Tough week

I had a tough week full of hard emotions, I really miss my parents and need to see them I didn't see them since last November, when they came in a quick visit ,but I didn't see Baghdad for a year and a half. I used to visit my family their every 2 months. I also feel so worried as schools will start and the fear and worry about my daughters will start too.
I heard about a relative murder, and so many sad stories about Iraqi families from the resident dentists ,I also read many experiences about families abroad from the network sites ……….
Ah,I really feel exhausted, I also had a difficult personal sympathy experience at work that made me lose my equipoise, I really want a brake before I explode. I had many crying moments this week…
Anyway at work ,we are one of the best two dental centers that offer good dental treatment in low prices, for thousands of people seeking our help to relief their pain , but as we have limited abilities we select certain cases that the other health centers can't treat, as I work in the diagnosis and oral medicine department, I select the cases according to the policies I have to obey, which makes me and the team of the resident dentists in contact with the sick ,poor patients., in deep sorrow we have to deselect many painful and cases of poor prognosis. many of these cases are children under 13 years, some times people start to beg us which is really a heart breaking situation we can't help ….this add more stress to me specially I usually very badly sympathize with those people, they can't afford for the dental high prices treatment and many of them chose to extract their teeth to relief the pain….
I took my kids to a picnic ,to a casino near the Tigris river with some relatives, Sunshine enjoyed fishing there ,my other two kids ,Miriam and yoyo, had fun too swimming and playing, although we heard many many explosions but the kids did not care, I supposed to have fun there, the weather was great, the company was nice , the view of the river was so much relieving , my kids happiness was the most important thing to me, but suddenly I burst into tears ....Then as I was close to one of the trees I heard a far away shooting and few moments latter the tree wicker near my head was smashed by an aimless bullet…the fear I felt was beyond discretion……
Mama

Every Iraqi is no more the same

It astonishes me how our children and youth became so different than they should be in this age. they look older in their behavior and attitudes. my son, yoyo is a three years old, he refuse to sleep in his own bed since the bad explosion that damaged our house badly……….he sleep in my bed rolling his fingers in my hair when he stops I presume he is in deep sleep, but as soon as I try to escape from the bed he wakes up. you can see my little boy don't feel secured in side our house. even when he is tired and need to sleep. he often asks me to stay next to him while he is playing with his toys or watching his favorite cartoon, even when he goes to the bathroom, much much more than bed times stories he asks if there will be explosions today, or if the windows will be broken again….

Miriam is not much better , she has bad memories and an inside fear in fact she is much aware of all the danger we live in ,she heard so many bad stories from school, TV, family members and friends much much more than bed time stories and fancy stories , she did not sleep alone since along time,
sunshine has additional bed in Miriam's room they sleep together ………
Sunshine is 15 as you know, she doesn't live her age too, she is more grown up than her age round the world , normally he should be interested in her school, friends, music , sports, clothes, make up, fashion and hair style, as well as actors and famous characters ,yes ,she is still interested in all that ,she is still ordinary teenager girl, but she Is more alert about our country and all what is happening to Iraqis, she is always busy writing just like if it's her responsibility , she feels she is obligated and should not be inattentive to what is going on to our life, future and homeland, she is even so much watchful to the bad campaign against Iraqis and Muslims in general, she want to stand against the world media to correct the wrong situation ,do you think it's a normal teenager cares….?!!!!...
In fact every Iraqi is no more the same than before we all are tired, sad and anxious about the unknown, the young dentists ( residents) look like old care-worn men ,in spite of there jokes, music and sport interests, but they often mention their fear about their opportunities to have families, jobs and future with settling …they don't have trust or believes in the upcoming…even those with strong ambitions..

the other thing that is obviouly changed ,we all considered our wenning in AFC Asian cup as a vectory, and that allowed us to have our flag fluttering high everywhere.....
Mama..

New resident dentists

This week another group of resident dentists will rotate to the department where I work ,they are from beloved Baghdad, I like to meet people specially if they were from other governorates and cities, every one have different stories since Baghdad downfall ,but all are tragic, Baghdadis known to have nice spirits as well as Iraqis from the other southern and western cities, but now I feel they are mystified a lot, and tense. I can understand that it's not easy to leave home and because of the difficulties they face in mosul,where large number of the people here are so much different , very introverted , anxious and not too friendly…it took me 17 years to be familiar with the to the differences between here and Baghdad and still I can't get along well…
Mama
P.S I usually take Sunshine's opinion about my post , this time she didn't like my judgment about Mosul citizens........