And now I feel so much scared from the situation here in my country and never dare to leave abroad, because, I worry about finding a respectful job, and worry about my kids' schools, and their future in a strange country with different social life and traditions. And I can't live more far away from my parents.
I sometimes, NO, all the time blame myself for that. Why do I live a life I dislike? Why?
I wish I can do something and change it, but I know I can't. The most devastating thing that breaks my hart is to live away from my parents, while I very much wish to share them every moment in my life. I want them, and need to be beside them, I wish
I could help them, to pay them back for their sacrifices and for everything they did for me. I love them and wish to show them how much I care about them instead of being so much busy in this life.
Visiting my sister is another thing that I did not try to do yet, she is my only sister and I didn't see her since she had left Baghdad four years ago. I did not see her second daughter, my dear niece, only through the internet.
I very much like social life but after years and years of loneliness and trials to find people that are friendly, I feel like I am not trying any more, although now I think I can find people that left Baghdad and settled here in Mosul, but I don't even try to make friendships. My excuse is that my husband doesn’t like confounding with people and I am tired from trying to convince him to change …