases.
The only way of protection I get are nylon gloves & mask.
The people there are so Sloven ,they don’t wait in queue ,they don’t show respect to the medical staff .Some times they steal our money & bags. Most of them are illiterate , they don’t even read nor write .I feel very much sorry for their kids I look at them as victims. Their parents don’t send them to schools although education in Iraq is free & mandatory. They don’t care about their vaccinations .
Now days our health centre gives the village some alimental items ( Its from the Unisef ). We are only four doctors & about 20 sub staff , ( the other members are in (Telaefar) now because of the military operation . And you can not even imagine the mess ,every one is yelling , there is no enough air to breath, I stand in the middle of the swarms telling my self( you don’t belong here) .
I try to advice the people there about how they should be clean ,&to live in clean environment ,they should care about vaccination for their kids, to send their children to schools .But they are dummy,& I feel worthless there.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Top view ...

Galy Ali Beg waterfall....

that was a very big waterfall....

Monday, September 05, 2005

My daughter Mariam ...

My adorable son ....

little tourist boy ...

Sunday, September 04, 2005

A day & a half of normal kids life ....

Hi friends
I think sunshine mentioned that we were on vacation , we went to Kurdistan with my parents who came from Baghdad .
Since my parents called us 10 days ago & informed us about their plans to take us with them to the resorts , my kids began to pack their luggage.
They became impatient ,the time passed so slowly .
Unfortunately five days before my parents arrival, I had bad back pain &difficulty in walking , I have an old history of disk problem.
I prayed to be able to walk again & not to disappoint my family ,specially my kids.
I took strong analgesics ,wear my medical back belt &ignored my pain.
I became a little bit better ,I persuaded every one that I became fine .
My kids had a great time , they saw marvelous views, the weather was very nice , every thing was perfect indeed .
Of course sunshine will write every think in details .
My kids had a day & a half of normal kids life filled with fun &laughter. They ran ,claimed ,played in the water ,enjoyed a Kurdish wedding ,saw the mountains ,& the waterfalls.
I beard my pain & it worth it , it was unforgettable trip to my children.
It was difficult to walk in the humped roads .But their smile worth more than that the pain .
Now I should rest for few days …………..
Bye …….