talk about my life as a young mother hoping to do the best for her children in spite of the life difficulies.As a Dentist I want to share you my occupational ticklers...

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Location: mosul, Iraq

I am a 37 years old mom ,I am a mother of 3 children. I am a Dentist. I try to make every thing perfect. The life I have, the difficulties I face make me anxious.. I like to have a social life; I cannot resist my feeling of being lonely, but I don’t have good social life, & I am lonely.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

The fourteenth of December


Sad and happy events happened at the first day at work after
Eid, at about 9 am, we knew that a very famous prof.
surgeon was shot, he is also the dean of the medical college in mosul .we were all shocked and awfully sad and did not know how serious his injuries were, and whether he was still a life or not!!!. Many famous surgeons rushed to the emergency department and immediately undergo seplenectomy, we heard the details of his condition and everything happened in the operation room and our emotions were swinging up and down during his operation, feeling very frustrated and praying for him all the day .his medical students, colleagues, relatives, neighbors, nearby shop owners rushed to donate their blood. I returned home depressed with bad headache and immediately had a long nap to escape from the reality. I did not leave my bed till noon time to prepare dinner .TV was on, when I read the subtitle news about the Iraqi journalist that throw Bush during his conference with his shoes. But I didn't see the video. During dinner I told my daughter, but she didn't comment. While I was talking with her, BD the Iraqi blogger sent me an SMS telling me that Bush was humiliated in an unbelievable way, and telling me that he was looking for the video in the internet and TV channels. In fact I did not have time to look for the video as I had to wash the dishes and watch my favorite series (gray's anatomy).next day at work every body was talking about bush and the brave Iraqi journalist, telling jokes and poems, there I saw the video in my mate cell phone, my daughters came back home with funny jokes and stories. And we kept seeing the video over and over.

"Asia cell" the company of cell phone services made large profits during the last few days because large no. of Iraqis were exchanging SMS jokes about Bush.


Friday, December 12, 2008

Personal confessions..

I consider my self as a coward when it's concerned about taking decisions that is life changing. I live in a place that I don't like and never dare to leave to Baghdad. Because I don't want to separate between my husband and his parents, as he is their only son.
And now I feel so much scared from the situation here in my country and never dare to leave abroad, because, I worry about finding a respectful job, and worry about my kids' schools, and their future in a strange country with different social life and traditions. And I can't live more far away from my parents.
I sometimes, NO, all the time blame myself for that. Why do I live a life I dislike? Why?
I wish I can do something and change it, but I know I can't. The most devastating thing that breaks my hart is to live away from my parents, while I very much wish to share them every moment in my life. I want them, and need to be beside them, I wish
I could help them, to pay them back for their sacrifices and for everything they did for me. I love them and wish to show them how much I care about them instead of being so much busy in this life.
Visiting my sister is another thing that I did not try to do yet, she is my only sister and I didn't see her since she had left Baghdad four years ago. I did not see her second daughter, my dear niece, only through the internet.
I very much like social life but after years and years of loneliness and trials to find people that are friendly, I feel like I am not trying any more, although now I think I can find people that left Baghdad and settled here in Mosul, but I don't even try to make friendships. My excuse is that my husband doesn’t like confounding with people and I am tired from trying to convince him to change …


Saturday, December 06, 2008

So depressing....

I will not celebrate Eid with my parents in Baghdad; they will celebrate it alone with the rest of the neighbors and very few relatives that did not leave.
I already feel lonely without a family, Eid spirit is only sensed among the family. But I can't go there; it's a long hard journey among many troops of military forces.
I visited Baghdad last July, I was happy to be with my parents, among some friends and neighbors, but felt angry and sad to see Baghdad with so many concrete barriers, and so many check points in civilian neighborhoods, so many soldiers here and there that made me feel uncomfortable. See those photos and dream to live in such a DEMOCRATIC capital, and even if you stay at home you will sit in the darkness or spend most of your income to have power.
Anyway Those walls by them selves are dreadful and depressing, it was necessary to do some thing to make them bearable. Iraqi painters found their own way…have a look….
she deserves to have a better wedding with pride and dignitygoing to school is not easy the walls themselves are so depressing but the iraqi painters had their own way to manage


Friday, December 05, 2008

worth reading

my uncle sent me this after I published a previous post about Obama ,share it with me, it worth reading .
Edna Canetti wrote this for MachsomWatch. The piece was translated from Hebrew by George Malent.. A Plea from IsraelCome, Obama, Change My Life By EDNA CANETTI
CounterPunchNovember 6, 2008
Obama my dear, they tell me that you are going to change the world. Do me a favor, come and change my life personally.
Come to Israel, grab its stupid leadership by the throat and take its foot off the neck of another people. Come and force us to do what is clear, and written, and fitting, and necessary, come and get us out of the Territories, if necessary do it with a smile that reveals million-dollar teeth. If necessary bare your teeth and force us to do it.
Make it so that I don't have to get up in the morning – I who hate to get up early, to go to the checkpoints, to watch and to weep. Make it so I will not have to see 19-year-old children who have been duped into believing that they are d efending the home front by pointing rifles at five-year-old children.
Make it so that when my daughters take a shower for half an hour I don't have to think about Ayad's family from Awarta that puts buckets under all the washbasins in order to reuse the water which is more precious than gold. Because the settlements need the West Bank's water more than the Palestinians do.
Make it so that when I sit in a traffic jam I don't have to think about the vast numbers of cars that are standing at the entrance to Tul Karem while each one is checked by soldiers and dogs because there has been a warning that they're about to blow up Tul Karem.
Make it so that when my sister urgently rushes to the hospital to give birth and when I rush my husband to the hospital practically with red lights flashing, I don't have to think about the women giving birth and the heart patients and the wounded people who are stopped at the entrance to Nablus because their vehicle has no permit to enter.
Make it so that when I see a soldier in uniform on the street I do not wonder what he did last night. What house he entered in a "Straw Widow pr ocedure",* what boy he beat up in the alleys of Hawara because he smiled the wrong way.
Make it so that in the morning I don't hear the satisfaction in the voice of the radio newsreader who relates tha t the IDF has killed six terrorists. Oba ma my dear, this autumn I did not go to the olive harvest. It didn't work out. Please make it so that I will not suffer from pangs of conscience because I am not doing enough. That I am living my own good life, pursuing my career, while for the other people just to get home safely is a career in itself.
Please relieve me of this pain that I have all the time deep in my belly. It never lets up, I can never really enjoy life, children, friends or work, because my mind is preoccupied with the image of the shepherd in Baq'a standing by the locked gate and shivering with cold because the redhead with the key has not showed up, and the bound blindfolded boy, and the three-year-old girl who got hit on the head by the carousel at the checkpoint, and the barriers of dirt and the concrete blocks that stop the lives of so many people from flowing smoothly.
Come, Obama, come and save us from ourselves.
And if that is what they mean when they say you are not a friend of Israel, then don't be a friend. We have already had friends who arm us and justify every horror we carry out and save us from the international cou rts. Be a true friend. Save us from ourselves. And don't do it for the world, do it only for me, so I can have peace. You owe it to me. I do not believe in God but still I prayed for you. =0 A

for the seventh time

Again my children had to go through a very scary situation, when a huge earsplitting explosion destroyed so many things in our house, within a second the windows, the doors were blown , the curtains were thrown torn dusty and full of broken glass. We were so lucky and blessed to stay alive and intact.But terrified. As a mother I can't find the words to describe the fear I had at that moment when I saw my little girl unconscious. She lost consciousness after her sister brought her to the corridor, we were examining her body to see if she was injured, but she was ok except simple scratches on her arm and with indescribable horror. When anyone sees the damages in our house realizes how lucky we were and how merciful god was when he protected us. I kept thankful all the time, even during removing the damages and all the broken glass, my kids are the most precious of all. BUT I am afraid from the coming.
You can see what happened through the photos.