talk about my life as a young mother hoping to do the best for her children in spite of the life difficulies.As a Dentist I want to share you my occupational ticklers...

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Location: mosul, Iraq

I am a 37 years old mom ,I am a mother of 3 children. I am a Dentist. I try to make every thing perfect. The life I have, the difficulties I face make me anxious.. I like to have a social life; I cannot resist my feeling of being lonely, but I don’t have good social life, & I am lonely.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

unknown future


It is too hard to be afraid from the unknown.
What will happen? what shall I do? What is the proper way to guarantee my kids' future? to leave or to stay? Leave?! Where to?! Does leaving mean that I am an escapist or just a scared mammy?
This is how I keep wondering; thinking and asking my self, but I can't find the answers.
I very much want to be beside my parents, I don't feel ok with their staying in Baghdad. But how? I can't go there, and I'll not be that helpful!!!I wish that my parents can leave to Dubai to stay beside my sister, of course I 'll have no one close from my family ,but at least I shall feel more assured about their safety.
Things are getting worse and no one can tell how will the coming days be like.
For the first time my Dad tells me that he is no more confident, and that there is nothing promising at all, I used to get my power from my dad but now ,what?!

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Happy Easter .

Happy Easter , and best wishes to everyone .
May peace be all over the earth .

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Iraqi dreams gone with the winds....

On the third anniversary of the American invasion, I wanted to compare our sentiment toward the American soldiers. After the invasion we used to drive our cars behind the troops to feel safe and secured from those who may steel our cars, because of the absence of the police at that time. The soldiers were very nice and gentile with every one, specially the children. I still remember the throngs of poor children around the soldiers, who used to give them candies .we used to feel embarrassed because of them .Because we wanted to give good impression about the Iraqis. I remember how I wished that I can shake hands with all the soldiers to show them my gratitude .I used to stand near my kitchen's windows to see the troops coming, I used to pray for their safety. Although we were not having any signs of good ,and secured life. But I had hope and belief that we will have good life and that it was only a matter of time.
My daughter Sunshine was amazed by their courageous, especially when they liberated our neighborhood few months after the invasion from a group of terrorists who attacked the mosque and the nearby police station (you can read about that in this soldier's blog.). She bought a uniform similar to theirs as well a military boots and eye pieces. She tried to look like a soldier.
I remember a friend of mine when she went to a store, and the soldiers who were shopping at that store stepped back to let her do her shopping first.
I also remember sunshine's friend when she told us about her brother when his leg was scratched during playing in the children city, and how the soldiers were very kind to him and first aid his simple injury. She begrudged her brother, because he got all the attention.
I also remember the very very long queue of Iraqi young men , in front of the Americans ' cantonments, looking for jobs.
My mother described the feelings toward the soldiers' debuting In Baghdad as a mixture of astonishment because of the quick collapse of sadams'regim,and a feeling of shame because an extraneous army reverted the regime and not the Iraqis , and because of presence of an invaders on our land. She said "all the neighbors were out side their houses watching the soldiers walking through the neighborhood, with a sight of bewilderment. Some of the neighbors gave them flowers but not all of them; others offered juice to the soldiers. But the majority was only watching".
From the first day the discomfort started when the Americans did not stop the depredation, my father's friend tried to defend one of the official institutions, when he went to the American soldiers asking them to stop the robbers. But the soldiers asked him to go home, if he is not interested to have some of Saddam's booty. He asked other soldiers, but they told him that they did not have orders to stop them. At once he phoned my dad and told him that this army is an invader and not a liberator.
Suddenly after the peaceful relationship between us and the soldiers, things began to completely change dramatically, we started to witness explosions in the streets either cars loaded with bombes, or mines left in the middle of the roads, and the Americans reaction is usually random shooting toward the walkers and many many civilians died since then. As well as robberies, and murders became the usual day threats. In other words "Complete absence of safety measures". We started to live in absolute chaos, and that badly affected the confidence between the two ,and what made things worse is that the American overstated promises , were not ascertained. We were misled, that we will have freedom, justice, sumptuous life, and we will see renovated Iraq soon.
I remember we were promised to be astonished by the difference within 6 months only!.
Now I can't find anyone optimistic about our coming days, every one is disillusioned. We live without electricity, fuel, gasoline, no jobs, no security, absence of all the priorities, the worst medical situation, although we all have high chance to be subjected to injuries or physical and psychological illnesses.
I always wonder what happened. Why? Who is murdering every Iraqi that work as translator, or pressman, or contractor? Who is behind relegating the doctors and the educated Iraqi citizens? Is it not possible for America to have power over that? Who is behind the assassination of many Iraqis every day? Why we became under the same as the Iranian governance? Why we are under an unversed government? We deserve to have peace after all the misery we had under Saddam's regime….don't you think?