Emotions....

with one hand.....for a while

2010-04-16T09:03:00.000-07:00

After the election results that did not please many extremes ,the situations in my country became really worse and not promising. I am so terrified and feel sad and pessimistic ,worried what if those terrorists , thieves ,Slovens will return to the leadership?, being in such a miserable condition my right hand was broken and I feel so worthless ……………can,t help my people nor do my home work and take care of my kids. They have to take care of me, and that is not a good feeling .
mama

WHY?

2010-03-03T06:46:00.000-08:00

my uncle sent me this , share it with me
Amazing what they get away with isn't it.....

Question: Which country alone in the Middle East has nuclear weapons?
Answer: Israel.

Question: Which country in the Middle East refuses to sign the nuclear non-proliferation treaty and bars international inspections? ?
Answer: Israel.

Question: Which country in the Middle East seized the sovereign territory of other nations by military force and continues to occupy it in defiance of United Nations Security Council resolutions?
Answer: Israel.

Question: Which country in the Middle East routinely violates the international borders of another sovereign state with warplanes and artillery and naval gunfire?
Answer: Israel.

Question: What American ally in the Middle East has for years sent assassins into other countries to kill its political enemies (a practice sometimes called exporting terrorism)?
Answer: Israel.

Question: In which country in the Middle East have high-ranking military officers admitted publicly that unarmed prisoners of war were executed?
Answer: Israel.

Question: What country in the Middle East refuses to prosecute its soldiers who have acknowledged executing prisoners of war?
Answer: Israel.

Question: What country in the Middle East created 762,000 refugees and refuses to allow them to return to their homes, farms and businesses?
Answer: Israel.

Question: What country in the Middle East refuses to pay compensation to people whose land, bank accounts and businesses it confiscated?
Answer: Israel.

Question: In what country in the Middle East was a high-ranking United Nations diplomat assassinated?
Answer: Israel.

Question: In what country in the Middle East did the man who ordered the assassination of a high-ranking U.N. diplomat become prime minister?
Answer: Israel.

Question: What country in the Middle East blew up an American diplomatic facility in Egypt and attacked a U.S. ship, the USS Liberty, in international waters, killing 34 and wounding 171 American sailors?
Answer: Israel.

Question: What country in the Middle East employed a spy, Jonathan Pollard, to steal classified documents and then gave some of them to the Soviet Union?
Answer: Israel.

Question: What country at first denied any official connection to Pollard, then voted to make him a citizen and has continuously demanded that the American president grant Pollard a full pardon?
Answer: Israel.

Question: What Middle East country allows American Jewish murderers to flee to its country to escape punishment in the United States and refuses to extradite them once in their custody?
Answer: Israel.

Question: What Middle East country preaches against hate yet builds a shrine and a memorial for a murderer who killed 29 Palestinians while they prayed in their Mosque.?
Answer: Israel.

Question: What country on Planet Earth has the second most powerful lobby in the United States, according to a recent Fortune magazine survey of Washington insiders?
Answer: Israel.

Question: Which country in the Middle East deliberately targeted a U.N. Refugee Camp in Qana, Lebanon and killed 103 innocent men, women, and especially children?
Answer: Israel.

Question: Which country in the Middle East is in defiance of 69 United Nations Security Council resolutions and has been protected from 29 more by U.S. vetoes?
Answer: Israel.

Question: Which country in the Middle East receives more than one-third of all U.S. aid yet is the 16th richest country in the world?
Answer: Israel.

Question: Which country in the Middle East receives U.S. weapons for free and then sells the technology to the Republic of China even at the objections of the U.S.?
Answer: Israel.

Question: Which country in the Middle East routinely insults the American people by having its Prime Minister address the United States Congress and lecturing them like children on why they have no right to reduce foreign aid?
Answer: Israel.

Question: Which country in the Middle East had its Prime Minister announce to his staff not to worry about what the United States says because "We control America?"
Answer: Israel.

Question: What country in the Middle East was cited by Amnesty International for demolishing more than 4000 innocent Palestinian homes as a means of ethnic cleansing.
Answer: Israel.

Question: Which country in the Middle East has just recently used a weapon of mass destruction, a one-ton smart bomb, dropping it in the center of a highly populated area killing 15 civilians including 9 children?
Answer: Israel.

Question: Which country in the Middle East routinely kills young Palestinian children for no reason other than throwing stones at armored vehicles, bulldozers, or tanks?
Answer: Israel.

Question: Which country in the Middle East signed the Oslo Accords promising to halt any new Jewish Settlement construction, but instead, has built more than 270 new settlements since the signing?
Answer: Israel.

Question: Which country in the Middle East has assassinated more than 100 political officials of its opponent in the last 2 years while killing hundreds of civilians in the process, including dozens of children?
Answer: Israel.

Question: Which country in the Middle East regularly violates the Geneva Convention by imposing collective punishment on entire towns, villages, and camps, for the acts of a few, and even goes as far as demolishing entire villages while people are still in their homes?
Answer: Israel.

mama

I began to lose that feeling..

2010-02-27T03:42:00.000-08:00

After few weeks of using the eye drops prescribed by the doctor in Baghdad, my intraocular pressure became lower. The doctor said I have benign high intraocular pressure. but still don't know why I had this high pressure , I have no family history, but recently I was going through a very stressful life.
I usually have my best time in Baghdad ,the city I used to love and find peace among its people , the city where I was born , raised and spent my lovely childhood in. But in the last few years I began to lose that feeling of being in my charming lovable place, there are different faces there , it's people are gone, and another population is there, they dress differently, they are not educated , and have weird beliefs.
When I visited Baghdad this time, the whole city's streets were blocked , the officials couldn't reach their jobs, because people are walking in the high ways just like if they where hypnotized ,they come from deferent parts from Iraq walking to karbara to weep there or pretend to weep on a man know to be killed 1400 years ago!!!!!!! he was a great man and he must be shame of them and of their deeds.

Dangrous democracy

2010-01-28T10:56:00.000-08:00

Hi ,
My daughters are in their spring vacation now , we are going to Baghdad, in fact we were not sure it's a good idea .these days the situation is not promising. it swings according to the mood and controversy of the politicians .therefore it's obvious they are not in a good mood as many cars exploded to kill hundreds of innocents in front of the whole word in the name of democracy. Any way what made me decide to go to the Baghdad is to seek a medical advice hoping to find a good doctor not yet killed or left the country. My intraocular pressure is high and I may need an operation. so you see we need your prayers to stay safe , and find some medical help, it won't be easy believe me.
Mama

Back to writing ,probably!!!

2010-01-12T11:14:00.000-08:00

Hi , after a long time I wanted to write again maybe I can empty my chest from the pain and sorrow I feel .it is very hard for me ,to live without hope ,it makes me ill all the time ,powerless and sad.
But I have responsibilities toward my family ,specially my kids and that need motivation which is so hard to find, and makes me try so hard to do my best for them ,but still it's the least I can do, with such a spirit.
My country is on fire , it's running toward dire future, it's people looks different after those bloody years .I feel stranger in my country.
mama

Hard times ...

2009-08-27T10:50:00.001-07:00

Since last April I have been really sick, I had to take large doses of steroid ,I gained weight, my face lost it's lineament. I suffered from bad pain ,depression ,difficulty with awful pain during swallowing, insomnia, fever , and many other signs. I remained sick for 4 months .i lost hope to get better because of the terrible symptoms.
Now I recovered, returned back to my work and to my normal life.
During my sickness my daughter was studying really hard preparing for her final high school mistrial exam. this exam's results define her future .she had commanding history during all years in school , she always get high and full marks, besides she has good highbrow background. All her teachers and lecturers expect her to get high marks. she studied very hard read so many references , therefore she did great ,was confident, and we all were expecting not less than 95% par. during my sickness I stayed sitting beside her while she used to study for about 13hours a day.
When the results were announced in internet ,they were shocking, my daughter's par was 85.8 % .
Sunnis students marks were robbed by the democratic government (that Bush and his army) brought to bring justice..........
Mama..

How do you spell "GET THE HELL OUT"?

2009-03-06T05:08:00.000-08:00

Hello read this with me and try to understand iraqis
Mama..

The Iraqi Resistance Responds to President Obama

Rafidan The Political CommitteeBaghdad The Republic of Iraq
Statement in Response to President Obama’s Remarks made on the 27th or February 2009 regarding the proclaimed ending to the occupation of The Republic of Iraq.
Official English Transcript Release No: 57
March 02, 2009 "Information Clearing House" --
Good Evening,
In Respect to the remarks of President Barak Hussain Obama, The president of the United States of America. The Political Committee of a number of factions in the Iraqi Resistance, mainly the factions present in our front, respond with our point of view on the contents of his speech.
Over the last four months, as the battle of our people continues to free Iraq of all foreign occupation. We have been studying the movements on the ground as well as analyzing the intelligence in order to assess the next strategy that the US administration will take under the leadership of the new presidency.
We had formulated our own plan of action based on the above mentioned, but have chosen to give the new president enough time to gather his thoughts and have a suitable amount of reports & briefings that would give him also a good picture of the daily developments on the ground.
President Obama, After listening to your speech on the 27th of February 2009, in which you declared your general and public understanding of the ongoing war against our people, and gave your military and the honorable people of the United States brief points on your intentions in our country, we felt the spirit of the speech that your predecessor President JFK gave on the 20th of January 1961, on his inaugural address. In this speech, he offered a turbulent world, a way out of tensions and paid with his own blood for challenging the interests of those in your consecutive governments who hold the true keys to power. Those who would do anything to preserve their interests, wealth, & power to create wars & conflict.
We mention this with great honesty in hope to spread awareness and remembrance that a new Caesar may be betrayed, by his own, if he chooses to follow a different path. We do believe, on the other hand, that the spirit of the speech was well chosen.
We have listened well to your economic plans for your country released before this speech as well, and as ambitious as it may seem, we believe that if intentions are genuine within your congress, a considerable number of what you seek will eventually be fulfilled, but in case of failure, the republicans will be looking for a scapegoat to relate all their failures to. In this case it would be your administration. This will guarantee them a fast comeback.
You have inherited a nation at war, a failed economy, and a desperate people who are bearing the full brunt of an economic crisis that was not of their making. As well as thousands of young men dead and handicapped.
We have inherited a foreign occupation, endless counts of innocent dead, injured, and handicapped, millions of refugees, in essence, Mr. President, the complete and planned disintegration of our nation and people.
We believe that the funds wasted in this war would have been more useful if it were spent on research to develop alternative energy, which no doubt would have reduced energy conflicts, cures for cancer, agricultural solutions to prevent worldwide poverty, advancements to develop Africa, where people still die of starvation and intentional neglect. Endless causes, all in need of immediate attention.
By the will of God almighty, the resilience of our men, and the patience of our humble people, we have so far managed to halt and render useless all imperialist agendas set for Iraq and the region in whole. Simply by choosing to resist occupation, a right guaranteed by God first and then by international conventions to all men. A right your country’s policies continue to disrespect and dishonor, in clear example to state sponsored Terrorism.
You have spoken to our people in part of your speech, and we thank you for these words, you have displayed a far better understanding our nation, than your predecessor, who preferred to dive deep into the oceans of illiteracy and ignorance. Despite the fact that you did not mention the Iraqi resistance in your speech, and chose to label us as terrorists along with those who arrived with your troops, we will set that aside for now, and mention a few facts for the record.
1- The people of Iraq whom you addressed, in all their sects colors and religions, refuse your occupation, and those who accept it, are those who benefit from it.
2- The Iraqis you addressed, as we truly hope, are not the ones who bathe in the riches of treason, behind your walls of the green zone, nor are they the likes of Ahmed Al Chalabi, whom your previous government conspired with and his likes from the dark alleys of 5 star hotels in the US and Europe prior to your occupation.
3- The Iraqi people you talked to, are those who never invited your occupation, and were trying their best to survive on what was possible, under the criminal sanctions that went on for 13 years only to be crowned with a foreign occupation, unmatched in criminal acts, in today’s modern world.

President Obama, The suffering, that our people had to go through is beyond comprehension. And the endless crimes of your troops as well as that of neighboring countries, cannot simply be undone or dismissed, nor can they be brushed under the carpet. Your troops still occupy the land and kill the innocent, that is why we can only address you as the president of an occupying nation.
The Iraqi People are disappointed in your plan. They expect your troops to leave our country in full and not in part. Our people, seek a complete end of occupation and not the fulfillment of a strategic treaty that was rushed against the will of our people, in the last few days of your predecessor.
Our people, as well as the majority of people around the world, and in your country, want to see the last president be presented to an international war crime tribunal for all the crimes he has committed in the name of your country, only to benefit those who brought him to power in the first place.
We have never invited your occupation, nor have we asked your country to steal our country’s resources to benefit your corporations and to those neighboring states which historically fall under your influence. We have never asked you for your precious blood or ours, to us, all blood is precious even that of the your soldiers sent by your government to die not knowing what they were truly fighting for. This has to be addressed to the man who started this war, and is hiding now in Texas, while you try to undo his damage.
We the Iraqi People and their resistance demand the following:
1- The fulfillment of all the conditions presented to your government through the mediators you
Sent in 2006.
2- The hand over of all the traitors & Collaborators in the green zone to the Iraqi people where
They will be dealt with as any nation would do with in cases of high treason.
3- The full & just compensation for our people for the losses they have suffered.
4- The halting of all compensations paid to those who fall under your umbrella in the region from the resources of our people.
5- The return of all land stolen from our country.
6- The departure of all foreign corporations mainly in the sectors of energy, communication, & infrastructure rebuilding, specifically those linked to Neocon interests. Our people are more than qualified to rebuild and operate our institutions.
7- The hand over of all mercenaries accused of killing innocent civilians mainly security contractors in Black Water and their CEO to be tried for murder.
8- All foreign advisors are to leave Iraq with your troops.
9- The dismantling of all militias equipped by your country and Iran together to shift the nature of battle towards the sectarian nature in order to allow your troops to concentrate on the major resistance activities in the central region of Iraq.
10- The halting of all support to the sectarian government elected in the orchestrated elections in the green zone.
11- The reduction of the influence of your Persian allies in Iraq which your previous government worked with in close conjunction and who continue to fund Al Qaeda on behalf of your intelligence agency’s behalf.
12- The return to the old constitution of a unified Iraq. And the Upholding of new elections
Within 6 months of the resistance taking power of the nation, this will be supervised,
By must be conducted in the presence of a number of credible international monitors. Not the ones
Sponsored by the CIA.
13- Cities and provinces are to be handed over one by one starting with the four main cities and airports of Baghdad, Basra, then Mosul and Kirkuk in the same order. The rest will fall immediately in our hands. The borders will have other arrangements.
The list goes on, but the intention is to give you an idea of what we pledged our people to achieve. In return for our people’s demands, we will cease to attack all occupation forces withdrawing to the south and beyond the border post of Safwan.
Without these straightforward moves on your part, we regret to inform you that the resistance of the people of Iraq will continue until that last boot of US/British/Persian occupation is thrown across the borders of our country.
If you choose change as you claim, then you must have reached the conclusion that to continue dealing with the same people your predecessor appointed to fulfill his dirty work, will fail to deliver positive results for both our people. It is not the thieves of the green zone who brought the defeat of your military.
You must search further for the honest Iraqis and from the ranks of our people and not those of your collaborators to achieve a just solution. You can also recognize the right for the Iraqi people to resist and publicly ask for our advice and representation. The Iraqi people intend to be masters of their own house as they always have, and by following the plan you have declared, you have not yet fully understood Iraq well.
There are those who will claim, that a quick withdrawal from Iraq will cause civil war, and that is a possibility, but we would also like to clarify that the forces of the puppet government which has been equipped to defeat the resistance will not stand ground, nor will they block our efforts to liberate our cities one by one if we had to, and all the efforts of your collaborators to move to the north and south of the country and create their own federal states have been studied well for their weaknesses and will be crushed within a short period. This is a more realistic scenario. True there will be still the Persian occupation which will offer it’s militias support, but we know that the US cannot leave the oil rich south to be occupied by Iran, and they would rather see it fall in our hands instead. As it would be giving too much to a close yet not so trust worthy ally, and would deprive your military necessary funds that would support long-term military presence necessary in Iraq and throughout the region. Funds that some in your government think they can still rely on. Funds that your economy can no longer bear in the midst of the turmoil in the globalized economy of your nation, to control the world.
The Iraqi resistance understands well that the US could not continue to sell oil at a high price
of 120 USD/Barrel to cover the costs of it’s war, as this strengthens old adversaries. And it would be only a matter of time before this tactic backfires on the US foreign policy. But it also understands that the US cannot fund foreign occupation any more without depending on local resources and revenues to cover the expenses. This is the true cause of the change of “Strategy” as you named it President Obama.
With oil prices falling to their true realistic market values, & the winter ending in the consuming economies, the oil prices should fall to 30 USD plus mark, which is also effecting the local economies of your allies in the region, as anything below 55 USD per barrel, is already becoming a burden on these economies, which in turn can no longer assist to their full potential in funding and supporting the costs of US aggression in the Region.
The Declining of oil revenues, which we truly thank you for mentioning in your speech, will make it more difficult to fund your military’s operations in Iraq, and that is why the numbers of your troops is to be reduced. To match the income predicted from the oil projects sponsored by your corporations in the south and the oil theft operations run by your agent, Hamid Jaffar in the north of Iraq in collaboration with NGO oil of Norway, is what your strategists think is possible.
Yes President Obama, we do agree with you, that the US needs a smarter, more sustainable & comprehensive approach, but rest assured, that what your predecessor has failed to achieve with all the military might at his disposal, we will make sure that you will fail to achieve the same goals through the soft hand of the Democratic party.
In fact, it is more logical and practical to follow the alternative energy programs that you have set wisely, to ensure the non reliance of your economy on oil as well as the utilization of advancements and added fruits of R&D to employ the unemployed, and support a new and young market for the shift in energy dependence, and in turn end the monopolization of energy, practiced by the corporations that control it and control world political and social stability, than to merely dream of expecting the Iraqi People to hand you over their resources.
We on the other hand intend to nationalize and use our resources to build an alternative energy base our selves and offer our people a life of prosperity, & stability, as well as supporting the energy transition of other nations that are oil dependant, a task we truly believe is noble and worthwhile.
The Iraqi Resistance will not accept any short term or long term energy contracts with the US until we ensure that the rights of our people are properly addressed. And within the parameters of relations based on mutual respect first and mutual interests second.
President Obama, It is time that people in Washington understand that there are no shared interest between an occupying tyrant and an oppressed victim of occupation.
Your government would have stayed forever in Iraq if the traitors who conspired with your consecutive administrations had their way in starving the Iraqi people into submission and force them to welcome your occupying troops with flowers as Chalabi promised you. But after three wars and over a decade of sanctions, there were enough honest men to defeat the world’s most powerful army & play a major role in destroying the most imperialistic Globalized economy ever developed by expansionary capitalism.
These are the type of people you are speaking to Mr. Obama. And if you were not presented with this reality throughout the briefings that occurred, and understood the true scale of the economic disaster with all the social and geopolitical implications of your military defeat in Iraq, then please allow us to mention a few of the major achievements that the Iraqi Resistance have promised it’s people and the free people of the world and has delivered:
1- We promised to pin down your troops in Iraq and drain your economy until you admit defeat and withdraw your troops. And this we fulfilled.
2- We promised to halt the US plan for Middle East in full, and prevent the loss of other innocent lives in other neighboring countries, and that we fulfilled.
3- We embraced the war and continue the fight on behalf of all the oppressed world, which not only stood still and watched the massacre of our people and the illegal occupation of our nation, but many of it’s leaders participated and continue in harming our people inside and outside Iraq and assist in the theft of our resources. This, apart from the support of honest people all around the world,
4- including citizens of your country, who marched day and night to support the cause of Iraq’s right to resist, marches that defied the weather, and weathered criminal defiance and ignorance of world politicians. Marches that we will ever be indebt to, and in gratitude & in appreciation for. May god bless those people wherever they are. And this we fulfilled and continue to do so.
5- We have understood the nature of international balances of power and most importantly predicted the primitive mind of the occupation and played a major role in forcing the US to increase oil prices in clear desperation for cash. And use that to allow other powers to recover. And the numbers never lied, this we also fulfilled.
6- The Iraqi People wrote a new chapter in Urban warfare, and invented the art of remote combat, and in turn gave the world lessons and set a new standard in how to defeat the world’s most powerful army. In this, the most dangerous achievement that threatens US global influence is that all the oppressed people who suffer from negative US influence, can use this experience to free themselves as well. This also has been delivered.
7- The Resistance has already drafted its 2, 5 and 10 year plan to engage Iraq in rebuilding programs that will set a new standard for development in the Region and restore Iraq to it’s rightfully earned place in world politics and positive human development. This while maintaining Iraq’s isolation from harmful neighboring countries at the same time, these plans was prepared and drafted in the early months of 2007 and are ready to implement once we see the end of your occupation.
8- The resistance created a new battle field and utilized every tool available to break free of the corporate media and tell, inform, and educate the world of the true nature of the struggle, and present every curious man and woman daily reports and videos of your military’s defeat and in every language possible. People from all over the world, chose out of their own free will and time, people of different religions and backgrounds chose to be soldiers of the cyber wars and translated all what we had to tell, asking nothing in return but the truth. The true casualties of your war are yet to be declared. (We refer to the green card soldiers)
9- The resistance has sparked not only the collapse of the US economy, but also caused the domino effect and the destruction of your fine tuned and delicate Globalized economy, and forced the return to national economic protection, and the rights of local and regional economies to grow and ensure a decent life and practice their right to develop as well. All your efforts to restore the globalized economy will deliver nothing of value, and puppet governments that maintain your oversight of world resources will eventually fall, one after the other, as their faults will be more evident to their average citizens, and that is why you are now receiving daily reports, from the CIA about the world economy.
ALL THE ABOVE, AND YOU STILL CHOOSE TO IGNORE THE RESISTANCE OF THE IRAQI PEOPLE AND THE RESISTANCE OF THE GLOBAL ALLIANCE OF THE FREE, WHICH WE INTENT TO PROPOSE TO THE WORLD AS THE NEXT STAGE OF FREEING THE PLANET FROM YOUR DOMINENCE WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT.
ALL THIS SAID, AND THE GLOBAL MEDIA WHICH YOU STILL MAINTAIN CONTROL OVER STILL LABELS FREE PEOPLE AS TERRORISTS AND EQUALS THE RESISTANCE OF OCCUPATION WITH CRIMINAL ACTS OF STRIKING CIVILIANS IN BUILDING AND TERRORISING THE LIVES OF THE INNOCENT.
TRULY IRONIC !! Nevertheless represents the true state of shock you policy makers have reached. But all can be reversed if you truly believe in Change Mr. President.
The resistance along with the votes of the peace loving people in your country and choice of the world
Who brought you to power, are more than capable to pull you down and defeat your new strategy, if you choose to lie to them and follow the plans of your predecessor.
You must understand that the time when your foreign policy bullied and bribed people into submission is over and for a considerable time. And your politicians and strategists have to understand that to be accepted as a superpower you must first learn to speak to the world with modesty and respect that others in this planet, also have the right to provide for their families a decent life, the right to food and water, the right to education and knowledge, the right to industry and employment, and free from your corporate despotism.
We in the Iraqi resistance, renew our pledge to our people and to our brothers and sisters in the global family, to continue the fight and struggle to free Iraq and give our allies the chance to follow suite.
While you were preparing your new strategy in leaving the streets and highways of Iraq to your collaborators, and hiding your troops behind the walls of the castles and green zones you have prepared for your minimized long term presence, we have been preparing to address your new tactics and will deal with them in the proper manner.
Remember, that hiding behind and holding castles is no longer sustainable in modern warfare!
Your finest fighting force as you name it, is up against the most witty, resilient & innovative self-propelled resistance honorable humanity has ever presented. Rest assured that we are not impressed with your plan and will follow your movements on the ground and cross examine them to your declared intentions and daily economic reports. There is no such thing as friendly occupation, and we advise you to revise your plans to vacate Iraq at a time suitable for our people and not suitable for your agents in the green zone.
And if you need to talk to honest Iraqis, then you know very well, where to find them. John F Kennedy also said “Let us never negotiate out of fear, but never fear to negotiate”
You choose to negotiate with all the parties that worked for your predecessor and have caused all this harm, yet you choose to ignore the only true party that can offer you a decent outcome.
Good Luck President Obama!
Radfidan

Baghdad

2009-02-22T09:00:00.000-08:00

Going to Baghdad, seeing my parents, and having a great time with them inside their sweat warm house, having fun with few neighbors there, going through the elections, all that was good and very refreshing to me after along time .BUT seeing Baghdad in such a strange environment, seeing strange faces wearing black, having strange traditions that I had never seen in the place where I was born, all that ruined my happiness. Besides seeing our neighborhood there almost empty from the previous residents broke my heart and I couldn't accept the new situation. I even didn't join my parents and kids while walking in the neighborhood. The new residents bought the houses in about 5 times the prize that made me worried, and wonder why? Who are they? From where did they have that money? They paid Milliard dinars for each house?.(1000$ for every cubic meter).WHY?!
Those new residents put ridiculous flags and phrase on the outside fence which is very high and hiding behind it the whole house. My parents' neighborhood, where I was born and raised was for high class educated people, unlike now.
A friend of mine told that he rarely see young men there, in every grocer shop he only sees an old man and/or woman shopping!!! And that is also noticed in so many places in Iraq especially in Baghdad. The youth are not there anymore they had gone..
Mama..

miserable and lost mama

2009-01-07T10:40:00.000-08:00

NO, NO WAY., I can't believe things are going to be better for Iraqis. After seeing what is happing to Palestinians in Gaza and to Iraqis, and the whole world is watching with silence and cold blood, that killed hope and brought all memories back to my mind. Since I was 9 years old I witnessed the Iraq -Iran war, I remember the virulent inroads, the alerting alarms. I remember how my mom was worried all the time about my uncle (her youngest brother), he was like many many young Iraqis in the middle of the war zone. I remember some people that had died or had been captives for years, so many victims that had neither choice nor chance to refuse their predestinations. Then Sadam put us in the worst situation when he attacked Kuwait, after that the sanction came to torture my people, life became tough, many families even the educated ones had to live under the border line of poverty. The functionary's salary became one dollar per month. This situation continued till 2003, the Iraqis were exhausted when the Americans occupied their country, that's why some of them including me whished that this OCCUPATION could bring in somehow hope (I feel shame to admit that) .but that was wrong. And the killing and the iniquity became crueler, unbelievable and beastly. Our children saw very horrifying circumstances, heard the worst stories of murders and horror. I know my biggest responsibility toward my kids is to offer them protection and security, and assure them the best future, after all what I am doing and suffering for them I feel very miserable and lost, I don't know what to do! Leaving Iraq is very horrifying. How? Where to? What shall I work? How can I live among strangers?, Without family? , Friends? NO, I CAN'T. But what about my kids' future?!!!!I wonder what they would choose.
Mama

Without windows

2009-01-01T09:20:00.000-08:00

After fixing our house following the last explosion, the situation became much worse in our neighborhood, we were hesitant about leaving the house for the children's safety but

the house could become a cache for the terrorists. Besides we don't know where to go and for how long!!, we have several important possessions, we should take with us; therefore it wasn't easy to decide. We discussed the situation with some neighbors, none of them decided to leave.

Now whenever we hear a gun shot we expect an explosion and house destruction, the shooting is very often, and therefore we feel tension all the time, the first few days we couldn't sleep even my 4 years old boy. He holds his torch during the night instead of holding his bear and other moppets, sometimes he screams, cry and ask if the windows would blow out. We leave our bedroom's door open, it's next to his room but he still cant's feel secured while he hears shooting all the time.

All mothers in every place and time worried about their children, whether they are hungry or not!, feeling cold or not!, sick!, worry about their future , and if there is some one could harm them. But to feel scared for their safety is the most difficult feeling. We demanded the authorities to secure our neighborhood but no one listened, I sent emails to any one can help, military forces, the governorate, the hot line, but we are still in the same situation .my husband and father in law wanted to do something to protect us from the broken windows, sure I now feel less scared from passing in front the windows, but it will drive us crazy, have a look by yourself.

Mama

The fourteenth of December

2008-12-20T23:13:00.000-08:00

Sad and happy events happened at the first day at work after
Eid, at about 9 am, we knew that a very famous prof. surgeon was shot, he is also the dean of the medical college in mosul .we were all shocked and awfully sad and did not know how serious his injuries were, and whether he was still a life or not!!!. Many famous surgeons rushed to the emergency department and immediately undergo seplenectomy, we heard the details of his condition and everything happened in the operation room and our emotions were swinging up and down during his operation, feeling very frustrated and praying for him all the day .his medical students, colleagues, relatives, neighbors, nearby shop owners rushed to donate their blood. I returned home depressed with bad headache and immediately had a long nap to escape from the reality. I did not leave my bed till noon time to prepare dinner .TV was on, when I read the subtitle news about the Iraqi journalist that throw Bush during his conference with his shoes. But I didn't see the video. During dinner I told my daughter, but she didn't comment. While I was talking with her, BD the Iraqi blogger sent me an SMS telling me that Bush was humiliated in an unbelievable way, and telling me that he was looking for the video in the internet and TV channels. In fact I did not have time to look for the video as I had to wash the dishes and watch my favorite series (gray's anatomy).next day at work every body was talking about bush and the brave Iraqi journalist, telling jokes and poems, there I saw the video in my mate cell phone, my daughters came back home with funny jokes and stories. And we kept seeing the video over and over.

"Asia cell" the company of cell phone services made large profits during the last few days because large no. of Iraqis were exchanging SMS jokes about Bush.

Mama

Personal confessions..

2008-12-12T10:19:00.000-08:00

I consider my self as a coward when it's concerned about taking decisions that is life changing. I live in a place that I don't like and never dare to leave to Baghdad. Because I don't want to separate between my husband and his parents, as he is their only son.
And now I feel so much scared from the situation here in my country and never dare to leave abroad, because, I worry about finding a respectful job, and worry about my kids' schools, and their future in a strange country with different social life and traditions. And I can't live more far away from my parents.
I sometimes, NO, all the time blame myself for that. Why do I live a life I dislike? Why?
I wish I can do something and change it, but I know I can't. The most devastating thing that breaks my hart is to live away from my parents, while I very much wish to share them every moment in my life. I want them, and need to be beside them, I wish
I could help them, to pay them back for their sacrifices and for everything they did for me. I love them and wish to show them how much I care about them instead of being so much busy in this life.
Visiting my sister is another thing that I did not try to do yet, she is my only sister and I didn't see her since she had left Baghdad four years ago. I did not see her second daughter, my dear niece, only through the internet.
I very much like social life but after years and years of loneliness and trials to find people that are friendly, I feel like I am not trying any more, although now I think I can find people that left Baghdad and settled here in Mosul, but I don't even try to make friendships. My excuse is that my husband doesn’t like confounding with people and I am tired from trying to convince him to change …

Mama

So depressing....

2008-12-06T03:14:00.000-08:00

Hi
I will not celebrate Eid with my parents in Baghdad; they will celebrate it alone with the rest of the neighbors and very few relatives that did not leave.
I already feel lonely without a family, Eid spirit is only sensed among the family. But I can't go there; it's a long hard journey among many troops of military forces.
I visited Baghdad last July, I was happy to be with my parents, among some friends and neighbors, but felt angry and sad to see Baghdad with so many concrete barriers, and so many check points in civilian neighborhoods, so many soldiers here and there that made me feel uncomfortable. See those photos and dream to live in such a DEMOCRATIC capital, and even if you stay at home you will sit in the darkness or spend most of your income to have power.
Anyway Those walls by them selves are dreadful and depressing, it was necessary to do some thing to make them bearable. Iraqi painters found their own way…have a look….
she deserves to have a better wedding with pride and dignitygoing to school is not easy the walls themselves are so depressing but the iraqi painters had their own way to manage

Mama........

worth reading

2008-12-05T06:46:00.000-08:00

my uncle sent me this after I published a previous post about Obama ,share it with me, it worth reading .
Mama
Edna Canetti wrote this for MachsomWatch. The piece was translated from Hebrew by George Malent.. A Plea from IsraelCome, Obama, Change My Life By EDNA CANETTI
CounterPunchNovember 6, 2008
Obama my dear, they tell me that you are going to change the world. Do me a favor, come and change my life personally.
Come to Israel, grab its stupid leadership by the throat and take its foot off the neck of another people. Come and force us to do what is clear, and written, and fitting, and necessary, come and get us out of the Territories, if necessary do it with a smile that reveals million-dollar teeth. If necessary bare your teeth and force us to do it.
Make it so that I don't have to get up in the morning – I who hate to get up early, to go to the checkpoints, to watch and to weep. Make it so I will not have to see 19-year-old children who have been duped into believing that they are d efending the home front by pointing rifles at five-year-old children.
Make it so that when my daughters take a shower for half an hour I don't have to think about Ayad's family from Awarta that puts buckets under all the washbasins in order to reuse the water which is more precious than gold. Because the settlements need the West Bank's water more than the Palestinians do.
Make it so that when I sit in a traffic jam I don't have to think about the vast numbers of cars that are standing at the entrance to Tul Karem while each one is checked by soldiers and dogs because there has been a warning that they're about to blow up Tul Karem.
Make it so that when my sister urgently rushes to the hospital to give birth and when I rush my husband to the hospital practically with red lights flashing, I don't have to think about the women giving birth and the heart patients and the wounded people who are stopped at the entrance to Nablus because their vehicle has no permit to enter.
Make it so that when I see a soldier in uniform on the street I do not wonder what he did last night. What house he entered in a "Straw Widow pr ocedure",* what boy he beat up in the alleys of Hawara because he smiled the wrong way.
Make it so that in the morning I don't hear the satisfaction in the voice of the radio newsreader who relates tha t the IDF has killed six terrorists. Oba ma my dear, this autumn I did not go to the olive harvest. It didn't work out. Please make it so that I will not suffer from pangs of conscience because I am not doing enough. That I am living my own good life, pursuing my career, while for the other people just to get home safely is a career in itself.
Please relieve me of this pain that I have all the time deep in my belly. It never lets up, I can never really enjoy life, children, friends or work, because my mind is preoccupied with the image of the shepherd in Baq'a standing by the locked gate and shivering with cold because the redhead with the key has not showed up, and the bound blindfolded boy, and the three-year-old girl who got hit on the head by the carousel at the checkpoint, and the barriers of dirt and the concrete blocks that stop the lives of so many people from flowing smoothly.
Come, Obama, come and save us from ourselves.
And if that is what they mean when they say you are not a friend of Israel, then don't be a friend. We have already had friends who arm us and justify every horror we carry out and save us from the international cou rts. Be a true friend. Save us from ourselves. And don't do it for the world, do it only for me, so I can have peace. You owe it to me. I do not believe in God but still I prayed for you. =0 A

for the seventh time

2008-12-05T06:05:00.000-08:00

Again my children had to go through a very scary situation, when a huge earsplitting explosion destroyed so many things in our house, within a second the windows, the doors were blown , the curtains were thrown torn dusty and full of broken glass. We were so lucky and blessed to stay alive and intact.But terrified. As a mother I can't find the words to describe the fear I had at that moment when I saw my little girl unconscious. She lost consciousness after her sister brought her to the corridor, we were examining her body to see if she was injured, but she was ok except simple scratches on her arm and with indescribable horror. When anyone sees the damages in our house realizes how lucky we were and how merciful god was when he protected us. I kept thankful all the time, even during removing the damages and all the broken glass, my kids are the most precious of all. BUT I am afraid from the coming.
You can see what happened through the photos.

Mama

New hope or....

2008-11-23T09:53:00.000-08:00

People in my country wonder about the consequences of the new American president ,Obama ,on their future !!!Some believe that could bring hope, and could put an end to the American occupation. Others believe the withdrawal of the ENEMY'S army could make things worse, and Americans have to correct their huge mistakes before leaving. other Iraqis believe the new president ,will not change the Americans strategy in Iraq or in anywhere else , he will complete the policy but maybe in different way , without dramatic changes But everyone believe that Israel ,the main American's allay will not allow any alteration that may concern israel's stance.
Mama

Hard

2008-11-07T10:04:00.000-08:00

''Hard to understand" and" hard to imagine your feelings" are common words come as comments from some dear readers, but have great effect to show me how they do care and understand. May Allah respond to your and our prayers for peace.
Lately Iraqi Christian citizens were threatened and forced to leave their homes and hide in some villages out side Mosul and in Kurdistan. That made me so much angry and afraid from the coming consequences. wondering who will be the next terror's victim?! what is happening to the children and all innocents in my country under day light?! and what will be the reaction of the Iraqis toward relegating their Christian friends ,neighbors ,and workmates? How do those citizens feel toward other Iraqis now? why their children can't go to school? Of course ,I did not expect any response from our numb government. And I felt useless .
In my work we have a dentist that had to leave her house so quickly after she got serious threatening , she even didn't have time to take her important belongings , and left to outside Mosul to rent a small apartment. at work every one donated some money ,and we bought some food stuff ,blankets , electric heater and some other impotent things. And two mates visited her and gave her those provisions. they said she hugged them , and cried for so long. she had only some rugs , that the red cross organization brought them.. her daughter is attending the village school temporally
After a month of suffering most of those refugees returned to their work because the government refused to give them furloughing , what a clever and responsible way to help them!!!.
My eldest daughter saw the hailing of her teacher ,by the other teachers and students, she described all the hugs and tears that she saw. She said that every one was so much thrilled to see her back. she also talked about a woman came and greeted this teacher and told her that half of her house was destroyed when terrorists blasted her Christian neighbor's house.
Mama

More ......

2008-10-21T11:25:00.000-07:00

Hello, After wonderful days with my parents who came to spend Eid with us, the situation in Mosul began to show succumbing. brutishly Christian Iraqi citizens were threatened , attacked and many were killed without any reason, and 2000 families were forced to leave their homes in their own country ,to stay in countryside ders, and camps. or rent houses out of Mosul .then things began sinking so badly many explosions ,car bombs and assassinations took place . my house was among the losses. again our windows doors and some other damages had to be fixed. But what about our emotions? it can't be repaired? the fear, everything was ruined in our life can't be restored. This time the explosion's shrapnel were very close to hurt my dear four years old son ,who was playing in the garden, enjoying the nice autumnal weather .after a long hot summer ,playing with his bike. seeing my kid ,fine with no any scratch made me feel so dumbfounded. I went through some time of unrecognizing what's happening around me and stayed silent with my little boy in my lap, I was not foresighted at all. that was so weird .i never had this reaction before ,I swear I couldn't perceive things around me,every one in the family started to check our damages, they were talking but I was not concentrating and so not realizing anything .my eldest daughter told me things I said, and did but I still can't remember ! .

Mama.

Different meanings ...

2008-09-22T10:34:00.000-07:00

I found that the words give different meanings among the nations of different languages, if that wasn't true, it means the president of USA and the American government is lying ,cheating the Americans and the whole world. Let me explain my crazy idea.presedent Bush keep talking in his speeches and interviews about reconstructing Iraq after it's "liberation", while we, the Iraqis, find our country destroyed completely after it's occupation, though we got rid of the X- unjust regimen. He also keep talking about the new Iraqis life and describe the new democracy WE suppose to enjoy ,while our jails are full of innocents, Because America and our democratic government fail to catch
terrorists , murderers and those who threaten our lives along the day hours. Instead of seeing Iraqis happy and enjoy peace and opulence in their" liberated "country, they leave it under menace, specially the educated citizens . Under Bush campaign to develop the hospitals and the health field in general, things not just became worse but even controlled diseases became threatening diseases like cholera!!!!!!.Besides cancer, infants cretins and so many strange health problems.
Sure many things increased in unbelievable way since Mr. President bothered him self to" liberate" us, now we have millions of orphans, widows, even more than any country in the gulf area. And millions of immigrants. Thousands of tragic real stories. he even made miracles, he made the citizens of the richest country in the whole world live in poverty, the richest country in owing the world's oil emendals , live almost without all types of power, believe a life without electricity in 2008, under so hard weather circumstances, extremely hot in summer , with sand storms because of the absence of green cover in the most fecund land. And very cold weather in winter when the temperature drop under zero, imagine a life in such freezing circumstances without heaters, hot water. and the students study in their icy classrooms !!!!.
Ahh, we lost so many beloved relatives and miss them badly , because of this war against terrorism, but still governed by terrorists that steal our souls, wealth , country and every valuable thing in our life..
Mama…

To liberators ?!!!!

2008-08-16T02:24:00.000-07:00

So many things changed since YOU AMERICA invaded my country to liberate us from our live. last Saturday I attended a friend wedding ,this wasn’t the first wedding that I see or hear about without a groom.!!!!!. such an unbelievable things began to be common in my country, this is all because of the hard and dangerous circumstances. just try to imagine the couples feelings. when they can’t enjoy their wedding together, which is the most important event in their lives. The groom’s mom cried so many times during the party because her son can’t attend his big day, he is a doctor ,lives and taking his Msc in England, his doctor parents are worried about the bride visa, for how long they might live separated during their honeymoon or more further!!!!.
my people are suffering in every life field, specially the educated citizens, the government that is supported by AMERICA, trying to spread and encourage the backwardness . many strange idolatrous rituals, appeared in my country, we didn’t know before AMERICA’S liberation ,wonder if this is the brighten future that America brought us!!!!.the government allow those who weep the thousand years gone imams, in the streets, and also stop the traffic and close the roads for them. not just that but also make curfew in the capital Baghdad for the weepers safety. ignoring all the citizens life matters, business, and the country financial losses , due to paralyzing all life issues , to weep. leaving the country reconstruction, and instead steeling and straying it’s wealth.
What shall I do, where shall I go? I want a better life for my children, they deserve to live in peace, and to get good education, they deserve to have fun , and enjoy their live, they deserve to live the recent century , and not live in the darkness without electricity ,and in the backwardness without knowledge. but leaving my country, my friends and family is not what I want. I can’t.
When I was in Baghdad I saw only the eldest family members , friends, and neighbors. No young cousins nor friends, they all left for safer places. it was hard to see that ,because life is tough for those senescent ,my dad for example has to bring fuel to the generator and stay for hours in the queue , or buy it from the black market in high prices. he has to maintain the generators many times as they almost depend on them with the absence of electricity most of the day. he has to do shopping and drive to work in a very chaotic and dangerous roads. He is supposed to be retired, in this age .but has to work as life is very expensive. and his pensionary salary is low. although he is an engineer ,with Msc from USA,and served the country along his life with honesty .
Mama..

Amnesia

2008-07-19T11:08:00.000-07:00

Summer started; the hot weather is back again, with no electricity all night long and most of the day. It's very hard to sleep sweated with difficult breathing. two weeks ago and after a sizzling night I woke up with bad spasm in my neck, and pain in all my body. I went to work very tired and found it difficult to concentrate,I had to re-write the patient prescription many times and ask the patient to repeat his complains and symptoms .then at the end of the day I had hypotention,and took the next day off.
I dislike laziness and like to be active, but I can’t bear the hot weather. Now and after two weeks in July I feel even worse ,I forget things ,can’t give attention ,and very much feel anomalous in managing things. I started to wonder what’s happening ,and looking in the internet about amnesia ‘s causes. I found that it happen in young people if they are worried, going through fearful life or situation, need to sleep well, if they have depression. and in anemic patients. I now know the causes and I have them all.
I believe those who are behind depriving the Iraqis from electricity very much know it ‘s effect on people, and want them to be tired and dizzy, without thinking about what’s happening around, and so America and our government can steal the Iraqis ‘ wealth and quibble with their future.
Take care and Sleep well
Mama

There was no Baghdad..

2008-07-15T09:33:00.000-07:00

I went to visit my parents in Baghdad, I did not see them since December . I felt really depress and homesick so I decided to make them a visit with my kids and two dentists friends. The road was secured by 85 check points ,they were polite ,although they asked very stupid questions “where are you coming from?, where are you going?, do you have weapons in your car?”. I wonder why do they expect armed men to admit their direction, intention, and belongings?!!!!!.
Anyway when we reached Baghdad, the streets were crowded, the driver switched off the A.C ,the kids were exhausted. the very first sight that upset me and filled my eyes with tears , was the large no. of beggars in the streets, they were old women under the burning sun , with four or five years old skinny kids.
I reached home, the electricity was off, the generators’ noises were everywhere, my mom came out to welcome us, she was very happy, and took the kids into her arms ,while I was bringing my bags.
Along my staying in Baghdad ,I was watching what is happening there, the roads are walled with concrete walls hiding from view; the stores. the only thing every one sees is concrete walls, all streets look the same. it was frustrating , to see my beloved Baghdad like that.
What the government is doing to rebuilt Baghdad is taking care of the side walks ,and importing it’s tiles from Iran and Turkey, leaving the roads unpaved, and very badly damaged , the country is without electricity, but the government imported street lights with sun cells to power it by the sun power , they simply don’t understand the pollution problem that will interfere with the sun cells performance.
It was very obvious that the people are very tired from the situation, the lack of electricity, lack of fuel, the costliness ,and the loss of hope. the No. of people leaving Iraq is greater than ever. I had to farewell a very dear family, I felt that Baghdad is not the same and it's empty. I missed it's lineament, and missed the very large No. of friends , neighbors and relatives who either left abroad or dead.
I swear that I needed to scream from anger many times, but who will listen and care!!
Mama

Driving in my country

2008-06-16T10:28:00.001-07:00

Imagine a crowded street with no traffic lights ,without (or almost without) traffic police ,even when there is a policeman he has no power though no control on the drivers. Imagine that the roads can be closed suddenly, others are crowded ,with wrong side coming and going cars .Sometimes Hamars or tanks with continuous horns’ sounds. craziness all the time , fear of accidents , explosions ,shooting, and car bombs .
That’s exactly what you can see a live in my country’s streets .
Over and above , the no. of the cars is more than the roads can assimilate.. that’s why I don’t drive . It is so scary ,the driver need to be completely concentrating ,on all directions ,must stay calm and endure humiliation from others for no reason.
my sister drives in Dubai. my mom used to drive in Baghdad but not any more.
I have to look for some one to drive me all the time.
Enjoy driving in your country and obey it’s rules.
Mama

Um al-rabeain..

2008-06-01T04:18:00.001-07:00

Hi there ,
Um al-rabeain is the name of the new operation in Mosul to clear it from al Qieda .it started with 5 days curfew ,we remained stuck at home

We spent the time doing different things but still the time was so long .
I myself started to read Bremer”s book about his one year stay in Iraq, I played music a lot on my keyboard , did some house work like cleaning the windows, spent some time chatting with my family and wrote some posts and articles.
yoyo like to play in the garden but I keep worry about him it’s not safe even in our own garden, but my boy hate to stay all the time in our small apartment .he want to run ,play with his ball, and bicycle .
Mariam’s exams were postponed .she is upset because of that, she want her summer holiday to start .but she is ok,spent her time playing with Yosif ,doing some beautiful hand made work, she is also fond of puzzles, and spend time doing wonderful templets.
my husband and his dad did some house repairs ,he also like to listen to the news a lot and to watch TV .specially action movies that I hate.
My mother in law is so scared and worry a lot she spend most of her time listening to the news which I personally don’t trust.
Sunshine is studying for the next year . she like to spend time with the computer, watching certain TV shows ,helping me in the house work ,and some times cooking delicious meals.
I think most of us gain some extra weight because we eat when we get bored ,specially in the long afternoons.
After a three weeks of um alrabeain we can see the difference in the security situation although not all the time .
Our house was inspected three times during the first week of the new operation. but the soldiers were polite and only checked our identities and our house and cars’ papers. with very quick look on part of the house at each time.
About Bremer’s book that I am reading ,it helped me a lot in treating my hypotension ,but I try to read a little and when my blood pressure raise and have flushing face, I stop to listen to music or play music myself, to calm down . he wrote to the world about leaving his paradise to come to our hell to rescue us. any way it’s too early to judge his book after reading 50 pages out of 496.may Allah help me to read more pages without having a stroke.
Mama

Someone should care ..

2008-05-13T06:13:00.000-07:00

Hi there
This is what new born Iraqi infants inhale immediately after birth, this view is 6 meters away from the delivery hospital .although it could be replaced by nice river view as the river is directly behind the garbage, but who cares. ?! the government? the Americans ? the hospital’s staff?. None.

Mama

it is all about trust

The old day may come back ...

2008-05-10T04:06:00.000-07:00

Hi
We had good celebrations this month ,we celebrated my 37th birthday, went to 2 picnics with my work mates and lately we celebrated Yosif 4th birthday.
My kids really had fun specially in Kurdistan, in the northern part of Iraq, with 44 doctors ,dentists and some families. They saw brilliant views ,enjoyed lovely weather and accompanied the most amazing Iraqis who made the journey interesting, fun and showed us how Iraqis have the spirit of entertaining.
my work mates are from different Iraqi cities but all are great in generosity, manners, kindness ,and companionship.
We enjoyed every single moment, even the bus driving times ,the views were gorgeous and everyone was singing, with so many laughter , I had the old feelings back when I used to live in Baghdad ,where laughter and fun is the character of it’s people unlike the life in Mosul where life is taken more seriously. I felt like I am among a big family ,everyone loved everyone, all were helpful, amusing ,and cheery.
Peace is an amazing feeling we went through ,my kids were walking ,playing and running away from us with out scare .they saw people dancing in the bus ,casino, street and enjoyed the sound of music and beautiful Iraqi songs instead of shootings and explosions’ sounds.they saw how Iraqis are alike and are harmonious unlike what the media reveal that Iraqis are fighting each other.
Seeing Yosif and Mariam in the dream city for the first time made me blissful, they were having the best time they ever had.it was the first time I see my husband singing and patting ,so calm and accommodating. seeing my family In such happiness gave me hope that the old days may come back soon.

Mama

Iraqi children have no rights ......

2008-04-18T08:35:00.000-07:00

Every day early in the morning ,in my way to work I pass by a building under construction, what amaze me is the no. of children that work among the builder staff ,they are so young for work and specially such a hard and dangerous work. it sadden me every day. they must be the breadwinner for their families to leave their schools .
of course those workers have no social assuredness ,it’s against the international institute for child rights and development. We are supposed to be one of the richest countries and so many children have no rights ,why? we are so much different than other Arabian gulf states!!!!!!
Mama

Reasons why Iraqis leave their houses

2008-04-11T11:30:00.000-07:00

There are many reasons to make Iraqis leave there own houses.
just try to imagine leaving your own house suddenly.
Raffi's family left home because every corner reminds them about their loss ,and induce pain . they see Raffi in his room ,on his chair, every where causes grief for them. they left their memories and their own house behind them and rent another house.
Others may leave their house for the same reason or because of danger either direct threatening, or dangerous neighborhood.
Sometimes the terrorists captivate the house and it's owners, so in any chance, they leave to stay alive.
In the other hand the military forces may hide in citizens house’s to watch the surrounding areas or to make an ambush for someone hiding nearby.
Some may leave the country or their town to look for a job or to work safely without blackmail..
But the American government and president Bush talk about their big achievements in my country, where we find nothing but fear ,losses, pain, and threats. no safety , no electricity, no tap water in most of the cities , lack in all kind of services even health services , nothing but the worst schools and education , no jobs, no human rights.
Mama

Raffi

2008-04-05T05:21:00.001-07:00

This is Raffi's sister letter, to you ..

Raffi is the friend we lost ,and I referred to him by "v" in my previous post.

Mama .

"I am an university student in the collage of pharmacy, a daughter of a small and highly educated family, the youngest sister of one single brother and a kind married sister, we live in a city named “ Mosul” in Iraq, in a simple house among kind neighbors ..Being the youngest, my family deal with me in a special manner, and I love them in an incredible manner, specially my brother, we were more than sister and brother, we were close friends, each of us was ready to sacrifice his soul for the other, he was so kind guy, funny, lovely, so faithful, fair, ambitious, had many aspirations also he didn’t hurt anyone even by a word.He was a graduate of computer science collage, of Baghdad university, he changed his job many times due to security circumstances, and he was unable to find a job suitable with his experiences, at last he was working in a shop of so kind people, he loved and respected them a lot, his work place was dangerous but he had to work, to live and arrange his future.As all Iraqis, he was always worry about the worsening situation which was life threatening and danger exists everywhere.On 18/3/2008, I woke up early to go to collage, unlike everyday, I left home without seeing and joking with him, because I was in a hurry.. during his job that day, a car-bomb exploded in his work place area and a metallic splint penetrated his clear and kind heart directly… by this way, I simply lost my only brother who was everything in my life, and till this moment I don’t know why or what was his guilt to die in this young age !When I knew about his death, I didn’t believe, until I saw him in the woody tomb, he was so white, sleeping as angel, also was smiling to me … we kissed him for the last time, and knew he went to heaven, because he was faithful, fair, kind person, also he died as a martyr ..My parents became so weak, simply because they lost oldest and only son who was to held the family name, was to make his own family, was helping my daddy in this life, and was everything for all of us.Sure I was sad too, and I found myself in a hard stance, I didn’t know what to do!! Although all of our neighbors, and friends helped us but it was hard for us . I cried till my tears finished, I became so sorry on all members of my family too, I was very worry about their health, then I started to think logically and found that I am lucky to have a brother in heaven, flying with angels, near our GOD as all innocents people in this world, also I am lucky to be surrounded by true friends, postgraduates, and undergraduates, kind Dr.s who teach me, and helpful people .. also I found that I’ve to be strong to be able to carry my family’s responsibilities, encourage them and fill his place .. not to lose them anymore, I know it is too much for a twenty one years old female, but I’ve no choice, I love my brother a lot, so I am ready to bear anything for him, specially when I know he is in a place where only rare people can join.Since I love him a lot, I decided to write these words as a message to him, telling him that I always wished the best for him and I am ready to do anything I can to tell the world about a person who was a diamond for us and is a candle who will keep to light up my life for ever, giving me hope for future, to make my dreams true, for myself, my family, and for my country , also his souvenirs will live with me every moment in my life and every time I look at the sky and stars (as we always used to do).I want my brother’s story be a simple and direct message to the world, to have attention about those innocent Iraqis who die everyday without guilt and their spirits be stolen suddenly in such way..I ask everyone who reads my words, just to close his eyes for seconds.. feel me .. and imagine the hard life in which Iraqis are living in .. if you do, help us to object this situation in my country, because no one except god has right to take our spirits from us, because it is not fair.. also I ask you to pray for him to make his soul comfort, and his guilt to be forgiven and be happy by hearing your prayers

Yours’ ,

The loyal sister,

Rita Jan Thomas Poushijian. "

2008-04-05T05:21:00.000-07:00

Please God give us solace

2008-03-20T06:05:00.000-07:00

I ‘d been through tough situations again , my husband had to leave his job because of terrorists’ threatening .He lost his 5 years of ministration .This is the second time he lose his job and years of ministration ,previously he lost 15 years ,he feel devastated, he will have no retiring rights .His chance to find new job is almost impossible. That made our life stressed ,made him nervous , and made our future mistful.
Our friends and dearest neighbors lost their only son during car explosion in the middle of the market, he was the sweetest guy I ‘d ever knew. He had charming smile ,loving shy look . He had a big heart full of love and a caring personality. he is the first one who taught Sunshine and I how to use the internet.
Seeing his father, who is a doctor ,in such an overwhelming situation breaks my heart, his mom, sister and grandmother weep and no words can make them feel well again ,makes me feel miserable ,helpless and distressed. seeing Sunshine going through such a painful event is very saddened too.
In addition to the pain of losing him and sharing the deep pain of his family ,I suffer from the fear of losing one of my children in such a horrifying way.
Please pray for ‘V’,may Allah bless his soul and give his family ,friends and all those who adore him the solace…….
Mama

I got my tears back.....

2008-03-01T09:19:00.000-08:00

hi
I used to have my tears easily flow even in happy circumstances, as when a bride enter the reception, or when I see a new born baby among his mom’s arms or sleeping, on meeting my parents after along time parting, even when I talk to them on the phone .but on leaving them tears can’t be controlled.

But since along time I can’t cry even in the most sad circumstances, I feel like my chest is about to explode ,I even asked my doctor but he did not give an explanation, I desperately feel like I want to cry for hours……
Yesterday I talked with sunshine about things bother me so badly, and I cried and talked to her for about two hours ,she is exceptionally wise and really good even better than my psychiatrist , I felt relieved and slept well at night .I hope that I got my tears back.
Mama

We live in uncertainty...

2008-02-16T09:53:00.000-08:00

Hello
In Mosul an important operation against Al-qaida is expected .we all live in uncertainty ,in the last days of sunshine’s exams I lived in a great fear ,that my blood pressure began to swing up and down and after a few emotional situations I went through I had collapse . now I am getting better because she is at home , I feel a little bit relieved. Some regions of Mosul are under curfew that will last several days. we are looking forward for a better and safer life. hopefully this operation will not
harvest innocents ,and only criminals and contumacious will be trapped.
Sunshine birthday party was postponed ,Miriam shared her birthday party yesterday with only 3 girls ,live in our neighborhood but their parents did not allow them to stay for long , her party went too fast ,but she enjoyed it any way.
Mama

New Iraqi blogger

2008-01-25T09:04:00.000-08:00

A new Iraqi blogger started blogging ,I am honoured to know him personaly and I want to welcome him in the blog world.
Mama

More about us....

2008-01-25T08:03:00.000-08:00

The day before yesterday at 4:30 pm a building exploded in a nearby neighborhood ,our house was quaked without any damages , the windows’ handles were opened so they only clapped strongly .
while we were checking the house immediately after the explosion we saw a huge orange cloud over the area of the blast .I had never been scared the way I felt ,I quickly picked up the phone to call a doctor friend to see what should we do if this explosion happened due to some chemical blast , and to inform me if there were any measures we should follow to avoid suffocation or any other symptoms ,but there were no phone services (out of coverage).
I gave my children wet towels to put it on their noses, and we began to close the windows tightly. Then we saw in the Mosul local TV channel ,that the explosion had no chemical damages but the tragedy took so many innocent souls . 50 houses and 200 store shops were destroyed .147 injured ,and 39 died with so many bodies are still under the debris.
Next day my husband ,my uncle and I went to work ,but my daughters didn’t go to their schools . as I work near the main hospital , the forensic office and the emergency hospital you can imagine how my day was.
As soon as I entered my room ,I saw my mate wearing black .with teary eyes she said they murdered my dear uncle in front of his 19 years old daughter and his two little boys. He was a prophesier had his degree from UK .
She started to talk about the funeral and how the explosion damaged her parents’ house and her sister’s . her sisters’ 4 children and husband were injured while she was in the funeral.
After the tragedy the roads and the bridges were blocked and the mother couldn’t make it and reach her injured family,, she even could not call them and know how serious their injuries were until the next day.
While we were talking, her injured brother in law came to seek for her help, because his 13 years old daughter did not get help yet in the crowded emergency room .the girl had deep long injury on her lovely face and wasn’t sutured yet. my friend went with them to look for a doctor that can aid.
Just then my boss came and asked every one to go home because he had received a notice about a hasty stroll ban. My driver could not take me home because of the locked roads ,I had to go home walking among the soldiers and their shootings in the air ( the Iraqi way to inform people about blocked roads).
When my friend left the emergency room , she couldn’t reach her home as it was across the bridge ,and had to sleep in her parents house .her mother wasn’t their because she was in her dead brother’s house to receive the comforters. her husband also couldn’t reach home or his sad wife at her parents house.
My husband had to pass the river with a launch to the other strand , then walked to the house, he walked over 15 kilometer. my uncle (father in law) walked over 7 kilometers ,he is 70 years old.
Mama

They were not experts!!

2008-01-19T08:56:00.000-08:00

In the last several cold days, we had to live without electricity at all. In such circumstances my children were studying and going to school . it was hard cold dark nights for them but they don’t have any choice, but to survive and go on .
at one of those dark cold nights we were informed by one of the neighbors that at 9 o’clock their will be an explosion ,he said the American soldiers were trying to destroy the residue of the near bridge which was previously destroyed by terrorists through exploding two cars in addition to decoying the bridge it self, at that time our house was badly damaged and we were lucky to live to tell the tale.
we opened our windows and took cover in the freezing corridor, we waited from 8:20 pm till 10 pm and nothing happened, my little boy yosif slept after long time of sitting on the torch light alone in such coldness then felt to sleep. I decided to take a risk and put my boy in his bed( it’s besides mine), “we can’t bear the cold for ever “I said,.
at 11pm a very loud explosion opened the bedroom’s windows ,we also heard the windows breaking down ,the very cold bluster carried dusts into inside.
Miriam who was just falling asleep started screaming. I laid over my son and my husband ran through the darkness to Miriam . then we checked everyone and the rest of the house. we had some damages in the windows ,but luckily not in the bed rooms.
we decided to go back to bed and sweep the shrapnel’s and start to fix the damages early in the morning. But a louder explosion at 12 in the midnight terrified us and caused more damages to the windows and doors leaving the house so cold, dirty and leaving us astonished.
Next day my daughters had to go to attend their exams after a horrible night ,my husband had to go to work too, but I took the day off and stayed home to try to clean in spite of the frostiness and the tiredness. When my husband returned home he told me that those soldiers were not experts and nothing happened to the bridge residue, only the neighborhood houses were damaged!!!!!!!!!!.
Mama

I went home

2008-01-08T09:28:00.000-08:00

Hi
I visited Baghdad after two years of parting from my parents ,family members and friends .I was patient along the long tiring road ,unlike Mariam ,my little daughter, who had travel sickness, and my little son yosif, who got bored and started to cry and bothering Mariam and his father Who was all the time cursing the troops and every one close the road ,we spend 10 hours driving in unpaved roads slowly, we used to reach Baghdad in 4 hours in easy driving, but things changed dramatically.
My husband was so angry and not helping at all in such difficult road ,but friends of mine kept calling me and sending me SMS, praying for me and gratifying me through that time.
In Baghdad ,I saw my family, friends, neighbors and enjoyed Eid very much. We also participated in celebrating Christmas with some Christian friends .we had wonderful time the situation in Baghdad is better ,the streets are cleaner and safer. hope that things will continue improving .
On the next day we arrived to Baghdad I really wanted to walk along my parents neighborhood alone, I had lovely memories I wanted to remember ,but sunshine joined me ,I think she didn’t feel comfortable to the idea of my walking alone , as well as she needed some fun too .anyway I had a great feeling of being home again . I wished to stay there forever…..
Days past very fast ,we were invited to many relatives houses ,we recreated many Iraqi famous dishes…but along that time I had a mixed feelings of happiness , fear from the coming, and sadness from leaving soon………..
Mama

we need a wake up call

2007-12-07T07:15:00.001-08:00

Hello
even before I get ill ,I think a lot about the types of medications in the Iraqi markets, I asked pharmacists about the sources and prices of the medications and if there is quality control and of course the answer was NO.
The medications are imported by traders without any monitoring by the government ,as those traders need financial profit, you can expect the quality and the unguaranteed sources.
In general the resources are from India ,Syria, Jordan, Egypt, China ,and from UAE.
There are other resources like German and other Europeans . Many Iraqis are in bad economic condition , therefore they look for low priced medicine .
Here are some examples of the drugs’ sources and prices:
Indian antibiotics( capsule) ….750 ID
UAE antibiotics(capsule)…...1250 ID
Egyptian antibiotic syrup……1250 ID
Uae antibiotic syrup……….. 2500 ID
Indian Paracetamol tablets......125 ID
German paracetamol tablets …125 ID
Iraqi paracetamol tables …….250 ID( good quality)
Syrian panadol extra (24tab)……….500 ID
Jordanian panadol extra(24tab) …..750 ID
PC :$ = 1250 ID
And again you can’t guarantee the source ,the efficacy , the expired date and any information mentioned on the drug and it’s leaflet.
I asked my sister Rose about the prices and resources of medications in Dubai ,where she stays, she mentioned high prices , Iraqis can not afford for such drugs…
she mentioned that she prefer to buy Saudi’s and UAE ‘s medicines because it’s low-priced, as there are quality control you don’t look for the drug of higher price cause you can get effective drug any way.
Irish Panadol tablets (48 tab) …9 dirham(=2.465$)
German Actifed serup ……… 17dirham( = 4.65$)
Swiss Cough depressant serup…15dirham(=4.109$)
Antibiotics in general are expensive their price range between 40-45 dirham (=10.958-12.328$)
Flagyl serup………… 21dirham (=5.753$)
Mama

I need some one to listen attentively

2007-11-24T06:10:00.000-08:00

Hi
After being ill for about two weeks, I feel nervous all the time as I stopped taking antidepressant medications after withdrawal schedule ,I like to laugh and tell jokes specially at work but in fact I feel very much angry ,anxious and deeply sad. I feel like I want to shout ,scream so loudly till I make every one pay attention .probably I am getting crazy, or I had enough from being patient and the wise person that live for every one else except my self.
I spent the first 9 days in bed ,in the worse condition ,feeling faintly, then I started to spend hours playing music on my key board and some time knitting macramé, music helped me a lot to avoid the nausea discomfort, and to kill the time…
Mama

I am ill

2007-11-07T22:56:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday I returned from work while I was still on my way home I felt a little bit dizzy and nausea bothered me a little bit ,I remember that I wondered why, because I don't usually complain from motion sickness like Miriam ,my little daughter ,any way I reached home tired and pale. my daughters were invited to birthday party ,I could hardly helped Miriam to get ready and with very much struggle I finished wrapping the gifts .then I went straight to bed and could not leave it till today, even in the three times I had to leave my bed to go to the hospital, I needed help to leave it..
On Friday I suffered from heat flashes ,with upsetting nausea I fainted for more than 15 times, I looked very pale like the dead faces , on Friday and Saturday we couldn't find a doctor , on Saturday I was not any better, with the girls around me crying I was conscious but had no ability to open my eyes or even answer them ,I was half dead.
I remained like that till Sunday without doctor consultation ,on Sunday my husband put me in the car and took me to my work ,left me in the car and went straight to my mate asking for her help ,her cousin and two sisters are doctors, she came with him and took me to the hospital where her cousin works, I was very much dizzy and almost fainted ,he examined me and find out my blood pressure very high,he asked for some blood tests and asked for brain CT- scan ,in the next day my tests revealed normal results, but I am still very tired …I did not faint since Monday but I feel very weak ,I can't stand up for even a short time, I didn't go to work till now…
the differential diagnosis is that I had sever psychological stress and probably hormonal dysfunction or probably a viral infection…
the problem is the country suffer from doctors deficiency, the private hospitals are closed because of threatens by some terrorists ,although the private hospitals are not in good conditions ,they are dirty and don't offer good medical services,many doctors left the country or don’t show up in their own clinics to avoid threatens.
The doctor prescribed some medications for me ,but they are not effective, drugs here are cheap in all standards. I will write a post about medications in Iraq to give you an idea about the bad state of medicines..
Mama

can you help?

2007-10-23T12:25:00.000-07:00

this is the medical report of the injured kid in my previous post:
Medical report
Name : Mustafa A.
Age : 15 years old
Date of admission 4/10/2007

This patient had injuries to the chest and abdomen leading to injuries to lungs and liver laparotomy done and we found liver lacerated in 3 pieces suturing to liver done haemo stasis. Diaphragm also injured in 3 areas, suturing of diaphragm done and tube drain put in side abdomen. Chest tube put inside the chest. Then his condition deteriorated in bile drained to the chest and bile appear in sputum.
Thoracotomy done, cleaning of thoracic cavity putting another chest tube and drain through the diaphragm, over the liver through the abdominal wall exit, now drain in abdomen discharge about 250 ml. of bile and chest tube working. this patient desperately need good medical treatment ,but our hospitals are not capable to offer...this kid's mom want your help,in case there is any organisation can help this child please e-mail me on affectionatemammy@yahoo.com ...
Mama

Injured kid ..

2007-10-21T10:44:00.001-07:00

I was still at work, when my cell phone rang ,it was my dearest friend ,she asked me to meet her at the hospital.
I didn't expect bad news but I was very wrong, when she saw me she burst into tears and started to cry hysterically and told me that her 15 years old brother was hit by mortar fell on their house, he is in very critical situation ,his body injured with many shrapnel's ,his liver was completely damaged, his diaphragm lacerated ,his colon was longitudinally cut ,his tummy look very outsized , filled with blood from internal bleeding, his lung also was injured.
He had three operations till now, and he is still in the intensive care ,she asked me to pray for him .The worse part in this story is the hospital condition it is very dirty ,with very limited medical services, few doctors,and large number of casualties, no one checked him during eid,he remained 3 days suffering from blocked tubes, internal bleeding and bad pain without any kind of medical care ,no nurses nor doctors during eid…they can't take him abroad ,they need passport, visa ,and special care during traveling, which is impossible to get..
We are all subjected to be injured and to face such situation ….
Mama..

Not in the mood ..

2007-10-05T12:24:00.000-07:00

Recently I started to feel so depressed ,I finally found my psychiatrist ,I did not see him since the USA invasion, he changed my medications and added more , in the first week I felt so drowsy ,I could hardly stay awake ,or concentrate. now I feel a little bit better.
I some times wish I can stay alone near sea board ,or river bend ,or in a green field ,I miss the view of peaceful city. I only see damaged buildings, sad worried faces ,and mines implanted in the streets instead of roses and flowers, all I see is militaries in the residential areas instead of children playing in their gardens… all I hear is sad stories ,explosions, gun fires, and bad news…
I feel like I need to stay in a quiet place alone to clear my mind……I feel like I have no energy, so tired even after I sleep, I wake up so lazy, I have so many things to do, but I have no liveliness nor mood.
Mama

lucky to stay alive

2007-10-01T11:24:00.000-07:00

For the forth time a near loud explosion damaged our house so badly ,and frightened my kids . Allah saved us but not all our neighbors were as lucky as we were, the injured had to walk to the hospital as no ambulance could come to our neighborhood because we were surrendered, I sadly saw my young female neighbor walking with her 3 years old nephew with bloody body to reach the hospital which is about 2 km away from our neighborhood. of course our windows were broken and the doors too ,the house was full of dust, smoke , shrapnels and brokered glass.
while we started to check our losses a second very deafening explosion startled us which caused very bad damages and scared us specially my children ,Merriam kept screaming and lost the ability to walk, Sunshine carried her , yoyo was screaming and crying ,he was asleep when the explosion awaked him…..
We were all fasting ,hungry ,and thirsty .it was 3 pm when we started to sweep the dust and the glass ,with pain, hunger, anger and thirst we almost finished the most important steps of the cleaning ,as the sun set we supposed to have our fotoor( meal ),we didn't cook any thing, as we were busy , so we prepared some simple dish of eggs and meet, 15 minutes before fotoor I fainted ,I was shaky while I was cleaning ,then suddenly I fell at the ground, I must had hypoglycemia…….
Mama

More about me ,my family and my people....

2007-09-14T00:38:00.000-07:00

I am a mother of three children ,Sunshine Is shining my life since 15 years .Miriam is my life Joy since 9 years, yoyo came to warm my days three year ago…
Sunshine Is a brilliant girl make me proud of how we raised her ,she has great interests in reading ,writing ,looking for information about every thing in many aspects, she care about others and has good account in helping people desperately needed help, she allocates money for poor people and help sick people to find hospitals that offer free medical care,she spend hours for that, & she is doing great in school….
Miriam has a great personality, she is different than sunshine, but has her own charisma, she like sport, art, music, dancing ,she is willful, and very emotional ,and like to share in group work and share in house work she is organized and pleasant person to spend time with…
Yoyo,my little boy ,he is very smart, loving boy, I very much enjoyed my mothering with him he is very gentle and sweat.
About me I am a dentist as you know, I love where I work lately ,and started to enjoy my career ..I like to have social life and make friends, I like music and playing on my musical keyboard abolish my sad moments, I like country songs, and the eighties songs in general.
I enjoy cooking ,reading , growing plants, writing some thoughts and memories in a special copybook hoping my kids will read it in case one day I'm gone, became interested in reading about some previous famous persons ,I am organized in nature, I like decoration and handmade work ,specially macramé ,I like to make large designs like curtains,lampshades,partitions,and many other designs…
but still the most important thing to me ,and most interesting and enjoyable interest is my maternity, and taking care of my children, there Is nothing in this world can be more important than them , taking care of them and teaching them some skills like handmade work and art work,. they are my priority, I don't have privy dental clinic because I want to spend time with my kids and enjoy their company and childhood …
I suffer from depression and anxiety ,but I am better now with the help of my parents' support and the medications I take, I live in deep pain because I live away from Baghdad and left behind me my parents alone ,I feel lonely living without them and without my only sister who left Iraq…
I love my country more than I my self knew before the invasion ,I want my people to live in peace again they deserve that, Iraqis are very intimate people, love social life , very familial, specially in feasts, family members gathers together and spend wonderful times, now we are scattered in different countries

I never imagined myself away from my parents for a year now…we miss our life style..
The media made us terrorists that we may kill each other ,that our castes separates us ,and that Iraqis kill mercilessly, they turned us from being innocent victims into murderers and from people have ancient civilizations to illiterates…………..
عذرا بغداد خدعناك .... قلنا سنثور لعيناك قلنا سندمر من يجرأ أن يمس هواك .... قلنا لن نقبل أن يحرق غصن من نخيل بصراك عذرا بغداد ياوجعي للمرة الألف خذلناك .... بعنا من قبل فلسطين واليوم بصمتنا بعناك

Mama

Tough week

2007-08-25T01:53:00.000-07:00

I had a tough week full of hard emotions, I really miss my parents and need to see them I didn't see them since last November, when they came in a quick visit ,but I didn't see Baghdad for a year and a half. I used to visit my family their every 2 months. I also feel so worried as schools will start and the fear and worry about my daughters will start too.
I heard about a relative murder, and so many sad stories about Iraqi families from the resident dentists ,I also read many experiences about families abroad from the network sites ……….
Ah,I really feel exhausted, I also had a difficult personal sympathy experience at work that made me lose my equipoise, I really want a brake before I explode. I had many crying moments this week…
Anyway at work ,we are one of the best two dental centers that offer good dental treatment in low prices, for thousands of people seeking our help to relief their pain , but as we have limited abilities we select certain cases that the other health centers can't treat, as I work in the diagnosis and oral medicine department, I select the cases according to the policies I have to obey, which makes me and the team of the resident dentists in contact with the sick ,poor patients., in deep sorrow we have to deselect many painful and cases of poor prognosis. many of these cases are children under 13 years, some times people start to beg us which is really a heart breaking situation we can't help ….this add more stress to me specially I usually very badly sympathize with those people, they can't afford for the dental high prices treatment and many of them chose to extract their teeth to relief the pain….
I took my kids to a picnic ,to a casino near the Tigris river with some relatives, Sunshine enjoyed fishing there ,my other two kids ,Miriam and yoyo, had fun too swimming and playing, although we heard many many explosions but the kids did not care, I supposed to have fun there, the weather was great, the company was nice , the view of the river was so much relieving , my kids happiness was the most important thing to me, but suddenly I burst into tears ....Then as I was close to one of the trees I heard a far away shooting and few moments latter the tree wicker near my head was smashed by an aimless bullet…the fear I felt was beyond discretion……
Mama

Every Iraqi is no more the same

2007-08-10T04:23:00.000-07:00

It astonishes me how our children and youth became so different than they should be in this age. they look older in their behavior and attitudes. my son, yoyo is a three years old, he refuse to sleep in his own bed since the bad explosion that damaged our house badly……….he sleep in my bed rolling his fingers in my hair when he stops I presume he is in deep sleep, but as soon as I try to escape from the bed he wakes up. you can see my little boy don't feel secured in side our house. even when he is tired and need to sleep. he often asks me to stay next to him while he is playing with his toys or watching his favorite cartoon, even when he goes to the bathroom, much much more than bed times stories he asks if there will be explosions today, or if the windows will be broken again….

Miriam is not much better , she has bad memories and an inside fear in fact she is much aware of all the danger we live in ,she heard so many bad stories from school, TV, family members and friends much much more than bed time stories and fancy stories , she did not sleep alone since along time,
sunshine has additional bed in Miriam's room they sleep together ………
Sunshine is 15 as you know, she doesn't live her age too, she is more grown up than her age round the world , normally he should be interested in her school, friends, music , sports, clothes, make up, fashion and hair style, as well as actors and famous characters ,yes ,she is still interested in all that ,she is still ordinary teenager girl, but she Is more alert about our country and all what is happening to Iraqis, she is always busy writing just like if it's her responsibility , she feels she is obligated and should not be inattentive to what is going on to our life, future and homeland, she is even so much watchful to the bad campaign against Iraqis and Muslims in general, she want to stand against the world media to correct the wrong situation ,do you think it's a normal teenager cares….?!!!!...
In fact every Iraqi is no more the same than before we all are tired, sad and anxious about the unknown, the young dentists ( residents) look like old care-worn men ,in spite of there jokes, music and sport interests, but they often mention their fear about their opportunities to have families, jobs and future with settling …they don't have trust or believes in the upcoming…even those with strong ambitions..

the other thing that is obviouly changed ,we all considered our wenning in AFC Asian cup as a vectory, and that allowed us to have our flag fluttering high everywhere.....
Mama..

New resident dentists

2007-08-09T03:31:00.000-07:00

This week another group of resident dentists will rotate to the department where I work ,they are from beloved Baghdad, I like to meet people specially if they were from other governorates and cities, every one have different stories since Baghdad downfall ,but all are tragic, Baghdadis known to have nice spirits as well as Iraqis from the other southern and western cities, but now I feel they are mystified a lot, and tense. I can understand that it's not easy to leave home and because of the difficulties they face in mosul,where large number of the people here are so much different , very introverted , anxious and not too friendly…it took me 17 years to be familiar with the to the differences between here and Baghdad and still I can't get along well…
Mama
P.S I usually take Sunshine's opinion about my post , this time she didn't like my judgment about Mosul citizens........

WHY?!

2007-07-27T07:06:00.000-07:00

Hello friends, how are you all?
It's is really upsetting to see the Iraqi families which are known to be well-found of family gatherings. now many family members became in different countries ,in my case I live in Mosul, while my parents in Baghdad and we don't dare to travel to see each other ..my sister is in Dubai and we can't, exchange visits…we are also stuck in our house while the students should be enjoying summer holiday..i.e we are imprison
in our houses for no guilt…
yesterday my uncle’s mother in law arrived from Syria ,she is hypertensive and diabetic, she looked really tired and sick. my uncle suggested to take her to the hospital ,in their way to hospital a car bombed near to them, to kill many innocents. after they survived from this accident the hospital became crowded with the injured people ,so he had to go back home without seeing the doctor .at home his wife thought that her mom’s blood pressure could be elevated so she gave her 10 mg of valume and extra tablet of diuretic.. the mother lost her consciousness and they had to take her again to hospital, before the curfew ,
my uncle ‘s wife is educated but desperately wanted to help her tired mom ,in such a wrong way….
Mama

Random shooting unit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-23T09:28:00.000-07:00

funnyHi there, how are you?
This week I was shocked when I discovered how our national guards, police and FPS,are not well qualified in unbelievable way..
Early in this week I examined a very slim patient who looked abnormal, shaky, with squint eyes I mean really bad squint and bad hearing, I had to speak loud to let him hear.
As the patien stepped from the dental chair, I saw a gun under his shirt..
I got curious and asked him what his job was to mention it in his medical case sheet..
The shocky answer was he is an FBS,and work in the emergency unit..
Next day he came back in his uniform this time, to be honest he looked funny, but soon I felt disappointed, I wonder how did he past the medical exam to be in the FPS…
Then when he left my room, I looked at my thunderstruck mate, to say he must be in the random shooting unit!!!…….
KEEP PRAYING..
Mama

happy Mama...

2007-07-10T23:27:00.000-07:00

Hello all,
How are you? I started my new job a month ago, I feel comfortable, happy and excited. the mates there are gorgeous, well educated, well mannered, humorous and have nice relations together ,we have there many married couples. it is fun and it's only 5 minutes away from my house..
It's the first time I experience such a nice mixture of Iraqis from different cities, it's really amazing to meet people from the south and west, I never had friends from my country's southern cities, we have many things in common, they are very opened and we have similar interests. Any way they resemble the Baghdadis in their manners ,life style , interests and believes …the dentists that work in my room are from hadeetha,and faluja.
Till now we did not discuss any political subjects ,but we talk a lot about their life in their cities,their families and ceremonies that are important in their cities, we talk about their mimicries. it 's really enlightening for me and interesting too.now I love to wake up in the morning and go to work. I even took Miriam and sunshine there to have a look on my new job.
Stay safe
Mama

my world is falling apart

2007-05-29T11:37:00.000-07:00

In the last few day so many things ruined my happiness for my daughters success in school, and the summer holiday which is supposed to make me feel a little bit relaxed. and because of my new job, but on Tuesday 15\5 Roses' father-in-law passed away, he was a great man ,that was hard for everyone to lose him, may Allah bless his soul. it was rainy weather and many roads were blocked, my husband and his dad attended the burial ceremony, at that same day one of my relatives in Baghdad was kidnapped but fortunately was released in the same day after taking money. That was a real tribulation for us.
in the next day I went to the funeral of Rose's father in law, after I came back home very much emotionally tired ,loud but far explosions were heard in every part in Mosul , my husband had a look from the house roof ,and knew it was from the other part of mosul.eight bombed cars exploded within a short time .the authorities imposed immediate stroll bans, many families were stuck away from their homes for 4 days. at that same day my parents in Baghdad had a really bad day, because my uncle disappeared ,and some devils called to ask for ransom, they did not tell me till Sunday, but the truth which we all did not know that he was murdered and not kidnapped. but his daughter who is a medical student found him in the morgue with the help of her prof.I got the bad news with shock and deep pain. I felt like my whole world was falling apart. I wanted to be with my mom in such circumstances, but I couldn't it's not safe to go to Baghdad, I didn't go there since last year in February.
After I started to carry on my life , my dearest friend had a sudden unpleasant visit by the US soldiers, who exploded the doors while she , her husband and their 3 children were sleeping .they did not just do that for them but to her brothers' in laws next door. then they inspected their houses leaving them soooo messy and smashed. then they took the three men after fettering their hands and blindfolding their eyes in front of their wives , their children and their old mom. those three men are engineers from respectful families , and very well-mannered…
Mama…

Terrorism has no religion..

2007-05-11T05:03:00.000-07:00

It's shame how many American movies and series ,symbolize the bad guys with Muslim characters, as in 24 series, all the terrorists either speak Arabic, or wear hats with "No god but Allah" wrote on it. why?. Islam is an old religion on this earth for 1428 years now, why recently we see this campaign against Islam ,in every nationality ,in every denomination there are bad and good people ,but why suddenly Islam became the identity of the terrorism. why every terror on this earth is made with name of Islam, the religion of peace?!
In the other hand we see movies or TV report on the Buddhists and how peaceful they are ,or reports about other peaceful groups ,why??...what message ,and who want to send it , and to whom ?..what will the new generations from different nationalities will have toward each other?....
Our prophet Mohammed , used to say to his soldiers to be merciful , not to kill any woman, child , an old man , monk , chaplain, not to destroy any land .
we salute each other with " Peace for you " ..
There is no religion from god instigate terrorism..
I hope that the world will realize that Islam Is a peaceful religion ..
Mama.

last news....

2007-05-06T00:33:00.000-07:00

Hello all
These days ,good things happened, like Sunshine's excellent marks that will qualify her not to join most of the final exams.
The other thing is that I will finish serving in the country side soon, that will be on 18\5.and I will join new place to work in , with some of my collage mates ,where we can learn more about the recent technologies in dentistry.Oh, god I am so excited.
we were invited to wedding party last Tuesday ,we had good time, I was so happy to see my kids dancing and having great time. Yoyo, my little 3 years old child, was talking to everyone, playing with the kids ,I think that was the merriest day for him…
Merriam is preparing for the final exam, lastly my daughters will stay home in summer holiday , that I don't have to worry about them, and can focus on my career…
I miss my parents so badly ,the phone connections between us is so horrible, the traveling to Baghdad is not safe ,and I did not see my parents since last September, when they came to Mosul for only 4 days. I did not see Baghdad since last year in February…
Keep praying for the Iraqis..
Mama.

Different life

2007-04-11T10:17:00.000-07:00

Four years ago I had a very different life , peaceful one ,I could celebrate my and my kids birthdays ,the feast with my parents and my only sister, I used to visit my parents in Baghdad from time to time, in a safe way and never had problem in traveling, we used to have lots of plans together ,parties ,picnics ,visit friends and neighbors, do lots
of shopping, walking and have family gatherings. we had a wonderful life ,among family ambiance.

we did not have direct contact with the previous government, therefore ,we were safe from their harm. We were not allowed to disagree, or have an opinion against the government policy.
we had many problems like electric power shortage, and low salaries, but we were secured at our homes and anywhere else. we had normal life.
although I had no work at that time, and had financial problems ,but I had a better life than I have now.
we did not have internet or mobile phone services ,we were not allowed to travel round the world, or having any contact out side the country, we had limited health care services, and shortage in medications.
America decided to rescue us ,and to bring us freedom, and to bring us splendid life. because we did not taste the democracy yet ,we were very over credulous to believe in these promises.
What life did America give us?
-non secured life even when you say nothing with or against the many many political components.
-non secured life at home ,at work, in the street, in the hospital , in the church, in the mosque.
-neither the children nor the olds feel safe from so many's harm, from all sources of mischief's.
many innocents Iraqis are under arrest. -
-the number of the widows and orphans highly increased. And we lost so many citizens.
But we now have internet connection to communicate with our faraway families.-
we have mobile phones to check our family members if they were still alive.-
-I have a job now ,the road by which I reach home is now called " the road of death" it's unsafe road full of mines and ambushes.
-our salaries are much higher than before, they can barely be enough to buy the very very much highly priced fuel, to go to work and to operate the generators ,because we have no electricity most of the day, by this salary we can't rival the high prices of all kinds of goods.
-We are now ruing the limited health care that we used to get in our hospitals, on comparing the situation now, no medications ,no good doctors after they had left the country after threatens ,or left the whole world after being murdered.
-my family, my self and many Iraqis used to complain from the dirty roads, now we say at least they were paved and safe.
-in the past, many people round the world didn't know about Iraq, and the Iraqis, who were they?, what are their traditions?, religions?,race?,they knew nothing.
now we are described as terrorists, who cut the heads mercilessly, and consist of many rowed sects, and that we are people own the world oil, but are savages and not confided to own it.
Mama

lucky or what?

2007-04-03T10:57:00.000-07:00

To see smashed car, due to explosion ,bomb or other accident, became familiar to anyone go through Iraqi roads. To be in your house , work , school ,or even in hospital church or mosque a very load explosion is something very expected everyday, you might get hurt by the shrapnels
, or you could be blessed and only get terrified.
To receive unexpected visitors as kidnappers, or home inspectors from different nationalities ,or even mislaid bullet or you could be luckier to receive a mortar , is something frequent.
Explosives planted in the roads became very ordinary but not dear road accompaniers, I once saw died Youngman in the street and no one stopped to check if he was alive. my husband saw many such scenes, he even saw someone being kidnapped and then was shot.
There are more and more bad events I personally did not and don't wish to experience, please pray for that.
But last Thursday I witnessed something very different Therefore it was non routinely day, while I was in my way to work with four other doctors in the car, we saw three tanks blocking the road , as it was something usual we turned to look for an alternative road. The driver did not make his best decision and chose unsecured road for short. we ,the doctors I mean, was busy staring at the album of our recently engaged mate, and discussing very very important issues, like her hair style and makeup, when we heard loud DING, the driver shouted "oh my god, we tramped someone", even before my eight months pregnant friend finished her statement "oh ,I hope he is ok", the young outworn guy stand up, then just then we saw his machinegun. he swiftly started to shoot toward the tanks as we were just out of the road in front of the tanks. the sound was horribly loud and the scare was indescribable, the tanks of course turned toward the guy to shoot him died because we was not that lucky to do before, and we were unlucky again as we were just behind that equipped guy. I wonder if he had the chance to focus on HIS ENAMY before he started to shoot the ironclad tanks immediately after the bad,I mean really bad hit we gave him ,the driver , made the faster backward drive he ever made and then we lasted to a graveyard,and he said we are safe here!!.
when we reached work very weary and lucky this time to survive we began to check the driver blood pressure and our pregnant friend. thank you for your prayers it's working really good.

Alive Mama

Sudden event...

2007-03-12T08:38:00.000-07:00

Fear is the only feeling our kids experience now days under the new democracy, my house was badly damaged by exploded fuel tank close to my house, the suicidal attacked the nearby police station.
As a Muslim I thank Allah that we are unharmed ,and my children did not injured, that was a miracle, we were in the garden at that time, my 3 years old son wasn't out yet ,he was in the hallway, two wooden doors slapped him and many glass splints , he surely got terrified, and panicked but he wasn't even scratched. He is not like ordinary child ,he feel unsecured, he don't play in his room nor sleep in it ,because he don't want to stay alone, he keep following me in the house and refuse to stay alone in any room inside our own house even for few minutes. in the last two weeks four bombed cars exploded in our neighborhood .how can I make my children feel tenable , at least in my house? how can I, if I my self don't feel secured??..
At the time of explosion my little girl Miriam was alone in the laundry room in the back yard, where glass and the roof gypsum fell on her, with the most terrifying sound you can imagine .
at that time I experienced horror not just from the explosion, but I wanted to see everyone intact specially Miriam as she wasn't in front of my eyes.
I screamed ,ran and looked for her among the smoke, dust and debris..
After I checked out everyone , I started to examine my house ,my own paradise was unbelievably dirty ,the whole windows damaged and many glass darts were penetrating the walls and furniture. the doors were not only damaged but also split into two , the curtains pipes became arced , the fault ceiling felt down , incredibly the window type air-conditioner thrown out of it's place, everything was thrown here and there. dust and gunpowder as well as millions of glass splints is everywhere even inside our closets. that was unbelievable , we are ok!! ,no one was hurt, with shaking hands I did the most stupid thing ,(I think I had ever done), I wrote an sms to my parents who where in Dubai in a great family event , they went to my sister Rose , they were having lunch with my uncles who came from USA, Canada and Ajman after many years of exodus , I wrote to them" a car exploded near our house , the house is devastated, but we are unharmed". in such irresponsible words I simply ruined their great meeting at lunch and sure the few next days…god knows how awful I feel about sending that letter ,at that time the only thing that I wanted to do is to tell anyone that we were alive ,specially people who care, but without any thinking about the results.
of course they got panicked and upset , and they were far away , why scare made me so brainless and selfish?? .I don't know.
Then I started to enfold the blankets, and carpets and throw them out, it was really hard to start working with so much fear and pain ,I did not even know from where to start ,chaos was in all over the place. then sweeping and sweeping the glass, after 7 hours of very hard work we could only remove some of the rubbles ,we did not even had lunch, as dark started to fall down, we prepared a safe room to spend the night in together. my husband put some cartons on the windows and we all slept in the living room , my whole body was killing me ,we did not even had a bath, and slept so dusty . early in next day we brought workers ,over 20 workers worked all day long to repair the windows and other damages. In three days we almost finished the most important work.
Mama..

why we are poor?

2006-11-14T05:47:00.000-08:00

My uncle sent me this ,share it with me ,please .
To reflect and... Act.
The difference between the poor countries and the rich ones is not the age of the country.
This can be shown by countries like India & Egypt, that are more than 2000 years old and are poor. On the other hand, Canada, Australia & New Zealand, that 150 years ago were inexpressive, today are developed countries and are rich.
The difference between poor & rich countries does not reside in the available natural resources.

Japan has a limited territory, 80% mountainous, inadequate for agriculture & cattle raising, but it is the second world economy. The country is like an immense floating factory, importing raw material from the whole world and exporting manufactured products.
Another example is Switzerland, which does not plant cocoa but has the best chocolate of the world. In its little territory they raise animals and plant the soil during 4 months per year Not enough, they produce dairy products of the best quality.
It is a small country that transmits an image of security, order & labor, which made it the world’s strong safe.
Executives from rich countries who communicate with their counterparts in poor countries show that there is no significant intellectual difference.
Race or skin color are also not important: immigrants labeled lazy in their countries of origin are the productive power in rich European countries.
What is the difference then?....
The difference is the attitude of the people, framed along the years by the education & the culture. On analyzing the behavior of the people in rich & developed countries, we find that the
great majority follow the following principles in their lives:

1. Ethics, as a basic principle.
2. Integrity.
3. Responsibility.
4. Respect to the laws & rules.
5. Respect to the rights of other citizens.
6. Work loving.
7. Strive for saving & investment.
8. Will of super action.
9. Punctuality.

In poor countries, only a minority follow these basic principles in their daily life.
We are not poor because we lack natural resources or because nature was cruel to us.
We are poor because we lack attitude. We lack the will to comply with and teach these functional principles of rich & developed societies.
don't you agree with my uncle?
I do....
Mama

Stop killing innocents..

2006-11-07T03:49:00.000-08:00

Hello ,
I read an essay about "murdering Iraqi Christians and others in the name of Islam".
Muslims' propagandists call for jihad without explaining it properly ,and they don't forbid killing innocent people from any religion .they call for that professedly in the mosques. killing people it self is something not accepted or even allowed in every empyreal religion…
From my point of view ,I see many simple minded people sympathies with those murderers and believe they are heroes( mujahideen), that makes me RAGING.
But what made me more and more angry was the meeting of the Islamic congress in Saudi Arabia, to issue an agreement between the Islamic cults Sunni and Shiites( shame on you ,did Mohammad separate us into cults, I thought he united us to be monotheists) ,they nominated to stop killing Muslims( what about the others?, I thought you will be unequivocal about FORBIDDING killing unexclusively ,and where were you three years ago, does your meeting mean that you have a role in the bloodshed ! ),we need someone to explain AL- jihad to the benighted juveniles who had been used to kill innocents and to deface Islam), Saudi Arabia announced that it was NOT PARTICIPANT IN this conference, but the Saudis are DEEPLY HURT from the Iraqi suffering!!….what made me extra mad was to know that they were preparing to this meeting since a YEAR now!!!, WAKE UP MUSLIMS' LEADERS.
Sincere Iraqi Muslim
Mama

my last news ...

2006-10-07T11:54:00.000-07:00

Hello friends...
My kids started the new scholastic year lately, so I wanted to ask the parents every where can you send your dear child to school even as you can't be sure about his \her safety, and wait with worrying, while you have to do your job too.
In fact I must go through that every day..
I was studying for a month now as I applied for the MSc.,and went to attend my exam, I had a seat ,wrote my name on the papers, then the headmaster of the pharmacology department asked me to leave as I was excluded from this exam, because it became restricted to doctors and pharmacists!!. as simple as that" please leave, you were excluded"..
although I had to fill about 12 papers in my application papers writing my phone NO. more than three times in each ,but no one bother to tell me about that silly verdict. I was the only dentist that applied in this department…
any way that is part of the chaos life we live in., no one feel responsible and do his job properly ,I must simply forget all about my ambition …
more about me ,my only sister, Rose gave birth lately, she had a girl, but I can't go and see her …
take care..
Mama…

Short notes about my diary in August .

2006-08-14T23:52:00.000-07:00

Hi there, how are you?
I did not write to you since along time, because I am studying to be ready for the Msc application exam. Although the chance to be accepted is very low, because only four will be accepted after the exam and the interview, among hundreds of contestants, but at least I am trying. and it's hard to study among 3 kids, have nothing to do in their hot boring summer holiday, in fact I feel guilty to be busy for not spending enough time with them. it is also hard because of the very hot weather, the temperature is 47C,the electricity is out for about 20 hours a day. We don't sleep well at night, and while I am studying, I usually be so sweaty and hypotensive.At work, my room is hell, with only a fan in the ceiling I sweat like I am melting, it's too hard , upsetting ,embarrassing, and it's difficult to work like that.
I miss my parents and sister so badly. I did not see my parents since February, while I did not see Rose for more than a year .I though my study will make me busy to think about my longing, but I was absolutely wrong.
Mama..

freedom means free to kill,democracy means you have the right to leave the country

2006-07-20T08:10:00.000-07:00

Hello
Our family friend's daughter was murdered last week; she was a pharmacist. She was shot by some merciless men inside her car just after she had shut down her pharmacy. Her husband was still inside the pharmacy, checking all the doors and windows before leaving with their assistant. Her husband saw everything, but his companion didn't allow him to go out , as there was no chance to save her .This young lady had the best manner and ethics, which made her and her family so loved by everyone. She left us and those who loved her so much hurt for her loss. I just can't imagine how her 12 years old son and new born baby will be raised without their dearest mom. Her husband who is now so crumbled not just for her loss, but because of the feeling of guilt for not saving her, and is stunned from the COWERED police who where a cross the street and did nothing at all but staying in their car watching the criminals killing their innocent victim. The criminals stayed around her car for a while threatening everyone from coming near the victim trying to save her.
Her family could not receive her body from the morgue because the murderers wait for the victims' families to kill them too; they had to seek for help from some plutocrat to take her. Even the very close beloved relatives and friends could not attend her funeral. Then her family left their country behind …….
Mama.

Human with no rights.

2006-06-19T07:43:00.001-07:00

Hello

"Human rights" that are nowadays being familial to us, are NOT for free, righteous citizens. It's only for criminals, killers, thieves, terrorists and of course for Saddam and his partners… How?
- As they are under the vision of human rights organizations, they get good meals, where Pepsi, sweets, fruits are included in every day's food menu, where as the children everywhere live in deprivation.
- Our children are also jailed in their own houses but without any excuse, we can't take them out for fun, it's too dangerous.
- They don't worry about their safety, while we face danger everywhere in Iraq.
I did not hear about a bombs or suicide cars in the Iraqi jails ….
In the second exam my daughter and her class mates, continued their exam although there was heavy shooting in the street, and so much blasts, they had to put their fears aside and continue their test.
Last Monday I counted the exploded mines in the road that lead to my work, they were 7 large craters.

-They have electricity, and sleep under comfortable room temperature, that are well cooled at summer and very well heated in winter. While now we live in 45 c with no electricity, and no fuel to operate our generator. Our kids are suffering and they did nothing wrong and did not hurt any body. My daughter Sunshine has her exams in a very hot classroom; they don't even have a fan, with no curtains on the windows to protect the students from the burning sun, with the many examiners in one class in such high temperature, it is very hard to concentrate.
-They get good medical care, while we can hardly find doctors now days..As the doctors are being threatened, murdered or left the country because of all those reasons. The medications in the markets are from very bad resources, they are not effective.
-They can call their families every two weeks, I have no phone connection with my parents who live in Baghdad, I can't visit them the roads are not safe, and the weather is soooo hot.
-They know their rights, while we don't believe we have any.
enjoy your rights.
Mama

Salih the brave boy ...

2006-05-17T09:25:00.000-07:00

Hello
Last day I arrived my work an hour and a half late because of the very crowded road near the gate's check point …
An old woman and 10 years old boy with school bag on his back were waiting for me.
I treated the old lady first, and then asked the boy to get in. He was pale & shaking. He sat on the dental chair and pointed inside his mouth, and said "this is very painful".
I looked and saw nothing, I knew he was confused and pointed to the wrong side; I looked to the opposite side and saw a badly carious tooth.
I told him that we need to extract this tooth, he shake his head for approval.
"But we need to have the approval from some one older than you my dear" I said. "Any one from your family as your parents, older brother or sister, aunt, uncle, or even a neighbor ".I added.

He stepped from the chair in an attempt to leave, with his eyes full of tears, and said nothing.
-"Are you coming back with someone later? I asked.
-"no, I have no one".
-"With whom do you live?".
-"With my younger brother, he is Mongolian".
-I grip his shaky hands and took him to the patio, and asked him to look around, to the other functionaries; (they live in the same village), and asked him if he knew any one?.
Few minutes later he pointed to a man, he was one of the servants" H".
I sent for" H", and told him that I need some one of Salih' relatives because his tooth need to be extracted. He said "I am his fathers' cousin, I can stay with him because he has no One close…his older brother who was taking care of him was murdered 3 days ago"…
-why?
- He was a policeman…
-"Are you hungry, did you have your breakfast honey?" I asked Salih trying so hard to hold my tears.( I had to ask because he was pale and he could show symptoms of hypoglycemia if he was hungry, he could faint too after dental treatment).
- " no I did not , the neighbors did not bring us any". he said.
Just then I could not hold my tears any more, I took his little hands and took him to buy him something to eat.
-"let us buy something to eat, I am hungry too" ..
-" no, I will go home" said Salih pointing to a far cottage..
- I will take him to my place, bring him something to eat, and be right back"…said" H".
But the boy ran away….
I sat in my room, wondering how could these children survive. How could they live alone, what do they do in the darkness every day? Where is our government, are they aware about that policeman's family….
I can't imagine my daughter Mariam (she is 8 now) go alone to a dental clinic to extract her tooth ….it's scary for a child to face that alone.
After about an hour the boy came back with "H", he ate in his house and came seeking for treatment, I was so happy to see him again, I wanted to give him a big hug, but he was behaving like a man.. He sat silently, I gave him his shot, he was shivering, but was very quiet.
I told him he will not feel any thing he will be anesthetized, he nod his head, I extracted his tooth, and then he went without any word…..
Mama….

Shared post .

2006-05-12T11:20:00.000-07:00

Hello friends few weeks ago charley ( one of my blog readers) asked me some questions about my kids upbringing, lastly I found time to answer them , & Sunshine interfered and answered them too…
Q1 Charley: I read Sunshine's blog and am amazed at what an exceptional child she is. I'd like to know how she (sunshine) got that way and how you learned to raise kids like yours. What's your relationship with them?-Sunshine: I think I have a super mom, I have very good relationship with her, and we are close friends.-Mama: I try to be their best chum, and that was easy especially with Sunshine because I was still very young when I became a mother.
Q2 Charley: Are you strict or lenient with them?-Sunshine : My mom has a poise, she isn't very strict nor very lenient, but I am sure her strictness is for our advantage , like 9 pm is our bed time sometimes I get bother about that , specially my friends do not have a specific bed time , but otherwise she do that because she want us to have enough sleep time .-Mama: There are things that I don't lenient about, but in the other hand I explain why to my kids. I also admit that I some times have bad temper, but the kids know that I love them….Q3 Charley: How did they get so serious and disciplined about their school work?-Sunshine :my mom taught me when I was in the first class primary school to depend on myself and do my homework alone in my room ,with out anyone's help , if I can't understand something my mom and dad are always there to help me . Until now I can't sleep comfortably if my homework isn't done.-Mama: my kids goal is to be educated just like any one else in our family. Their grandpas are civil engineers, their grandmas are teachers, I am a dentist, their father is a mechanical engineer .we care about their education, and we will always support them to achieve their dreams by knowledge.
Q4 Charley: How do you get them to help you around the house...or just CLEAN UP THEIR OWN MESSES, for God's sake?-Sunshine: hehehe, to be honest with you, I don't like housecleaning, but my room is always organized, array and clean. When my mom ask me to help her I do, and I ask her whether she needs help or not when she do the housecleaning , but if I see dirty dishes in the sink I don't volunteer to wash them, till someone says " Wash the dishes ! " , etc . -Mama; this is my weak point, I don't ask my kids to have role in house cleaning, but in the other hand I don't allow any mess in their rooms. although I some times feel fed-up for not getting any help or any offer to help me, I don't ask for assistant( my mom always blame me for doing that),actually Mariam my little daughter ( she is 7 years old) try to help but I want to do the house cleaning faster and in a more masterly way!!!!. Q5 Charley: One more question: Do you kids fight with each other. How do you handle that?-Sunshine: well , my sister and I fight a lot , about everything , she do not respect nor do what I tell her to, she jeer and emulate what I say . Mariam and Yosif fight too. But of course we love each other.-Mama; Sunshine and her youngest sister are in continual disagreement because of the age difference (6 years apart), but they both love their 2 years old brother. About dealing with this problem, I failed in all means, and that really upset me very much, I want to see them in harmony and to see them enjoy being with each other and to care about each other. Sunshine need to be patient with her little sister and understand the age difference, Marriam should stop feeling jealous from her elder sister …but they don't overpass their limits in their fights.Q6 Charley: Do you assign them chores? Do you reward them for doing them? How?-Sunshine : our assign chores is that to keep our rooms clean and to study well , I used to get reward when I was younger , and that's what my mom is doing with Mariam , like rewarding her for studying well and getting high marks .-Mama: the kids clean their rooms every Thursday, but they have to keep it organized every day, like their desks, beds, toys and closets…Yes I punish every one who don't respect that, like they won't be allowed to use the computer, or watch TV, or punished by leave them home with their grandparents while we go out to visit some friends. I exaggerate in rewarding my kids .I spend the largest part of my savings for that purpose. I always look for something beneficial that can endow them with enjoyable time.

Q7 :Do you give them allowances?ََََََََََََ-Sunshine: Well, there are certain things that we do not get allowances for like delaying the bed time in the scholastic days etc … But as I get older I have allowances more than before.Mama: depends …
Q8Charley: Do you ever punish them? How?ََ-Sunshine , YES she does , when my sister and I fight , she punish us BOTH , & I can tell you she is TOUGH, my punishments can be no computer for a week , for my sister , a week with no TV, my mom is lenient with Mariam , sometimes she remit the punishment , because as mama says " she is not in your age she is a kid " and that makes me soooo mad .She punishes us by not allowing us to do the things we love.Few weeks ago my mom took all of Mariams' toys, because she didn't study well, and her marks got lower, and when ever Mariam take a high mark, my mom allow her to pick one of her toys back.But now , I don’t or try not to do anything makes mom mad , no fighting with Mariam, because I can't stay one day with out COMPUTER.-Mama: yes some times I have to punish them. By depriving them from certain things and it works.
Q9 Charley: Do they argue when you ask them to do something? How do you handle that?-Sunshine: when she asks me, I do not argue.-Mama: No, they don’t argue.
Q10 Charley: What's their relationship with their father? Close? Distant?-Sunshine : my relationship with my father , is not good, Mariam has a good relationship with him , but I have very good relationship with my grandpas .-Mama: their Dad loves them very much; he is a very loving father. But Sunshine don't understand that he has different ideas about his way in parenting .But my other two kids adore their father. I know Sunshine will remember how he worries about her health and safety, and how he spends time with her to help her with her study.
Q11Charley: Do you talk a lot with them? About what?-Sunshine : my mom and I talk a lot , about everything , she is my friend , we tell each other everything .-Mama: I have frank relationship with my kids. We talk about every thing. specially about this is right ,that is wrong….we play, we laugh , we make plans ,we spend all the afternoon and evening time together doing things together trying to kill the time as we are always stuck in the house.
Q12Charley: Do you limit their playtime, TV time, computer time?-Sunshine : She does , we have only some programs to watch on TV, she also limits our computer time, but she can be lenient with me in this field , because I am always stuck in the house , and I use the computer wisely and for learning not playing , I see useful programs in TV, and excellent reports, that made me more enlightened. in the summer holiday I do not spend all the time doing a specific thing, yes I spend most of the time on the computer writing , reading blogs , but I also read books whenever we don't have electricity I make handmade work, depending of the chargeable light (Bazooka ) .-Mama: Of course I do. I hate to see the children laying down all day long watching TV, I want them to do something, to create, and pursuing their hobbies.Mariam is in fond of drawing & dancing. She is also very dilapidator (that is how we name her ) she likes to take apart the toys &amp; try to fix them again. When she silently sits for along time in her room, I know she is trying to discover how her toy is working.Sunshine spends good time in reading, writing, listening to music, learning handmade work and this summer holiday she is planning to learn playing on the keyboard.Q13Charley: Sunshine doesn't talk about pets. How do you feel about kidshaving pets?-Sunshine : I like pets , I like puppies , and birds .But I'd never thought to mention that in my posts. I do not think my mom would allow me to bring cats nor dogs to keep our house clean. But I don't think she would mind to bring us birds, if I promise her to feed, and take care of them.-Mama: I like pets, but don't like to bring them to my home .I used to have love birds in my childhood.. They need care, I don't have time &we don't have good farriery. In addition I want to keep the house clean and well organized; with the presence of pets without anyone's help it is impossible to keep it as I wanted to be.
Mama.

unknown future

2006-04-20T06:48:00.000-07:00

Hi,

It is too hard to be afraid from the unknown.
What will happen? what shall I do? What is the proper way to guarantee my kids' future? to leave or to stay? Leave?! Where to?! Does leaving mean that I am an escapist or just a scared mammy?
This is how I keep wondering; thinking and asking my self, but I can't find the answers.
I very much want to be beside my parents, I don't feel ok with their staying in Baghdad. But how? I can't go there, and I'll not be that helpful!!!I wish that my parents can leave to Dubai to stay beside my sister, of course I 'll have no one close from my family ,but at least I shall feel more assured about their safety.
Things are getting worse and no one can tell how will the coming days be like.
For the first time my Dad tells me that he is no more confident, and that there is nothing promising at all, I used to get my power from my dad but now ,what?!
PLEASE DON'T TELL ME TO STAND UP AND TO FIGHT FOR MY COUNTRY, I CAN'T TELL WHO MY ENEMY IS?. I am just an ordinary mom.
Mama…

Happy Easter .

2006-04-16T06:25:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter , and best wishes to everyone .
May peace be all over the earth .
Mama.

Iraqi dreams gone with the winds....

2006-04-02T08:59:00.000-07:00

On the third anniversary of the American invasion, I wanted to compare our sentiment toward the American soldiers. After the invasion we used to drive our cars behind the troops to feel safe and secured from those who may steel our cars, because of the absence of the police at that time. The soldiers were very nice and gentile with every one, specially the children. I still remember the throngs of poor children around the soldiers, who used to give them candies .we used to feel embarrassed because of them .Because we wanted to give good impression about the Iraqis. I remember how I wished that I can shake hands with all the soldiers to show them my gratitude .I used to stand near my kitchen's windows to see the troops coming, I used to pray for their safety. Although we were not having any signs of good ,and secured life. But I had hope and belief that we will have good life and that it was only a matter of time.
My daughter Sunshine was amazed by their courageous, especially when they liberated our neighborhood few months after the invasion from a group of terrorists who attacked the mosque and the nearby police station (you can read about that in this soldier's blog.). She bought a uniform similar to theirs as well a military boots and eye pieces. She tried to look like a soldier.
I remember a friend of mine when she went to a store, and the soldiers who were shopping at that store stepped back to let her do her shopping first.
I also remember sunshine's friend when she told us about her brother when his leg was scratched during playing in the children city, and how the soldiers were very kind to him and first aid his simple injury. She begrudged her brother, because he got all the attention.
I also remember the very very long queue of Iraqi young men , in front of the Americans ' cantonments, looking for jobs.
My mother described the feelings toward the soldiers' debuting In Baghdad as a mixture of astonishment because of the quick collapse of sadams'regim,and a feeling of shame because an extraneous army reverted the regime and not the Iraqis , and because of presence of an invaders on our land. She said "all the neighbors were out side their houses watching the soldiers walking through the neighborhood, with a sight of bewilderment. Some of the neighbors gave them flowers but not all of them; others offered juice to the soldiers. But the majority was only watching".
From the first day the discomfort started when the Americans did not stop the depredation, my father's friend tried to defend one of the official institutions, when he went to the American soldiers asking them to stop the robbers. But the soldiers asked him to go home, if he is not interested to have some of Saddam's booty. He asked other soldiers, but they told him that they did not have orders to stop them. At once he phoned my dad and told him that this army is an invader and not a liberator.
Suddenly after the peaceful relationship between us and the soldiers, things began to completely change dramatically, we started to witness explosions in the streets either cars loaded with bombes, or mines left in the middle of the roads, and the Americans reaction is usually random shooting toward the walkers and many many civilians died since then. As well as robberies, and murders became the usual day threats. In other words "Complete absence of safety measures". We started to live in absolute chaos, and that badly affected the confidence between the two ,and what made things worse is that the American overstated promises , were not ascertained. We were misled, that we will have freedom, justice, sumptuous life, and we will see renovated Iraq soon.
I remember we were promised to be astonished by the difference within 6 months only!.
Now I can't find anyone optimistic about our coming days, every one is disillusioned. We live without electricity, fuel, gasoline, no jobs, no security, absence of all the priorities, the worst medical situation, although we all have high chance to be subjected to injuries or physical and psychological illnesses.
I always wonder what happened. Why? Who is murdering every Iraqi that work as translator, or pressman, or contractor? Who is behind relegating the doctors and the educated Iraqi citizens? Is it not possible for America to have power over that? Who is behind the assassination of many Iraqis every day? Why we became under the same as the Iranian governance? Why we are under an unversed government? We deserve to have peace after all the misery we had under Saddam's regime….don't you think?
Mama….

We lost our family senior,but that wasn't all....

2006-03-08T09:29:00.003-08:00

I can't bear more anxiety, fear, and sadness. Counting our losses every day. Yesterday we lost our dear family senior; he is my father's uncle. He was shot to death by the American soldiers in his parent's in-law neighborhood. He is 78 years old. He was such a great man, educated, warm, and faithful to his wife who died with cancer, he raised his three children by himself to up bring a doctor, an engineer and an accountant. He remained without marriage for twenty years. Then he got married again. He was an ex-officer in the army….We all loved and honored him…we used to gather in his house every Eid; I will miss his kiss over my forehead as he used to, when we kiss him.My uncles and of course my dad considered him their best friend. They had very nice memories together; he was definitely their model…He will be missed by his friends and family, he is that kind of person that leaves emptiness.I couldn't sleep last night, neither my parent's, my husband nor my father in law. I wonder if the soldier who shot him and left him in his car ,asked himself about that old man , did he wondered if he was alive or died immediately?.. Did he sleep as a lamb?! Probably he forgot all about it, and had nice dreams….….The soldiers left him dead in his car after they shot him BY MISTAKE , then Iraqi policemen found him , used his cell phone to call one of the his family members.........
more details about the accident ......

We need help to stop the violence, and the disrespect of the humanity. I am giving some of the details about my relative's accident to seek for help, and investigation. On Wednesday afternoon about 5 pm. My dear grand uncle was shot by many American bullets from the right side while he was driving his car (Dark brown" Opel\vectra", model 1991.), in a residential neighborhood, "Al Tairan ". The report of the forensic doctor mentioned that the victim was turning his head toward the left, when he got the first bullet on his neck (that one caused immediate death), the other was in his upper right side of his chest, and the third bullet was on his upper part of his right arm.Such accidents, I mean shooting innocent people, had been repeated to a large extent that turned the appreciation of the Iraqis toward the American liberation from Saddams' regimen to hate or violence or at least suspicious about the intentions of the Americans' coexistence in Iraq …I doubt, there is any Iraqi still trust the Americans' being in their homeland, even the most peaceful optimistic……..
more about my daily life events....l
on the second day after the accident,I left my bed in the morning to find a sandy storm; I asked Sunshine to stay home to avoid asthma attack. But she refused (self-willed girl)…After an hour, she phoned; as soon as I heard her voice I expected she had asthma attack. But I was wrong; she phoned to tell me that she was in najma's house because a rocket or a bomb exploded to leave some damages in her school, with two injured girls, and 900 terrified girls….
Mama....

Civil Rights in the Middle East...

2006-03-08T09:29:00.000-08:00

Hello Dear readers
I received an invitation from the American Islamic congress, to share in an interesting contest .but unfortunately I can't because of my age (too old to share), they encourage young people in the age of 25 and younger to write about "Civil Rights in the Middle East"…I promised to publicize the essay contest in my blog to see if someone interested to share in this contest, please read this…
Make your voice helpful to others and gainful to you......
Mama………
The “Dream Deferred” Essay Conteston Civil Rights in the Middle East
English French Arabic Farsi
Speak your mind on freedom in the Middle East. Win $2,000!
This essay contest takes its title from a 1951 poem by Langston Hughes: What Happens to a Dream Deferred?. The poem helped propel the civil rights movement in the United States. Today, it will hopefully inspire you to describe your dream deferred for the Middle East, which the United Nations calls the world’s least free region.
The “Dream Deferred” essay contest has two parts: one for Middle Eastern youth (25 and younger) and one for American youth (25 and younger). To participate, all you have to do is write a brief essay (600-2,000 words) addressing one of the questions below. Winners - selected by a panel of celebrity judges - will receive a $2,000 prize, with other prizes for top essays (details below).
Answer one of the following essay questions:
If you live the Middle East...
If you live in America...
1. Why are individual rights important? Explore this question through the impact of repression in your society and in your own life. Describe a personal experience when restrictions prevented you from expressing yourself - for example, when you were afraid to speak out, when information you needed was censored, or when your identity made you a target for discrimination. Consider how civil rights restrictions block a society's creative development, an idea expressed by an 18th Century British reformer: "Without freedom of thought, there can be no such thing as wisdom; and no such thing as public liberty, without freedom of speech."
1. Why should Americans help civil rights reformers in the Middle East? Consider the role outsiders played in the South during the American civil rights movement. Reflect on the challenges faced by today's Middle East reformers, as expressed by a blogger from Bahrain: "We continuously live in abject fear of the rulers and their instruments... If you dissent - and there are many who do - then the wrath of terror is visited upon you and your family. That means no income, no business, no education, no job, and no life. It is a very brave man or woman indeed who bucks the trend." Explore moral and strategic imperatives - as well as the consequences of inaction.
2. How are non-violent campaigns for civil rights making Middle Eastern societies more open? Despite widespread repression, there are new opportunities for expressing yourself and challenging abuses. Identify these changes. Analyze the significance of recent peaceful protests in Lebanon, Egypt, Iran, and beyond. Explain how grassroots movements are making an impact in your society and consider what the next big campaigns might be. Share your own creative ideas for civil rights programs, using new technology and help from concerned Americans.
2. How can you as an individual support the struggle for civil rights in the Middle East? Without waiting for the government to act, consider how you can leverage your freedom to challenge repression by dictators. Reflect on recent technological advances that empower individuals, as well as recent grassroots organizing by people your age across the Middle East. Consider the tools you have access to that American civil rights activists in the 1960s did not. Propose a specific campaign young Americans could lead to help defend civil rights in the Middle East.
3. What is your "dream deferred" - a vision of your society with civil rights for all people? Share your ideas for a future without repression. Describe what is happening in the streets; discussion in classrooms; open criticism of leaders in the media. Consider how equal rights for women and minorities impact everyday life. If you like, answer the question by writing a newspaper article from the year 2010 reporting on a ground-breaking event. Don't be afraid to dream, but make sure to ground your vision with substance.
3. What might the future look like if Americans partner effectively with Middle Eastern reformers? Envision a focused movement and describe it in action: What are its slogan, symbols, and campaigns? What individual rights has it secured? Consider the obstacles surmounted and the factors behind the movement's success. If you like, write a newspaper article from the year 2010 reporting on the accomplishments of this new civil rights alliance. Don't be afraid to dream, but make sure to ground your vision with substance.
GUIDELINES
Make sure your essay clearly answers one of the questions above. Essays must be between 600 and 2,000 words – in English, French, Arabic, or Farsi. Anyone under the age of 26 can submit an essay. Contestants must either reside in Arab League member countries, Iran, or the United States. See the "Rules and Guidelines" page for more information.
PRIZES
There is $10,000 in available prize money.
One grand prize winner in the Middle East and one in the US will receive $2,000;
One second place winner in the Middle East and one in the US will receive $1,500;
Three runners up in the Middle East and three in the US will receive $500 each;
Book prizes will be awarded to additional outstanding essays.
DEADLINE
March 31, 2006
Click here to submit your essay.
© 2006 Hands Across the Mideast Support Alliance. All rights

Harbored Actualities

2006-03-03T09:42:00.000-08:00

Hello all
I want to be honest with you , I decided to stop writing ,I thought it's worthless ,and as it wasn't easy for me to have time ,or power in the proper time ,I thought no one will even notice if I stopped , but I received some letters recently that made me consider my decision for awhile , at least till I say what I want to say about the latest events and the escalation of violence in my country ..
Let me start from what happened in Samara.
Samara for me is one of the famous ancient edifices, which is too cherishable to all Iraqis... no one sees it's golden dome and forgets it's beauty ,it's not just hallowed to some Iraqis but also beloved ,I am describing it's dearness to make you imagine how devil is the faction that dared to blew it…
Then the media started to show that the Sunnis blew the Shiite's shrine, they forgot to mention that this shrine lies in what they call them Sunni's land from more than thousand year… and then the subversion started to expand, about 200 mosques in Baghdad alone were attacked savagely by brutes wearing the black , many innocent elders and young men died and thrown in the streets ,others were taken away and not found, my mom described the situation for me , three mosques in their neighborhood were either burned or exploded , while their inmates, like al- imam or sentry, were murdered without mercy ,those MURDERERS did not come after midnight or came swiftly , they came in the midday ,and stayed in the neighborhoods for hours and burned every mosque more than once , they prowled for hours and No police or national guards stopped them . to give you an example there is a mosque just in front of the oil, transportation &irrigation ministries , that mosque was burned three times in one day , three men were killed ,many young men live in that street were beaten and then taken away and the huge NO. Escorts of these ministries did not do any thing to stop them, they were very dominator, just like if they were having an official errand, and that what I believe ….
No Muslim" Sunni or Shiite" can do that, only assassins dare to , they conducted like Al- Tatar….
May Allah bless Iraq and it's martyrs…
Ps: those two vocabularies (which I dislike) "Sunni, and, Shiite" are too strange and in fact intruders to us since the war..
Mama…

Be reasonable......can you see democracy here?.

2006-02-17T10:42:00.001-08:00

I can say that the people in this country are neglected, that what I can see through my daily life events and during work .To give you an example, today at work we did not have electricity in the village's hospital; we did not have fuel for the generator, and we received Two emergency cases, the first one was a woman with labor troubles( she is also a nurse in the same hospital) , the other one was a few months old baby with difficulty in breathing .The doctors decided to take the mother quickly to the main hospital in Mosul with the only ambulance we have, but they knew that the baby will not survive , and that what happened, we lost the baby boy.
The child who wasn't able to breathe had to wait for a long time in the very cold corridor for the electricity to be put on the ventilator; you can imagine his parents feelings at that time, I couldn't withstand the situation, I picked up the phone and called the electricity control section in the city center,I shouted ,I begged, I cried ,I made them give us electricity to save the child ,but I am still very much angry because of the bad health services and bad equipments, ……
My husband's grandma died in the hospital when she needed oxygen after bone fixation surgery, because they did not have tube for the respirator…
A doctor colleague lost her child during caesarian delivery, because of the absence of oxygen in the operation room…..
There are so many worse examples about the health state in this country … The hospitals are so dirty, and their worst state……
Can a country in such condition be described as a democratic one!!
Mama............

May peace be all over the world.......

2005-12-27T10:09:00.000-08:00

Hello all I hope you enjoyed Christmas, and had memorable day with your families, I really wanted my Iraqi Christian friends to enjoy Christmas, but may be through this post you can imagine what a MEMORABLE Eid they had !!!
These days the weather became very cold, the temperature is 2-3 degrees under zero … this cold weather synchronize with not only the raise in the oil, fuel prices but with its exiguity….yesterday my baby (20 months old) cried freezing at night, we have oil storage but we tried to sleep without (soba) an oil heater, to save it for the rest of winter. We get the electricity for ONLY 2 hours a day now, we also don't have hot water!. Since a week now the gas stations in Mosul are shut down , therefore the gasoline in the black market is very expensive, going to my job plus my two daughters'& husband's transportation expense is at least 170000 ID whereas our income together ( my husband & I) is 501000ID !!!We also buy gasoline for the generator!!…
About the safety situation these days while we are waiting for the elections results ,we witness every day the violence in the streets , today I was in my way back from work when suddenly the driver stopped and shouted "disembark quickly" ,as soon as I did a bullet flapped the pavement just beside my foot , I did not feel that, I was shocked , but we ran to a storage a cross the street , the storage owner kept saying 'Thank god you are ok ",I did not get that ',then the driver( who could not make it & follow us to the storage )came after things calm down with some people were in the street telling me that they got terrified to see what happened & show me the bullet….
When sunshine phoned her friend to wish her a merry Christmas, her friend was not happy at all, they could not leave the house because it's dangerous to go out & because they don't have gasoline. Some of our friends did not even go to the church because of the fear of bombing the church ….(I think you can see we are too busy with our life struggles to think about the elections results!)….
Happy New Year, may peace be all over the world …
Mama………..

Not appropriate for human use.......

2005-12-23T09:55:00.000-08:00

Hello,
All our agonies you may at least have an idea about from the media. But today I am going to talk about something may be the media did not focus onto, it's about the bad sources of goods in the markets, without quality control. Almost everything in the market is from the cheapest sources, but with expensive prices, the most dangerous thing is the food & medications' types….
As I am a functionary in the medical field we know the kinds of food stuffs that are not appropriate for human use …some of them are carcinogenic but are available in the markets since a long time, without any attention from the government toward that important issue, others (like gums) cause sterility because of the high amount of hormones in it, as well as a long list of baby milk, chips, cans food that cause gastric disturbances, we get official laboratory reports from the ministry of health about the list of the unhealthy food stuff in the markets but without any important steps to stop it's usage…
About medications it's another tragedy, imagine the patient with hypertension or diabetes, and take inactive medicine….
I used many types of antipyretics to reduce Miriam's temperature during her illness, but many of them were inactive, I hope they were not harmful as well ….the analgesics, antibiotics all can be inactive or harmful, as once the doctor prescribed erythromycin syrup to Miriam , she told me that the medicine smelled bad , I tested it , it was septic….
My daughters & I are asthmatic, we always need to use bronchodilator inhalers, but they are not effective at all, and test so bad….may Allah be with the Iraqi patients …
Mama…….

Happiness & Health....

2005-12-18T02:24:00.001-08:00

These are some photos of my daughter Miriam, some them are old & some of them was taken last summer she looked more healthy and happy than she dose in these days. She gets sick more often nowadays, she feel depressed & she has many boring times, she rarely leave the house unless she is going to school, which is a bad school, we had to register her in this school, because it is the nearest to our house, I wanted her to study in the best school like her sister .My heart broken every time I go to her school & see the status of the teachers, pupils, and the education she got there. She needs to have fun, to run, to see nice places, to play …
laughter enhance the immunity & I very much believe that the children & the adults are very often get sick nowadays in my country because of the bad atmosphere & bad mood we are in….
Merry Christmas to you all …
Mama……

More news about us..

2005-12-18T02:24:00.000-08:00

Hello friends
Thank you for your concern about my daughter's health , she is better now , but still weak, & with bad appetite .. we are looking forward to be able to take her to the doctor to check her again.
Yesterday we VOTED, everything went so good we easily voted &returned back safely . But my cousins' wives, my uncle's wife , some family friends were not allowed to vote ,because of technical error or ???!!!! they voted last time & shared in the referendum for the constitution , but now they were told your names are not in this poll center ,some friends we know live in Baghdad since 1990, they were told that they should vote in Basrah !!!!
In Baghdad the night before the elections , people were terribly disturbed , they were awaked after midnight at announcement by the loudspeakers, warning them not to drink water because it's poisoned , everyone kept calling friends ,relatives & neighbors to warn them , then in the morning the health minister negated that ……
Mama........

Unease circumstances...with sick child ..

2005-12-10T02:41:00.000-08:00

Dear friends
My little girl Miriam was ill since last Sunday , she suffered from very high fever( 40 c) , nausea , vomiting & photophobia , she had certain viral infection that made her so tired & suffered from dehydration , where as the circumstances in Mosul are not encouraging& the roads are scary ,we are under emergency state nowadays before the elections , we had to take her to hospital twice, but as I am a dentist I know many doctors that offered to help as well as some doctors from the family . we had to give her intravenous fluid at home . That was not easy in these circumstances , we don’t have good phone services ,some times it is completely out of work , the roads are locked , the bridges can be blocked suddenly many times during the day, and we have a sick child , at night we have stroll ban , and in the coming days the stroll ban will be during the day as well. We needed the doctor advice many times during the day , and during the night for many days ,we had to go through all that among a stress condition and it is not easy to contact with the doctor or to bring the medications needed .
Thanks to" Allah" She is getting better now….
Thanks to all who helped my daughter , thanks to my faithful friend Dave who kept supporting me through his continuous mails& messages from his work and from his car day & night ….
Hope that things get better during & after the elections , and the Iraqis will have an easy life with no more suffering ..
Hope that things go well and easy for every one , stay safe & keep praying for the Iraqis specially the children……
Mama………

Another home inspection experience..

2005-12-02T03:01:00.000-08:00

Hi there.
Last Wednesday , our house was inspected again by the Us soldiers , I will not repeat what sunshine wrote about ,I will describe each one of us during that inspection ,
Mariam my 7 years old daughter she stopped focusing on the soldiers guns from the first sucker she got from them , although she remained cohered to me .
Yosif my 19 months old son , he was busy sucking his first sucker , you can't imagine what did he do to his face , hands &his clothes , I had to re-bath him after he finished it, & brush his tiny teeth.
My mother in law remained suspicious for a while then became more comfortable …..
My father in law … forgot the English words … but listened attentively to our conversations with relief ……..
My poor husband , he went before the soldiers had come in, to buy some pencils to the girls , but he couldn't enter the neighborhood until the whole neighborhood was inspected , he was worried about us ( you know we hear many stories , some of them are rumors & lies , some of them could be true without knowing who was the trouble maker in each story, but some Iraqis find inspection humiliating & refuse to cooperate , some times the soldiers are nervous and patient less, some have bad attitude)….
Mama(me).. so embarrassed as It was the first time I sit among strangers with my bed suit on & so amazed from sunshine ability to talk that much with hoarse voice !, how could she made a friendly atmosphere!, and how could she enjoy all circumstances in her life ……….
Sunshine….she enjoyed every moment! , she talked in every single moment!... what did she talk about ? or may the question should be put in this way, what she did not talk about?!...she asked the soldiers about their names ,unit , their homeland ,their BOOTS, their friends ,etc…
she definitely did not miss a moment to make friend relationships with them ,she also discussed her blog with them after she made them read it !!!…..
she took photograph for them , made them wait till she brought her film camera after her trial to take a photo with the digital camera , but the batteries were of law power , she simply smiled saying that that was bad luck…..
unbelievable………..
Mama………

Unbeleavable but true

2005-11-27T09:00:00.000-08:00

A new doctor came to work in the same clinic where I work , she is nice , active ,& very polite .Her husband is a doctor too , he is a surgeon .He teaches in the medical college in Mosul ,& he also have a private clinic . so you see he works most of the day & some times at night too. Those couple come from a very well-mannered family. Those two have beautiful three years old girl & one year old son .
They all live in ONE ROOM & SLEEP IN ONE BED, can you believe that they don't have a house , & are not able to buy one because of the law salaries of the doctors & the very high prices of the houses , they can't even rent one .
That is not the end of my story which is not weird specially for the Iraqis , but the three brothers in law of this colleague are married, have kids & live in the same house !!!!
Do you know how many kids are there in that family house ?
TWELVE !!!!! They all sit on one table for three meals among the uproar.
I wonder how can she & her husband sleep with two kids in their bed ?!.......
or how could they take a nap while there are twelve kids in the house ?! ……
Mama…………..

Al mahmodia - hospital tragedy

2005-11-25T00:23:00.000-08:00

Why would any one dare to kill innocent patients , children ,doctors in a hospital ? That what happened in Al- mahmodia hospital where at least 50 Iraqis died. My cousin is a doctor in Mahmodia she fortunately survived ,but her colleagues and patients did not. She was picked out from the wreckage ,one of the national guards took her out with one of the nurses, during her way out she saw the died bodies of her friends and her patient who had just gave birth & was taken out of the delivery room ……..
children & infants were among the victims , the American soldiers were giving them some toys and presents but they did not got time to enjoy playing with their new toys. the new mothers did not have the chance to enjoy their motherhood…..
My lucky cousin 's twins survived a month ago from a shell fell on their classroom , but not all their dear class mate were , my cousin said that only yesterday I realized how terrible their experience was …..
Mama…..

Only two hours a day.....

2005-11-24T02:28:00.000-08:00

Electricity for two hours a day.. that was what we get in the last few days. That means I should do so many things in these two hours , I should use the carpet cleaner , do the laundry , ironing ,I should prepare the bathroom as we need heater , we all should have our shower during these two hours , because the weather is cold now in Mosul, then I should hurry to use the hair drier!! some times I need the microwave to defrost some food or I need to use the computer to talk to my sister ,relatives, friends, , or to write a post or read & send e- mails. so many things should be done in a limited time ,and some times we get the electricity in a bad time for example after midnight , or I am out .It is so hard to live without electricity.
At work the generator was idle ,some times I am in the middle of an operation ,and the electricity is suddenly out of work, we can't continue ,the patient is under local anesthesia , and as faster the operation can be done ,the less post operative complications could occur.….
Of course many other things are badly affected due to the lack of electricity, like those who need it in their work ,as in the factories , ,computers of the banks and others, not necessarily there are generators everywhere , although they are common nowadays….
As the Iraqis are well-known to be chaotic , you can (or probably you can't) imagine how the things are in the crowded streets without traffic lights ….can you? ….
I will leave the rest bad effects like the "economical" for your imaginations…..
Mama….

.

That's why?

2005-11-11T10:15:00.000-08:00

I was blamed by some of my blog readers for being hopeless, in my previous post. That made me wondering ;
How would you feel if you see ,children with painful carious teeth , abscesses,& other mouth diseases with no hope to treat that because of poverty & because the government don't provide the least medical care required for the col?
How would you feel if you see a school without electricity & the children are studying in the darkness& freezing in the classroom with no heat in very cold weather?
How would you feel if you see children in the classroom have no seats in their classrooms ?
How would you feel if you see two different classes( third & fourth , fifth & sixth)studying in one classroom at the same time ?!
How would you feel if you see every day tens or more of people from your country dying because of lack of security ?
How would you feel if you know that your blood is the cheaper among all?
How would you feel if you live in a country floating on oil , & it's people are freezing in winter?
How would you feel if your country is destructed & need rebuilding , but you see dishonesty, cheating & larceny in the authorities ?
How would you feel if you live among countries that so much cared because of the bird –flu disease & made the best procedures to protect their people & your (elected ,democratic government ) not even aware of that danger on it's people ?
How would you feel if you see all that & much more in the richest country in the world?
How would you feel if you work in a medical field & you see all the suffer & you can't do much?

Mama……..

Excuse me for that ..

2005-11-09T01:43:00.000-08:00

To those who are still optimistic about Iraq future , I doubt that I agree with you I know you want to see the democracy in my free country ,but you don't see what I see
I can't be sure about the shiny future ahead ,while I can see death , devastation, sadness in the children's eyes ,I saw the residues of beloved Baghdad , where is the beauty of our capital ?, there are only destructed buildings ,blocked streets , dirts everywhere . sadness in every eye, bad stories in Eed , deep sighs from every Iraqi , sicknesses without cure , moreover , so many new Sadaams in the Iraqi new government .
Mama................

I am back ...

2005-10-29T05:09:00.000-07:00

Oh ,I am back ….
It seems like I was in another world .
Anyway two days ago I saw a report in TV about animals police inUSA That was amazing , how wonderful ,how affectionate those policemen are. I remembered those policemen in the villages we visited with the ambulatory clinic , we need so many of them in Iraqi villages ,my heart was broken , the animals are uncared for , you can't imagine how bad the situations are. But maybe you will , if I described the people life there . What I saw was beyond description , children surviving among ,poverty , illness , & asperity of the life & of the desperate parents. The kids should endure the cold weather with barefoot ,& light clothes . They should endure pain & illness , because the parents can't afford for the treatment ,whereas the governmental hospitals are more poor than those patients. I saw miserable cases , so many orphans, many heartbreaking stories , so many handicapped people ,blind ,deaf kids ,one of the reasons behind that is the irradiants materials were buried in these areas by the X regimen . And those people were used to dig , without warning them about the hazard of handling these materials . Then after the collapse of the x-regimen, these people stole the equipments ,& machines from the Factory that deal with radioactive materials. We also knew that those areas don't receive drinking water from the nearby water project ,they have to buy it with the same water tank cars that were used by the government to transfer hazardous radioactive materials (uranium), & those cars are still used to bring drinking water to the villages..
I told you it is beyond description ..........
The only good benefit of this program is to vaccinate the pupils in schools , whom they are only small ratio of the children in the villages ….
I will go to my parents house in Baghdad to spend "Eed" there hope to heal my wounds………
Wish me safe trip my dears….
Mama………

Ambulatory clinic

2005-10-23T07:07:00.000-07:00

In the last two days , I saw in my way to work, mines left in the middle of the road . American experts were trying to lift them . I feel miserable before going to work , and keep worry all daylong during the work about the road safety in my way back home .
Tomorrow I will start the annual program ,in which the doctors and dentists should visit the schools in the remote villages , to check the pupils for vaccinations, medical & dental health ( ambulatory clinic).The authorities don’t accept any excuse in such programs ,like dangerousness, lack of gasoline , the imbursing of the program .Moreover this program is mostly formalistic ,as most of the dental fillings & preventive materials are unavailable.
It 's really hard to conserve my job ,and not easy to abdicate it.
(I will write, in-shalla, about this program in the coming days , keep praying for me ,please, till then)….
Mama………..

childhood dificulties ...can be hurdled

2005-10-18T12:34:00.000-07:00

I talked ,& sunshine too about internet in her life ,but I wanted to give you an Idea about her day if we don't have internet , she completes her home work & then will watch TV all day long ,listing to NEWS ,because that what all grown-ups do here ,or probably listen to those grown-ups' stories about the tragic accidents they heard or saw .Of course those stories will be with so many horrible details ,with describing the pain and shock of the bereft family . Those grown-ups don't care if a child is listening ,they don't pay any attention to what these stories & news could more worsen the kids psychological conditions, they are already afraid & heard enough terrifying explosions, shots, stories about murders ,kidnappings ,threatening ,they can see the fear in our eyes , that is more than enough to ruin their childhood & psychological condition.
I try to protect my children from listening to such stories , but they also catch some from school mates or teachers , or relatives .
Now we are all stuck at home ,but the internet allowed Sunshine to meet my relatives who live in Canada,USA,Libya ,Jordan, Dubai , UK , Egypt….
As well as to talk to friends in different parts of the world while she is stuck just like the others but at least she made relationships & not been isolated from the world. Many people wondered how she could keep this spirit ,& remain optimism , that is all because of you support ,through your E-mails , your comments & your talk with her. Thank you for your precious time. You can't imagine how these COMMENTS please her , it is your gree that she don't feel lonely although she is alone.
But what worries me is that she is either sitting behind her desk to study ( at both school& at home ), or sitting in front of her computer , & she can't move more than walking in side the apartment .The kids here don't run , don't play , don’t share in any type of games or sport match,& in our schools they canceled the sport classes(not officially , but don't heed the importance of sport ) which is now of a very important benefits than any other time because those kids are imprisoned at their homes and schools & some of them have their own pain due to losing some of their dears or could have personal or familial problems ,who doesn't have , in such tense situations where every one is so nervous.
Mama…..

To be honest..

2005-10-16T06:51:00.000-07:00

I believe that every one who kill innocent people :in their way ,in their houses ,their cars, schools, weddings, relatives' funerals, during shopping , in the mosque, in the church ,etc ( that 's how Iraqis get killed every day) are terrorists.
The bullet could come from the American troops during their fights against those who attacked them, or from the attackers , Or death could happen due to explosion, from a car bomb or mine left in the middle of the roads that are usually used by EVERYONE .
To those who are fighting in the middle of the crowds , you are not warranted to spoil our life safety. YOU ARE ALL TERRORISTS. Who ever you are , what ever you nationality is , what ever your religion is( I don’t thing that those who kill are religious because in every celestial religion killing is not forgivable & not allowed), & What ever your aim is The excuse of ending the occupation is a big lie , although some of you do believe in it , but you are killing your own people , children, women , youths , ALL are innocent .Can't you think for a while about the losses of your country because of you (If you do , you will stop considering your selves as faithful to your country).. . Although I don’t think you truly believe in that .
In the other hand I still don’t rely the troops blindly ,they could shoot randomly as a reaction of an attack they can face at any where and every time , or because of their anger , or hate because of loosing their dear friends .But believe me I relied them three years ago…..
Mama…..

My life joy...

2005-10-16T04:17:00.000-07:00

My daughter (Sunshine) ,in my graduation ceremonies... Mama..

I made up my mind ...

2005-10-15T08:59:00.000-07:00

I hurdled my fears & maze & went to VOTE . we were only few people because It was only 8 in the morning , but I saw many people standing out side their houses espying .
Then at the midday the number of voters very much increased .
Any way I had a different opinion among my family members ( my husband& parents in law).
In our the neighborhood there were four centers for referendum , thanks to Allah everything went fine .
My conclusion is this, people voted YES to prostrate terrorism , and to get rid of the disarray life we live right now & not YES for the constitution it self.
And those who said NO said it to reject the idea of obeying orders from those who institute that everyone should say YES for a constitution, which very few had the chance to have a look at in the last few hours before referendum .
Stay safe ….
Mama …

Tomorrow is a big day....

2005-10-14T11:10:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is suppose to be the big day (referendum day)…
I can't made up my mind about………….. what shall I do?
What shall I choose ?...am I be safe?
If I go( from the point of view that I should have a role in my country's arising) ,but I don't have the last transcription of the rectified constitution ,I refuse the idea of following a party ,or any other political group ,& they read the constitution for me & decide what I should choose… I can't trust any political direction ,& indeed I don't trust politicians…..
If I go & threat my life for sharing & deciding my children's future & to determine their life figure , Will that referendum be authentic? shall I be back safe to my children ?...............
If I will have a chance to read the rectified constitution & said YES, for something I am not even satisfied with , I will regret that for the rest of my life ( hope to have long one ),If I choose NO ,we will be back to the disarray again.
Believe me I asked everyone I know about their opinion , they did not made up their mind too ,we are all confused ..
The media here concentrate about the decision , & how we should all say YES ! but they don't mention YES for what ?! They don't discuss the constitution items & it's returns ….
How wearied ?! A very Important decision for our country ,in a very important stage , & the media here don't make any effort to explain the constitution ………..
Mama ….

For Iraqis only

2005-10-13T11:10:00.000-07:00

We should free our selves from us ,to live in peace ,& to rebuilt our country. Many of our functionaries don’t do their jobs in dedication, as teachers, doctors , industrial workers ,engineers etc. Every citizen should be loyal & honest .
Every one of us experienced a bad behavior of some functionaries, when we need some papers to be done ,for example ,or when we have a patient in hospital, or when we have children in schools, or as a student in the university. WHY?
During the last regime, the excuse was low salary , now uncomfortable life , then what?!!!!
The worse model of dedication was when the contractors cheated in reconstructing buildings supposed to be for us….
As a Muslim ,you can never be considered as Muslim ,unless Muslims will be out of harm's way of your hand, or tongue( That how we learned from our prophet Mohammad).Or even for the non Muslims citizens , as an Iraqi we should have a new start to be a faithful citizen to own this country . We learned to be strangers in our country (as it was the X-regime's yes- men country), but now we should exploit this chance to own our country .
We so much need to woke up , free our selves & to depurate our behavior from the sediments of the last episode , when we learned to be uncared for…
That’s what I wanted to say ,for all of us, including my self…..
( hey .. Why did you read this post .. wasn't mentioned that it is only for Iraqis ?! never mind I was just kidding )…
Mama…

What a day.....

2005-10-13T09:23:00.000-07:00

Today was another bad day in my daughters life , Sunshine talked about her day briefly in her post .
Mariam who is only 7 years old had her own bad experience too . The schools here in Mosul compels the pupils to come to school by the exams. After two hours in school the teachers realized that things are getting worse , they released the pupils to go back home without waiting for their buses , their parents & their hired cars. Even without calling their families ( so irresponsible).
A 12 years old pupil from the same school ,came to our house to tell us that our daughter is crying alone in the street .
My husband immediately went to bring her back home , she kept crying ,she was so scared …
I was tense all the day yesterday waiting for sunshine ,I heard many explosions during the day , I couldn’t reach her by phone, the phone lines in our neighborhood is disconnected , her mobile phone show out of the coverage area . I was relieved when she came although she was so angry & scared .
Then what happened to Mariam upset me so much .
After that tough day I had bad headache (Migraine) ,I had to stay in bed for the rest of the day….
I am so angry , the teachers do not have mercy , they are so selfish& irresponsible ………..
Mama ….

good night ...........

2005-10-11T10:19:00.000-07:00

What a night this night was?! In fact we can hardly sleep these days. I can't say or remember when was the last time I slept in a peaceful quiet night .Every night after the errantry ban the main road behind our house become so noisy because of the American troops that don’t stop . locomotion all night long . you may not imagine how much noise do these vehicles make. Not just the vehicles noises , but also the low flying helicopters .
Do you think that's all? Come on , nothing like sudden loud explosions of the shells , that the terrorists shell them toward the nearby police station . that make us run out of our beds & rooms , some times we miss where the door is because of being sleepy scared & in a hurry .
Last week sudden very loud thunder awaked us after midnight , the girls ran to my bed room , sunshine said mama this explosion is so close to our house my room was lightened , then she heard the rain.
Some times the police suspect something in the middle of the darkness they start shooting in the air ,at the first couple shots we remain in our beds ,waiting with suspense , then if that turned to a real battle we start running to the corridor where there is no windows.
And if we had sort of quiet night my day events may keep me awake , like what happened to me today , the doctors & I were stuck inside the gasoline station when heavy shooting started inside the station , I was scared to death , I thought I will die either by a bullet, or fire ,or from scare. I arrived home shaking ,I think that won't let me sleep without horrible nightmare .
Good night ………..
Mama………..

Interview between an Iraqi & American bloggers...

2005-10-09T11:23:00.000-07:00

Dear friends
Few weeks ago Jennifer (American Blogger) made an interview with me in her blog I thought it would be ok If I share it with you :

Name: Mama
Age:34
Location: Mosul / Iraq

Thepatriot15: First of all I have to ask how you found out about blogging, and why you started your own blog ?
Mama: my sister Rose Baghdad had one as well as her husband. I liked the idea; first I encouraged my daughter Sunshine to have one, then I thought it is a good way to express my feelings & to make friendships. I felt depressed & lonely & I wanted to have friends to share my feelings & to get support from..
Thepatriot15: Do you see or communicate with U.S. soldiers very often?
Mama: No
Thepatriot15: How do you feel towards America ?
Mama: I like the American people, I have many dear American friends , but I feel suspicious about the intentions of the American government.
Thepatriot15: How do you get news about America ?
Mama: I like to hear good news about every country & it's people. I believe that the Americans & the soldiers want to fight the terrorists, but I also believe that they were exploited because of that by the government.
Thepatriot15: When U.S. troops moved into Iraq after the attacks on the U.S. on 9/11, what was your first reaction and how did you feel?
Mama: My first reaction was a mixture of new hope for having a good future with so much fear from the war itself. I was worried to death about my family in Baghdad, especially during the war I couldn’t know anything about them for very long time. But in fact we believed we would have a better life, if we survived.
Thepatriot15: What do you feel is the biggest change made in Iraq since the U.S. moved in and eliminated leaders such as Saddam Hussein?
Mama: let me tell you something; we are so happy to get rid of Saddam but we did not enjoy that, because of the fear we live in now. We almost live in the middle of streets war. The way to the life of freedom & democracy is so very rugged.
Thepatriot15: Do you appreciate these changes?
Mama : Those how paid their lives as a price to help the Iraqis to get rid of the dictator get lots of appreciation not just from me, but from all who wanted to have freedom. But about the changes, we didn’t get its outgrowth yet. We live in chaos, we feel insecure. We suffer from lack of electricity, we are so much in need of a healthy environment, good medical health and a good education for our children.
Thepatriot15: What was it like before U.S. troops moved in ?
Mama: We lived in our country like strangers. Iraq was the home land of Saddam & to his yes-men. We didn’t have any rights here & not yet.
Thepatriot15: How has your vision for your family’s future changed since the start of Operation Iraqi Freedom?
Mama: First I was sooo optimistic, but now I am so much confused, scared & unsettled.
Thepatriot15: Would you feel safer if U.S. troops left now, or waited until the Iraqi forces are stronger?
Mama: If the American troops left now, that will be execution to the Iraqis.
Thepatriot15: If you have read Iraq’s new constitution, how do you feel about it?
Mama: it’s a bunkum, not a constitution. That will lead us to more havoc.
Thepatriot15: How do you feel about America?
Mama: I like the American people; many of them sympathize with the Iraqis. It's just about the government I don't trust their intentions, like conveying their enemy to my country after the 9/11, with the name of freeing us.
Thepatriot15: How do you feel that your role as a woman has changed since Operation Iraqi Freedom started?
Mama: Nothing has changed yet. But from the beginning I wasn't shackled because of being a women.
Thepatriot15: Do you feel more confident?
Mama: I was more confident three years ago. I mean immediately after the operation. Now I am scared and insecure.
Thepatriot15: What dreams do you have for your children’s future?
Mama: They are so many; I want them to have a secure country that gives them their rights and offers them protection. I want them to get a good education; to be able to make future plans and to be able to accomplish their dreams. I want them to have fun and enjoy their life. I want them to have a respectful life. I don’t want to see them scared any more. I want them to get good medical care when they need it, and I want them to live in healthy environment. I have many, many dreams, and I hope they become true.
Those are my opinions ,and believes……….
Mama……….

More losses .....more pain

2005-10-08T04:22:00.000-07:00

Hello friends........
I usually feel relieved on weekends , because my kids are at home & I don't have to worry about their safety .
But this weekend was different. My husband's friend" N" was murdered on Wednesday , he is a police officer. He was murdered by some terrorists while he was leaving the house ,going to his work. Then two functionaries he knows were murdered on Thursday. My husband feel so sad , angry & sorry.
N was a dear friend of my husband since childhood ,they both lived in the same neighborhood. He has two years old kid& two months old twin. His wife is in her twenties.
This is the third dear friend we lose ,the first one was also murdered by the terrorists ( you can read about that in my previous post what was his guilt ?) . The other one passed over a bomb with his car in the middle of the road near to his house ,he was an electrical engineer .He was so nice , gentle, polite & intelligent .He was in my age ,a father of two children.
May Allah bless their souls……….
Mama………

Although..........

2005-10-04T12:34:00.000-07:00

Although we live in a floating country on a sea of oil ,We live in a scrimping & lack of fuel. -
-Although Iraq has large areas of agrarian lands , and we have two great rivers but those lands are barren & forgotten. And Iraq import bounties , wheat , rice& the alimentary needs.
-Although we have dreams & ambitions , we are dormant & not racing the time.
-Although we have good water sources most of the Iraqis are thirsty .
-Although we have good water sources ,we are in rich country ,with huge amount of oil We almost live without electricity in the 21 century .
-Although I am in my thirties I feel like I am in my nineties.
-Although our country is supposed to be rich , you can't count the poor ignored people& orphans.
-Although our country need to develop & to be rebuild again , most of Iraqis are jobless.
-Although we, the Iraqis are so much in need to be gathered , we are so much apart now days.
- Although my writings give the expression of a desperate writer behind these writings , but believe or not I am humorist person among my family & friends .
-Although I tried to be optimist during fear & anxiety, but I admit that I opined that death could be more relieving.
-Although you are wondering how can you help desperate Mama , you already did by reading my post .
Thank you ……..
Mama…….

The truth....

2005-09-27T03:29:00.000-07:00

Dear friends
When America decided to liberate Iraq from the x- regime , I believed that a life full of pleasure is coming. I thought every one will have a job , we will have rights & respect in our country , we will be able to live free & to put forward a normal , happy life, with good future to our children, with no fear &no pain .I thought the Iraqis will promptly start rebuilding their country & will try so hard to contest to convoy the world development .I thought we will built beautiful country , & could be a model for the others ( like the Japanese when they stood up again after the war ).I thought we will live in a rich , well developed country .I thought we will develop the health& education institutions .I thought we will live in good environment free of pollution .I dreamed we can travel & see the world which we are part of it , I thought we will list fun among our priorities. I thought no more tension & no more tears will roll down my eyes , unless tears of happiness. I believed I will be optimism & cheerful again as I used to be …….
I was either tricked ,or may be I was dreaming ………
Then I woke up to see a life full of tears, pain ,fear ,tension ,more pollution ,more backwardness, bad expectations with no hope………
Mama…………

Birthdays parties

2005-09-22T22:29:00.000-07:00

Today is my mother birthday , I couldn’t sent her her birthday present because we don’t have post services, I couldn't find any travelers to Baghdad, I can't get Baghdad on phone to send her my best regards &to send her my wishes & love ….
She will celebrate her birthday this year with my Dad, without me , without her grandchildren even without Rose & her husband &daughter ( my sister moved to Dubai you know)……..
I know that she feel lonely this birthday ,we all used to gather & celebrate the birthdays together …………
In the last three years ,I couldn’t make any birthday parties for my children ,as we use to invite their friends & make very nice parties , but now no one would come because we live near a police station & many attacks & fights occur nearby ,as well as the bridges could be blocked at any time, and there is a big problem it's the gasoline shortage ,& the very high price of the gasoline in the black market………
Mama……
.

good news

2005-09-20T11:07:00.000-07:00

Hello
Yesterday my sister Rose received the inhalers Luke sent, Sunshine &I are so pleased & thankful to you Luke you are a real& dear friend . I know you will say that's what Bloggers for…..
Mama……..

The psychological war

2005-09-19T23:59:00.000-07:00

Hello dear friends
Every day we are under the pressure of rumors ,the previous regime members ( they are so many ), work hard to destroy us through rumors which are dangerous & effective weapons ( just like what they did in Al-aema bridge ) they killed thousand of people by one rumor, when someone said a man will explode himself , people were panicked & began to run ,they thronged over each other , many of them threw them selves to the river, I know that happened three weeks ago but I wanted to mention it as an example for the rumors danger.
Every day I go to work I face many rumors , although I try to calm my self & to be careful not to be deceived ,but I work outside the town &I am worried about my family safety , so I can't stop worry among these rumors. I hear about people were kidnapped & killed , kids were killed by gun shots while they were leaving their school , I hear about explosions happened in Mosul or Baghdad & hundreds of people were killed ,& so many scary stories .Some of them are true many of them are not.
We can't be aware ,because we don’t have good & innocent local news sources, & not all what happen is mentioned in the other news channels .I feel miserable I should not believe their swearing, or their assertion ,it's too hard I need to be reassured not be more frightened …

Mama............