Emotions....

talk about my life as a young mother hoping to do the best for her children in spite of the life difficulies.As a Dentist I want to share you my occupational ticklers...

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Location: mosul, Iraq

I am a 37 years old mom ,I am a mother of 3 children. I am a Dentist. I try to make every thing perfect. The life I have, the difficulties I face make me anxious.. I like to have a social life; I cannot resist my feeling of being lonely, but I don’t have good social life, & I am lonely.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

unknown future

Hi,

It is too hard to be afraid from the unknown.
What will happen? what shall I do? What is the proper way to guarantee my kids' future? to leave or to stay? Leave?! Where to?! Does leaving mean that I am an escapist or just a scared mammy?
This is how I keep wondering; thinking and asking my self, but I can't find the answers.
I very much want to be beside my parents, I don't feel ok with their staying in Baghdad. But how? I can't go there, and I'll not be that helpful!!!I wish that my parents can leave to Dubai to stay beside my sister, of course I 'll have no one close from my family ,but at least I shall feel more assured about their safety.
Things are getting worse and no one can tell how will the coming days be like.
For the first time my Dad tells me that he is no more confident, and that there is nothing promising at all, I used to get my power from my dad but now ,what?!
PLEASE DON'T TELL ME TO STAND UP AND TO FIGHT FOR MY COUNTRY, I CAN'T TELL WHO MY ENEMY IS?. I am just an ordinary mom.
Mama…

26 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My heart bleeds to hear all the Iraqui bloggers beginning to despair. It sounds like hell on earth with no respite> please try to stay safe.
starliz

20 April, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Should have left years ago...

What are you waiting for?

As they say in the US:

Get the hell outta dodge!

20 April, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

mama lovely mama please dont be despairite like this your words made me cry please stay strong cause i realy need to see you strong for me i will keep pray for us all to get rid of this and make you strong at least for a very weak girle like me

20 April, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Therein lies the problem-- the good people of Iraq do not acknowledge who the enemy is and will not fight him. Extremist Islam is the enemy or all who value freedom, it is to religion what Nazism is to nationalism. Its repudiation is not a repudiation of Islam, but that doesn't seem to be acceptable to the majority, so they acquiesce to the evil done in the name of Allah and surrender to those who would enslave them through their self serving interpretation of Islam. So be it, but you were given a choice and failed to take it. I hope it isn't to late, but fear that it may well be.

20 April, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Follow your tummy.

20 April, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel so helpless. I wish I could just pick you and your family up in the palm of my hand and transport you, like the old tale of the magic carpet, to a better place. All you can do is use your best judgement and take it one day at a time. Bless you.

20 April, 2006  
Blogger edyan7 said...

Salaam,

Dear Mama,

I feel for you. In hard time we do need something to hold on to, like what you have with your dad. Now you have to be strong for your family and for all of us, your friends. We will pray for you.

This entry really open my eyes.

20 April, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kill Us But You Won't Enslave Us

"The terrorists and criminals are targeting all elements of life and they target anyone who wants to do something good for this country…They think by assassinating one of us they could deter us from going forward but will never succeed, they can delay us for years but we will never go back and abandon our dream.
We have vowed to follow the steps of our true martyrs and we will raise the new generation to continue the march, these children of today are the hope and the future."


Omar and Mohammed in Baghdad

20 April, 2006  
Blogger Bassam Sebti said...

It’s hell… I am so desperate.

Please stay safe.

21 April, 2006  
Blogger Bruno said...

Mama,

That post was very scary indeed. My advice is not much for the problems you face, but here it is anyway. Go out and make friends with your neighbours, even if you don’t really like them. They will also be scared, and will be happy to have a friendly person on their side. Perhaps between you and them you might work out a plan of action if any trouble heads your way. You will be surprised at how strong you really are if you begin to take charge of events and not let things just happen. Best wishes, and stay safe.

21 April, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Mama,

You are far more courageous than I would ever be in this situation... I would have fled long ago. You and your family risk your lives every day to go to school and work and even just to stay in your home and country.

I can tell that your first priority as a mother, is the safety and welfare of your children. Do what you have to do to keep them safe, even if it means leaving the country...anywhere would be safer than Iraq...Jordan, Dubai, evem Europe...I don't know what choices you still have open to you.

Excuse me, please, for getting angry at someone (so conveniently anonymous) who would tell you, an innocent civilian Mom, to stay and fight "Islamic extremism". How does one fight what one can not even identify? It is not your responsibility to give the lives of your family for some pie-in-the-sky cause like this. Someone sitting safely in America at his/her computer has a lot of nerve to ask you to make such a sacrifice.

You have given enough... far too much, in fact, already. Go somewhere, anywhere safe, and watch your children play outside in the sun without fear. You all deserve it.

None of us who live in safety will ever understand exactly what you are going through.

An American Friend,
Judy

21 April, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This may not be a good time to ask this but would you mind writing some about how you raise your children. I've wondered about it for quite a while. I read Sunshine's blog and am amazed at what an exceptional child she is. I'd like to know how she got that way and how you learned to raise kids like yours. What's your relationship with them? Are you strict or lenient with them? How did they get so serious and disciplined about their school work? How do you get them to help you around the house...or just CLEAN UP THEIR OWN MESSES, for God's sake. Do you assign them chores? Do you reward them for doing them? How? Do you give them allowances? Do you ever punish them? How? Do they argue when you ask them to do something? How do you handle that? What's their relationship with their father? Close? Distant? Do you talk a lot with them? About what? Do you limit their playtime, TV time, computer time? Sunshine doesn't talk about pets. How do you feel about kids having pets? Maybe you could tell a little more about how you're raising your children.

Thanks

Charley. I'm an American

21 April, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would advise you to start now with the visa applications for the country of your choice.

You don't have to actually make a decision now, but you should start learning about the actual process for you and your kiddos.

21 April, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One more question: Do you kids fight with each other. How do you handle that?

Thanks

Charley

21 April, 2006  
Blogger In His Steps said...

My heart aches for you and the decisions that you face. Look within yourself and really ask yourself just what would be the safest thing for the children? It is hard to think of leaving a place where you have spent your life building your family. You want a future.
When I think of the future I always cling to the passage in the Bible in Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
You need to look to your faith to direct you. You need hope and a future. Perhaps near your sister in Dubai. That sounds like a wonderful place these days.
I will pray for your heart and decisions.
Kim

22 April, 2006  
Blogger olivebranch said...

If you leave Mama you have my support and so many Iraqis would agree. They would not see you as abondoning them and your country- they would see you as making a choice to save your life.

that said- I agree with anonymous (one of them) in that you should get your Visa's an passport's ready to go. You should be able to leave at any time you see fit; even if you never do.

Your children would love it- though hate it at the same time.

it is sad to here your father giving up, especially at a time when even I struggle to find an optimistic view.

stay safe my dear- and never forget:

we will all love you no matter what the choice you make.

Luke(y)

23 April, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mama: I am sorry that I don't have an answer to your question. I just wanted to wish you a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY and many more to come. You are such a wonderful mother.

25 April, 2006  
Blogger Jack B. said...

Mommy, I do not know what advice I can give you other than what has been said before. I know you will do what you think best for your children - even if that is leaving Iraq for a short time. The future of Iraq needs people like you and Sunshine and your siblings and whatever keeps you safe is best.

And by the way - Happy Birthday!

26 April, 2006  
Blogger Mad Canuck said...

Hi Mama,

As I've suggested to my other Iraqi friends, it's a very good idea to have a "Plan B". Have your passports ready, and enough money put aside to be able to transport you out of Iraq and pay your living expenses for a couple of months until you can get work. You may not need to use it, but it's good to have this kind of emergency kit ready just in case.

It's also a good idea to have a few options handy.

One major concern for you will be working in your profession. Dentistry is a regulated profession in most places, and for some places they'll make you go back to school for a year or two before they'll accredit you as a dentist. The good thing, though, is everyone needs dentists!

You may want to look at northern Iraq (Kurdistan) as an option. It's still part of Iraq, so you should be able to practice dentistry there, and in places like Duhok, it's quite stable, and I remember how much you guys enjoyed going there for vacation.

For your parents, have you thought of inviting them to Mosul to visit for a few weeks? Mosul may not be perfect, but it's in better shape than Baghdad right now.

26 April, 2006  
Blogger misneach said...

I hope you find solace in your faith and that you find a way out of this mess. Our prayers are with you.

28 April, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so sorry that you have to be faced considering leaving your beloved homeland. No one should have to be faced with this problem. You are your family are in my prayers.

03 May, 2006  
Blogger Bruno said...

What madcanuck said is true. There is need for dentists everywhere. The profession is highly regarded in the West.

04 May, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Breathes there the man with soul so dead
Who never to himself hath said,
This is my own, my native land!
Whose heart within him never burn’d
As homeward his weary footsteps turned
From wandering on a foreign strand?

Sir Walter Scott

When you leave, wherever you go, will it be trully home?

06 May, 2006  
Blogger programmer craig said...

Bruno,

Funny thing is, anonymous, that I agree with a lot of the sentiment that you expressed in your post. Iraqis must leave sectarianism behind. Unfortunately, sectarianism works well for an outside power that wants to divide and rule. We all know who that is.

I think you should get your wish, and US troops should leave. I just hope mama gets out with her family, before that happens. I find it kind of amusing in a macarbre way when you express sympathy for somebody living in the hell you wished on them, Bruno.

08 May, 2006  
Blogger binderpilot said...

Dear Momma:

I can't even begin to make sense of the situation that yourself and millions of other decent people in Irag find yourself in. I have erased this next sentence 20 times because I just can't find the right words through my tears, I pray that God will strengthen you and yours and keep you safe when you are surrounded by insanity and evil men.

10 May, 2006  
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25 June, 2006  

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