Emotions....

talk about my life as a young mother hoping to do the best for her children in spite of the life difficulies.As a Dentist I want to share you my occupational ticklers...

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Location: mosul, Iraq

I am a 37 years old mom ,I am a mother of 3 children. I am a Dentist. I try to make every thing perfect. The life I have, the difficulties I face make me anxious.. I like to have a social life; I cannot resist my feeling of being lonely, but I don’t have good social life, & I am lonely.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

miserable and lost mama

NO, NO WAY., I can't believe things are going to be better for Iraqis. After seeing what is happing to Palestinians in Gaza and to Iraqis, and the whole world is watching with silence and cold blood, that killed hope and brought all memories back to my mind. Since I was 9 years old I witnessed the Iraq -Iran war, I remember the virulent inroads, the alerting alarms. I remember how my mom was worried all the time about my uncle (her youngest brother), he was like many many young Iraqis in the middle of the war zone. I remember some people that had died or had been captives for years, so many victims that had neither choice nor chance to refuse their predestinations. Then Sadam put us in the worst situation when he attacked Kuwait, after that the sanction came to torture my people, life became tough, many families even the educated ones had to live under the border line of poverty. The functionary's salary became one dollar per month. This situation continued till 2003, the Iraqis were exhausted when the Americans occupied their country, that's why some of them including me whished that this OCCUPATION could bring in somehow hope (I feel shame to admit that) .but that was wrong. And the killing and the iniquity became crueler, unbelievable and beastly. Our children saw very horrifying circumstances, heard the worst stories of murders and horror. I know my biggest responsibility toward my kids is to offer them protection and security, and assure them the best future, after all what I am doing and suffering for them I feel very miserable and lost, I don't know what to do! Leaving Iraq is very horrifying. How? Where to? What shall I work? How can I live among strangers?, Without family? , Friends? NO, I CAN'T. But what about my kids' future?!!!!I wonder what they would choose.
Mama

14 Comments:

Blogger BAGHDADENTIST said...

Dear mama, i thought the same but trust in god. you are a saint and i believe god will not keep you lost and worried.
wish you luck.

07 January, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was thinking about you as I read the news about the attack on Gaza... Momma must understand the fear the mothers of Gaza are feeling... It's so tragic. I'm sorry I have no choice but to pay taxes that support the inflicted suffering in Iraq, Afghanistan, Palestine... I have been seriously thinking about immigrating out of the US. I'm really sick of the way we are forced to pay taxes that go to the harming of others. I'm really sick of the propaganda that infiltrates our media and our lives. I'm ashamed to be a citizen of the United States. I'm ashamed of my country. I'm so ashamed of the crimes done to others in my name!

08 January, 2009  
Blogger Ripama said...

Mama,

It is a difficult to move away to strange people and places. They probably won't let you move to the US, but generally speaking Americans are more accepting of foreigners than some other places.

Compared to Iraq, it would be a strange place I'm sure, but most Americans, once they found out who you are and why you're here, would accept you and your family as friends and neighbors. Of course there are other factors to consider such as location, job opportunities, housing etc.

Maybe you should do some research for possible countries to emigrate as the first step to getting serious. Once you see what they have to offer, and what's available, it might help you decide what is best for you and your family.

I good friend of mine had to escape from Cambodia in the late 1970s to avoid being executed by the Pol Pot regime. She and her mom left Phenom Pen on foot over the mountains to Thailand. Along the way she lost her mother. She spent several years in a refugee camp before coming to America. Now she returns to Cambodia once a year to visit old freinds and family.

08 January, 2009  
Blogger Ray-Ray said...

At the very least, you are not a stranger to many of us, who read your words, even if we are strange to you... if you chose to move elsewhere.


with hope and best wishes for the future -- Rachel

09 January, 2009  
Blogger kanarinka said...

Mama - I sent you an email message to your gmail account. Let me know what you think of it. My thoughts are with you and your family.

10 January, 2009  
Anonymous ROSEBAGHDAD said...

Dear Ripama:
You are talking how easy the american accepet other foreigners in your country, I think u are wrong. My husband is studying PHD in UK and he had a research accepted in a big conference in the US, but because he is Iraqi he wait for 3 months to get his visa and afcourse he couldn't attend the conference and his supervisor went instead of him, and after more than 5 months the Us embassy called him and told him it is too late now to go but he can attend another conference if he want, and he give them the name of the other one but till now he is still waiting for his visa:) and he is a UK residence not living in Iraq and he only asked for visit visa. they even asked him to give them a bank statment.

10 January, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's interesting that the closer we get to global integration, becoming one human family, there are powers that seem to work to divide us and make money off us at the same time.

Everyone is entitled to their own, mine is that the old powers are using everything they have to hold on to their profit-making ways at the expense of everything and everyone else. They know their paradigms and subsequent actions are a dying breed. They are near-minded. They think they only live one life on Earth and they won't have to face their Karma. So they reach for everything they can get their hands on and don't have a regret for all the suffering they inflict. That's how Israel can justify its Slaughter of Gaza. I'd feel sorry for them, being so delusional, that I'd pity them. But then I look at the pictures of the devastation they've caused and I can only feel for their victims.

What goes around comes around.

14 January, 2009  
Blogger Michomeme said...

Dear mama, I realy had bad feeling when I remembered with you all the sufferances which Iraqis forced to face, despite that I only lived the Gulf war and all the sanction year untill this moment.
it is true I didn't know what our families faced during the Iraqi-Iranian war, but I can imagin the bad history that our parents faced all through the 1980's untill we bacame young enough to live the same experience.
but the hard thing in this was is the violence and the killing, while the war you talked about was between two governments, Iraqis didn't kill eachother for sectarian reason or other things.

we are facing to much, we became stronger and very weak in the same time.

all we know is we have to have hope, and to believe in God's well as much as we can..I'm sure everything will be good someday, if it is not for our parents, its for us, the new generation, and if it is not for us, it will be for our children, that are not born yet, the next generation..

Micho

16 January, 2009  
Blogger dancewater said...

I am very sorry and very ashamed of what the US (my country) has done to Iraq.

Bush & the military acted like monsters. Same for Israeli leaders and the IDF.

19 January, 2009  
Blogger dancewater said...

rosebagdad is correct.

It is difficult to get proper papers to immigrate to the USA, or even to visit. And, once you are here, you get assistance for 8 months only... after that, you are on your own. Some communities will welcome you, some will not. Here in North Carolina, a women wearing a head scarf will have perfect strangers tell her to leave the country.

Some areas of the country are more welcoming to foreigners.

19 January, 2009  
Blogger Average American said...

Please do not give up hope Mama. Most of Iraq is already past the worst times and Mosul will get there too. When your daughter returns from Baghdad, she will have good stories to tell you and it will cheer you up, I am sure of this. Iraq has been through so much for so long, I know that it seems like it will never end, but it will. Most of the killing in the past three years has been about money and power, not religion. Every election gives Iraqis a chance to get better and more honest people in charge. Spread the word, advise people to choose carefully. I sincerely think that in 3 years, you will not believe how far you have come. May God bless and watch over you and your family.

Joe

28 January, 2009  
Blogger Tossing Pebbles in the Stream said...

I wish you courage in these trying times. The Americans are leaving. Iraqis can learn to live together again without the Americans there. I believe the Obama Administration in the US will be more understanding of the World. The US has done Iraq great harm. They owe you restitution.

When the US left Vietnam they took a lot of Vietmanese with them who feared for their lives. I have not heard that the US will be allowing Iraqi's who helped them come to the US. Perhaps, the risk to those who worked for the Americans will not be as great.

I admire your devotion to your family and country. It takes courage to leave your life behind.

I am a Canadian. Canada has many people who are immigrants. We pride ourselves on being a bilingual and multicultural country. We are among the most peaceful of countries and always near the top of the UN list of best countries in the World.

There is a growing Islamic community in Canada from a number of countries. The first Muslim I met were Ismaili Muslims that had to flee Uganda under Idi Amin. They used a building owed by our local church as a Mosque for many years.

I have a friend whose family came to Canada as refugees (boat people) from Vietnam. Besides the difficulty of being an immigrant she suffered from polio. Her family has done well. She went to University, became in IT engineer and is now married with two children. They are a well off professional couple.

I hope their is a great future in Iraq for your children. Sunshine, in particular, is an extraodinary child. (Of course, you know that without me saying so.) In know you will do everything to see your children have a bright future.

03 February, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi mama,i miss ur posts and waiting for a new one.

21 February, 2009  
Blogger Ray-Ray said...

you haven't written recently, but that does not mean you are not in my (and I assume all your readers') thoughts. your brilliant daughter has been keeping us updated, but i miss your insights as well.

24 July, 2009  

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