talk about my life as a young mother hoping to do the best for her children in spite of the life difficulies.As a Dentist I want to share you my occupational ticklers...

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Location: mosul, Iraq

I am a 37 years old mom ,I am a mother of 3 children. I am a Dentist. I try to make every thing perfect. The life I have, the difficulties I face make me anxious.. I like to have a social life; I cannot resist my feeling of being lonely, but I don’t have good social life, & I am lonely.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Sudden event...

Fear is the only feeling our kids experience now days under the new democracy, my house was badly damaged by exploded fuel tank close to my house, the suicidal attacked the nearby police station.
As a Muslim I thank Allah that we are unharmed ,and my children did not injured, that was a miracle, we were in the garden at that time, my 3 years old son wasn't out yet ,he was in the hallway, two wooden doors slapped him and many glass splints , he surely got terrified, and panicked but he wasn't even scratched. He is not like ordinary child ,he feel unsecured, he don't play in his room nor sleep in it ,because he don't want to stay alone, he keep following me in the house and refuse to stay alone in any room inside our own house even for few minutes. in the last two weeks four bombed cars exploded in our neighborhood .how can I make my children feel tenable , at least in my house? how can I, if I my self don't feel secured??..
At the time of explosion my little girl Miriam was alone in the laundry room in the back yard, where glass and the roof gypsum fell on her, with the most terrifying sound you can imagine .
at that time I experienced horror not just from the explosion, but I wanted to see everyone intact specially Miriam as she wasn't in front of my eyes.
I screamed ,ran and looked for her among the smoke, dust and debris..
After I checked out everyone , I started to examine my house ,my own paradise was unbelievably dirty ,the whole windows damaged and many glass darts were penetrating the walls and furniture. the doors were not only damaged but also split into two , the curtains pipes became arced , the fault ceiling felt down , incredibly the window type air-conditioner thrown out of it's place, everything was thrown here and there. dust and gunpowder as well as millions of glass splints is everywhere even inside our closets. that was unbelievable , we are ok!! ,no one was hurt, with shaking hands I did the most stupid thing ,(I think I had ever done), I wrote an sms to my parents who where in Dubai in a great family event , they went to my sister Rose , they were having lunch with my uncles who came from USA, Canada and Ajman after many years of exodus , I wrote to them" a car exploded near our house , the house is devastated, but we are unharmed". in such irresponsible words I simply ruined their great meeting at lunch and sure the few next days…god knows how awful I feel about sending that letter ,at that time the only thing that I wanted to do is to tell anyone that we were alive ,specially people who care, but without any thinking about the results.
of course they got panicked and upset , and they were far away , why scare made me so brainless and selfish?? .I don't know.
Then I started to enfold the blankets, and carpets and throw them out, it was really hard to start working with so much fear and pain ,I did not even know from where to start ,chaos was in all over the place. then sweeping and sweeping the glass, after 7 hours of very hard work we could only remove some of the rubbles ,we did not even had lunch, as dark started to fall down, we prepared a safe room to spend the night in together. my husband put some cartons on the windows and we all slept in the living room , my whole body was killing me ,we did not even had a bath, and slept so dusty . early in next day we brought workers ,over 20 workers worked all day long to repair the windows and other damages. In three days we almost finished the most important work.