talk about my life as a young mother hoping to do the best for her children in spite of the life difficulies.As a Dentist I want to share you my occupational ticklers...

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Location: mosul, Iraq

I am a 37 years old mom ,I am a mother of 3 children. I am a Dentist. I try to make every thing perfect. The life I have, the difficulties I face make me anxious.. I like to have a social life; I cannot resist my feeling of being lonely, but I don’t have good social life, & I am lonely.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Different life

Four years ago I had a very different life , peaceful one ,I could celebrate my and my kids birthdays ,the feast with my parents and my only sister, I used to visit my parents in Baghdad from time to time, in a safe way and never had problem in traveling, we used to have lots of plans together ,parties ,picnics ,visit friends and neighbors, do lots
of shopping, walking and have family gatherings. we had a wonderful life ,among family ambiance.

we did not have direct contact with the previous government, therefore ,we were safe from their harm. We were not allowed to disagree, or have an opinion against the government policy.
we had many problems like electric power shortage, and low salaries, but we were secured at our homes and anywhere else. we had normal life.
although I had no work at that time, and had financial problems ,but I had a better life than I have now.
we did not have internet or mobile phone services ,we were not allowed to travel round the world, or having any contact out side the country, we had limited health care services, and shortage in medications.
America decided to rescue us ,and to bring us freedom, and to bring us splendid life. because we did not taste the democracy yet ,we were very over credulous to believe in these promises.
What life did America give us?
-non secured life even when you say nothing with or against the many many political components.
-non secured life at home ,at work, in the street, in the hospital , in the church, in the mosque.
-neither the children nor the olds feel safe from so many's harm, from all sources of mischief's.
many innocents Iraqis are under arrest. -
-the number of the widows and orphans highly increased. And we lost so many citizens.
But we now have internet connection to communicate with our faraway families.-
we have mobile phones to check our family members if they were still alive.-
-I have a job now ,the road by which I reach home is now called " the road of death" it's unsafe road full of mines and ambushes.
-our salaries are much higher than before, they can barely be enough to buy the very very much highly priced fuel, to go to work and to operate the generators ,because we have no electricity most of the day, by this salary we can't rival the high prices of all kinds of goods.
-We are now ruing the limited health care that we used to get in our hospitals, on comparing the situation now, no medications ,no good doctors after they had left the country after threatens ,or left the whole world after being murdered.
-my family, my self and many Iraqis used to complain from the dirty roads, now we say at least they were paved and safe.
-in the past, many people round the world didn't know about Iraq, and the Iraqis, who were they?, what are their traditions?, religions?,race?,they knew nothing.
now we are described as terrorists, who cut the heads mercilessly, and consist of many rowed sects, and that we are people own the world oil, but are savages and not confided to own it.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

So what's your point? You miss Saddam because you were "safe" under his rule? So I assume you would agree the mass graves were only half full but the streets were clean. Your right America has not given you enough ... we have a perfectly suitable Constitution and Bill of Rights that should have been imposed on Iraq. Unfortunately America has not the will to control our own borders so I am afraid we may not have been much help in that regard. On the plus side we do have vast experience in the concepts of "rule of law" and "monopoly of violence" that hopefully will take root in Iraq. I feel very confident the violence currently plaguing Iraq was not "made in America" but of a more home grown variety caused by years of repression the "we did not have direct contact with the previous government" portion of your statement ... at some point Iraqis must take responsibility. How you or I perceive reality is secondary to the fact that ultimately there is only one reality.

12 April, 2007  
Blogger Original_Jeff said...

You have a common misunderstanding. America promised to remove the regime of Saddam and provide a framework for democracy. It has done this -- quickly and efficiently. The removal of Saddam was done in about 3 weeks with small loss of innocent life. Within 18 months, America and the U.N. facilitated a political process that created a constitution and had a referendum and national elections.

I would urge you to consider this thought experiment: Imagine if all 24 million Iraqis were physically exchanged with 24 million Germans. In other words, all 24 million Iraqis were put on airplanes and flown to Germany, and 24 million Germans were flown to Iraq. The Germans would settle in Iraq in exactly the same population patterns as the old Iraqis. Further imagine that the American soldiers are not changed at all. The same American soldiers stay in place in Iraq.

What do you think would happen? Do you think there would be fewer murders? Do you think there would be fewer beheadings? Fewere people with the skulls drilled with electric drills? How about a reduction in car bombs? Do you think the trains would operate better? Do you think the police would be more honest? Do you think the Germans would suddenly begin attacking American soldiers with roadside bombs? (40,000 American soldiers are living in Germany right now and have been for 50 years and there have been no roadside bombs!)

12 April, 2007  
Anonymous Wayne said...

Dearest Mama,

I believe that most of us know that there are millions of Iraqi people who are wonderful human beings who are suffering from all the violence happening in your country at this time.

I think everyone, including Iraqi people know that the vast majority of the killings that are happening there are being done by ignorant suicide bombers who think they will be martyrs and go to Heaven in they will commit their life to kiling innocent people.

I do not know what can be done to correct this problem. As I have said before, I wish that each city had honest police and national guard people who would know when a terrorist was going to attack and would put a stop to it.

Local police would be much more able to identify the enemies than the Americans are. I think maybe even the local police are involved in the killings.

It is my Prayers that all the evil actions will stop and innocent people can live in peace and prosperity.

Please be careful and stay safe.

12 April, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear sister...our prayers are with you..have faith, patience..this is a temporary realm...the steadfast shall be rewarded eternally.

12 April, 2007  
Anonymous 3M said...

Oh for God's sake everybody wake up! bringing democracy to Iraq? removing a dictator? father christmas?
This was never about Iraqis, they just happened to inhabit this piece of land, the war is between America and it's new found enemies the mobile and non country-restricted Muslim fundametalists, in order to keep the "average American and his Euopean / Australian mates " safe it is being conducted in Iraq and to hell with the "average Iraqi"
The policy is clearly working, no more explosions at "home" and only 3000 or so casualties abroad, everyone is OK.
Our problem is we were cursed with ex-rulere who were unable to deflect this slaughter from their people, unlike our neighbours who happily fed us to the beast in order to protect their own, and we were further cursed by our current Bremer chosen / illiterate voters confirmed rulers who are too interested in their own short lived lucrative jobs than the people. The Iraqi saying goes il ma ye3rif tidabeera hunu6ta takul sh3eera. If the farmer does remain vigilant the weeds will overrun his crop.

14 April, 2007  
Anonymous 3M said...

That should have read if the farmer does NOT remain vigilant the weeds will overrun his crop

14 April, 2007  
Blogger Original_Jeff said...

You are wrong!!!

If all 24 million Iraqis were swapped with 24 million Germans, I guarantee you there would be 95% fewer acts of violence in Iraq today.
That would happen for two reasons: 1) Iraqis are doing most of the violence, and 2) Iraqis would work together to identify and cleanse society of terrorists.

14 April, 2007  
Blogger Ripama said...


None of us are in your shoes. None of us can possibly understand the precarious predicament of your existance. But, I think all of us appreciate your sincere concerns, expressions and apprehensions. It is important that you keep contact with the outside world so they understand that you ARE human, and more than just a news story.

May God keep you and yours safe.

14 April, 2007  
Blogger gabriella said...


I've only just found your blog, and your daughter's, and I've been reading through your entries up until this present one. I'm so sorry that ignorant, hateful people have also found your blog and tried to make you feel bad for simply living your life, feeling what you feel as a result of it. Propoganda here in the United States would have people believe that all Iraqis are somehow flawed, are bringing this on themselves, but it's simply that: propoganda. And I hope you know that any thinking person in this country knows that to be false. And that we're keeping you, your family, your people in our prayers, and doing what we can to influence our leaders to help, rather than harm your country, people, and situation.

I'm so sorry, Mama. I'm sorry your life has come to this, that you have to consider the things you do on a daily basis: the safety of yourself, your family, if it's just better to somehow pick up and leave home, hoping for some place safer.

I'll keep reading, and keep you in my thoughts.

14 April, 2007  
Anonymous 3M said...

Original Jeff
We are talking about different subjects here, but I am no expert on Germans, but lets imagine you took the "Germans" living in Germany in 1935 for example and left them where they were without sanctions, without war, and see how much they loved each other and took care of each other.

14 April, 2007  
Blogger mama said...

to all readers, with respect to your opinions...
I don't miss Sadams' regimen ..but I miss the feeling of peace and I miss my family.,I very much miss baghdad..

16 April, 2007  
Anonymous Wayne said...

Dear Mama,

I am sure that most of the people who have been reading your articles for some time understand at least part of your feelings.

I am so sorry for what has happened and wish that it would improve immediately.

I know that you miss being able to visit your mother, father, sister Rose and her husband Ahmed and their two children.

I pray for you and all innocent Iraqi people every day and ask God to bring peace to you all.

Please do not feel bad about comments made by people who do not understand.

Stay safe and keep writing for us. It helps us understand what is happening there.

16 April, 2007  
Anonymous Raymond said...

To OriginalJeff,

If the US invade Germany for no reason, formed a government that consisted of German exiles, and continued to occupy Germany for 4 years even though most Germans want them to leave ... maybe adding 6 million Jews with the German population, I'm sure it would be the same situation.

Or are you one of those people that believe the holocaust never happened.

What right did the US have to invade and occupy Iraq? Absolutely NONE.

The US fuels the violence and creates instability by continuing to occupy people who did NOTHING to America.

16 April, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Britain and the USA did invade Germany, for precisely the same reasons they invaded Iraq. Saddam invaded Kuwait like Hitler did with Poland. The next step would have been Saudi Arabia like Hitler with France and all the other European countries that he overran. Remember the amount of foreign troops allowed on Saudi soil, stationed in Riyadh, to prevent this? Saddam was a threat to his neighbouring countries and stability in the Middle East and the rest of World. All he had to do, to avoid being invaded, was to prove to the International Atomic Energy Authority Inspectors that he had no WMD without being devious about it. That’s where all today’s troubles in Iraq started.

I agree the 30 coalition countries with troops there are fuelling the situation, but whose interest is best served if they left tomorrow? It would be like the Taliban in Afghanistan but instead of drugs and rugs they would have the revenue from oil.

If you are one of those people who think it was just about oil, tomorrow morning look in your breakfast bowl and try to figure out how your cornflakes got there.

Johnny, London

17 April, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Great posts, really. You are very articulate and get your points across well.

George Will said early on that the Iraqi's may not be able to produce the stature of people to fight effectively for freedom and peace. I have always supported Bush in this Iraq endeavor, and disagreed with George Will on his assessment, but maybe he was right. I hope not, but maybe...

17 April, 2007  
Anonymous Mustafa said...

Dear Mama,

I feel that I'm writing an email to my mother because I call her mama aswell. Well, I wanted to let you know that I appreciate your writings very much. They keep me updated with the ordinary life that my people are living. My parents are originally from Mousil, and I used to visit Mousil in Eids. I miss it and I miss Iraq. We left after the war, which makes everything you say to be true.

To go to politics, which I hate the most, I must say that I disagree with some of the ignorants that made comments about this topic. I believe that the US is responsible on all the mess that is happening in Iraq. And the US should do its best in solving it. I am not saying that they should stay, because I'm against the occupation of the US empire, but I think that the US should make a timetable of their withdrawal with handing the power to the Iraqi military. For example, handing Mousil to the people of Mousil and they would be responsible on controlling its security.

However, I wanted to make sure that some of the ignorants understand that it was the US that caused all the chaos in Iraq. They abolished the Iraqi army when they first took power. They didn't stop the looting that happened in the first days, in fact, the even encouraged it. I saw how they were opening the gates of minstries and official departments to the looters. Also, the biggest evidence which shows how the US caused the sectarian divisions among Iraqis, is that they divided the "leading committee" or "majlis elhokom" on religious and ethnic basis!! And ofcourse the Sunna found themselves abused because they did not get as much seats as they are suppose to.

I cannot give solutions because I did not cause the chaos. But I know that if the US army stays in Iraq, we will never find peace. According to international laws, Iraqis have the right to resist and fight the illegal American occupation of Iraq, and I know very well from the history of Iraq that Iraqis will never give up.

As a former CIA spy said "we did not know where we are going, all we knew is that the people will be more than happy for liberating them from Saddam's dictatorship" - I think invading Iraq was the CIA's most terrible decision.

Coming back to reality, if the US really cared about the people's rights under Saddam's dictatorship, they would have invaded Saudi Arabia and most of the arab countries that are pets to the US. But of course they will not even say a word to these countries, because the war on Iraq was not about liberating the people from Saddam's dictatorship, it was about making Iraq as a slave country, just like Saudi Arabia, Egypt, and Jordan.

May Allah keep you safe

18 April, 2007  
Blogger Noah said...

The same people who made Mama feel safer in her chains while they had the power are the ones who are now fueling the chaos of violence because they lost it.

It is not America who is giving her the horrible situations she now lives in, it is the brutal insurgents who are trying to convince the Iraqi people through fear to abandon democracy by making their new life of freedom so horrible.

18 April, 2007  
Anonymous Raymond said...

To Johnny in London,

Saddam was no threat to the region in 2003. The US and Britian invaded Iraq as an experiment to promote democracy in the heart of the Middle East. There was clearly no evidence of an WMD's or an Al-Qeuda link based on the information prior (or for that matter after) the invasion. BTW, everybody knew Saddam was trying to conceal the fact that he didn't have WMD's because he didn't want another war with Iran ... a war that Iraq would surely lose in the 90's.

Is democracy a worthy cause in a Stalinist country?

Sure it is ... but it would have been nice to have a coherent plan and it's absolutely irresponsible not to have one.

My response was about the idea that Original Jeff wrote that the situation would be different if you were to switch 24 million Germans and Jews in 1945 with the 24 million Iraqis today. I beg to differ. There seemed to have been some tension between the Germans and the Jews that may be similar to the secatarian killings in Iraq but perhaps Jeff has evidence to the contrary.

I mean, we're not talking as if 24 million Iraqis are running around the country shooting at each other and American soldiers. From what I've read it's nt even a million. Is all the violence happening the actions of 50,000, 100,000 or 200,000?

A lot of the violence that's going on in Iraq is meant to break America's will ... to get America to leave Iraq. The method that they are using is killing innocent Iraqis since they can't 'beat' the US one on one.

If that's the case, shouldn't the US counter that by planning a withdrawal? If the US presense is creating instability and the goal is to create stability then the US has no other choice but to announce a plan to withdraw and work for a political solution both internally and regionally.

A withdrawal announcement doesn't mean that it's set in stone. If violence continues to an unacceptable level after a couple of months after the announcement then the US and the Iraqi 'government' can decide not to withdraw. But as long as the US is committed to stay until violence decreases substantially, you could pretty much expect the continuation of what you see today.

If violence substantially decreases after a US announcemet to withdraw would be a step for Iraq in the right direction. Hypotheticals about regional conflicts after a US withdrawal will have to be worked out politically between all the nations in that region. Hell, a lot has to be worked out politically in that region.

18 April, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


19 April, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Thanks for that reply. I accept everything you say but I don't think it was an experiment. Remember for 13 years up until 2003 the US and Britain was protecting the Kurds in the north and the Shia marsh Arabs in the south with no fly zones. How long were we supposed to sustain that?

I heard an interesting interview, a couple of years ago, with Omar Sharif the Egyptian actor who played Dr Zhivago he said, “Arabs go to universities in America and England and they know how Western minds work but the West doesn’t understand how an Arab’s mind works.”

When you think of all the troubles in the Middle East over the years, where the West has tried to help, maybe we have been flogging a dead horse (wasting our time).


I know one thing you worry about, apart from all your other troubles ;-), is how the outside world perceives Iraqi people and I would just like to assure you that, in England, I have never heard a bad word said against them. Their kindness and hospitality is renowned. Believe me.

I remember seeing a documentary on Iraq in the 90’s and the Iraqi cab driver who was poor and so grateful that the film crew had given him the job of ferrying them around that he took them back to his flat, where he lived with his Mum, and gave one of them one of those long shirts (Thobe) from his wardrobe as a gift. They tried to refuse it because they knew he was poor but he insisted. On the wall in his bedroom was a Liverpool FC poster because he was football mad and that was his dream team. About six months later, to his surprise, they returned unexpectedly and reduced him to tears when they presented him with a Liverpool shirt signed by the whole team and a videoed message from Kevin Keegan, who was his idol. It went out on prime time British TV.

How’s that long lost Sister of yours? Crept off to Dubai, got rich and doesn’t want to talk to us anymore. ;-)

Johnny in London

19 April, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I told you after 8 years of war and bombs, the Iraqi people would be free would any of this be worth it? Think of the generations to come and imagine their freedom - the freedom to travel, to start your own business, to speak your mind, etc. America has these freedoms and we are not perfect, but it is much better than the alternative.

The Americans have not promised to give you this freedom without cost. We are here to help you attain it, but your people must be willing to fight for it.

Is it worth it? YES!

19 April, 2007  
Blogger deborah said...

My dear friend,

I too am a mother of a 14 almost 15 year old. My husband is Iraqi and we live in Nevada.

I went to visit my husbands family before the first gulf war and I must say that Iraq was simply breathtaking. It breaks my heart to see what has happened to it and to its beautiful People.

I created a slideshow of peace to share with you and others suffering. With all the negative energy coming to Iraq from across the world, how can it heal.

I wish to bring you thoughts of peace and hope that it is possible that one day Iraq will heal and become whole. If we can picture it in our minds, we can make it happen.

Sending you and your family warm smiles,


my blog is http://indigodaisy.com

19 April, 2007  
Blogger Ripama said...


The US didn't create the mess just so we can see the Iraqis, and our own, become casualties of war, we created out of ignorance or perhaps overconfidence.

In any case we inadvertently moved the terrorists timetable ahead for the inevitable, which is more scary than the current conflict in Iraq. If you don't accept that explanation look carefully at the news of terrorism around the world.

20 April, 2007  
Blogger David said...

I love the blog that you have. I was wondering if you would link my blog to yours and in return I would do the same for your blog. If you want to, my site name is American Legends and the URL is:


If you want to do this just go to my blog and in one of the comments just write your blog name and the URL and I will add it to my site.


21 April, 2007  
Blogger bruno said...

What's very interesting to note is the attitude that all the chaos that has occurred since the invasion of Iraq is not the fault of the INVADER, but that there is something wrong with Iraqis instead.

This complete arrogance and disregard by America for what Iraqis want or think is merely one of the factors that have made the current disaster so great.

Even now you are getting trolls in your comments section that suggest that the disaster is not so great and is actually worth it (as if they can see Iraq better than you yourself) and that it is the fault of Iraqis, (who never did anything to provoke the invasion) that things are so bad.

These people are completely deluded and are deceiving nobody but themselves.

25 April, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think everyone, including Iraqi people know that the vast majority of the killings that are happening there are being done by occupation troops and their supporters who think they can get a way with it just becouse Bush is in office.

25 April, 2007  
Anonymous 3m said...

You reminded me of this documentary of 1998, at the time this is what I wrote about it.

An appropriate name

I watched a programme on TV last night called the Minders (BBC2 21:30 UK) 45 minutes of bittersweet reality, a programme ranking way ahead of the majority of British media coverage of anything coming out of Iraq

It told the stories of two Ministry of Information employees, Kiffah and Alla’a assigned to “watch over’’ foreign correspondents and photographers covering events in Baghdad.

All programmes like this bring back memories, the good and the bad, the familiar streets, the taxis, the twinge of pride on visions of our brand new and empty international airport, the painful scenes of mothers wailing for their dead babies.

But more than this here was a portrait of the human beings behind the stereotype, the programme amazing the world with revelations that Kiffah is an avid football fan and remembers numerous golden oldie English players, indeed one of his wishes is to meet Kevin Keegan, and Alla’a greatly appreciates a pop cassette with such greats as (I get knocked down….. then I get up again…. ain’t never gonna keep me down…..! which perhaps appropriately becomes the background music for the programme).

As the tale unfolds the bitter realities of Kiffah’s life are seen, he is an out of work English teacher, his mother disabled after a fall on one of the darkened nights of the world v Iraq air raids, his brother a POW from the Iran Iraq war since 1982.

He invites his English guest to his house, apologising for the missing furniture that has been sold and explaining that the posters of his football heroes were used as fuel during the same old air raids, and
In a moment of un-prompted and un-fathomable generosity he gives his guest his dishdasha (we later learn that had he sold it the proceeds would have fed him for a couple of weeks)

Kiffah is sacked during the making of the programme, but insists on paying for dinner with his English guest, he the unemployed who has already sold his furniture and watch, you sense that his guest doesn’t know what to say to Kiffah’s explanation that to please his guest is enough.

But perhaps the most poignant moments are those uncensored unedited moments of bare pain and as we’d say (hirga) when he tries to answer some of the questions he’s asked, in reply to the query about wanting to see London again? he answers” I’d love the see all the world but as a free man without restrictions and not as a refugee’’, to the question are you proud of Iraq? Kiffah takes a long pause before answering”…. Shouldn’t I be? I think it is my duty to be proud’’.

Throughout the film the recurring theme from Kiffah is a polite plea that the truth be told, “Tell the world about us, we are not all criminals’’ he says sitting at a football match, ‘’Many people see the truth but few tell it all,’’ when they see a procession of children’s coffins being driven down the road Kiffah says “Now the world will know the truth…… if you tell them what you have seen’’
“What will you tell the world about Kiffah ‘’he asks, the journalist says “He’s just a guy trying to survive in very difficult times’’.

Kiffah wants the world to know the truth about so much.

It was a sensitively made documentary, and above all Kiffah did us all proud, if we had but a few Kiffah’s as ambassadors to the world maybe Iraq wouldn’t be in this mess now

I am glad you remeber the generosity, I remember his wish that the world see the truth, a wish that has yet to come true.

25 April, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The US dismantled the Baath government of Iraq and created a failed state and ineffective puppet government made up of Iraqi exiles who are just as clueless about what to do in Iraq as the Americans. They also imported Salafi terrorists from other countries to inflict more chaos in Iraq. How the hell did the US think that removing the security structure of the previous government and replacing it with nothing was going to be good for the security of the Iraqi people.

Given the choice between the anarchy that the US create and law and order of a totalitarian government, I'd rather choose the latter. At least with Saddam, you had a secular government where the rules were defined.

26 April, 2007  
Blogger Rejected said...

Thanks for speaking out about our feelings. Those who don't get it, **** them.

P.S: You'll receive a lot of "You love Saddam and You Are Ba'athia, just ignor it. They still don't get.

30 April, 2007  
Anonymous jamal said...

you report very bad things. i hope it will get better for you soon.

30 April, 2007  
Blogger bruno said...

Jamal's right. Eventually you hit bottom, and then things can only get better.

03 May, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just got a data plan on my mobile. I pretty much do not need my computer anymore since I do so much with my mobile phone. The neatest thing is that I can even watch naughty movies:) It is pretty neat, it's called Mobile TV. All I do is point my phone to sexoncell.com and they have adult mobile movies in different formats like 3gp movies, symbian, pda or whatever. If you have any other cool sites, please let me know! This one, though, even has a free daily mobile movie.

04 June, 2007  
Blogger timtom said...

I would what would happen-if all iraq-mom's and school girl's carried gun's -shoot 1st-ask questios later--just a thought-question??

01 September, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is for anonymous...the very first comment to your post.

Well I wonder if your attitude has changed any since April.

Mama has this wonderful blog as a way to stay in touch with the world...and I believe it also gives her an opportunity to vent about how she is feeling.

I am not Iraqi...I do not live there, in fact I am Canadian. However, even I feel the pain and rage she speaks of.

Saddam Hussein was horrible...and I think mama agrees with that. Perhaps her point is, that even as terrible as he was...life was better than, and I think she is probably right.

I am sure she enjoys having you read her blog...but perhaps it would be kinder of you, to not continue to expound on the virtues of the Americans. Its pretty darn hard to see thier virtues from her standpoint I think.


24 September, 2007  

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